1412 replies to this topic

[SL the Pyro]

Then he probably would be a girl.

What if I broke randomly placed mirrors?

[Keen]

Then you'd have a 7r years of bad luck, where r is a random integer.

What if toilets didn't flush?

[Splash]

Then they would just be water bowls.

What if termites ate concrete?

[Keen]

Then everything would have to be abstract.

What if you had a teleporter?

[Splash]

Then I would make way too many Star Trek references each time I used it.

What if Scotty beamed you up?

[Keen]

Then I would be able to give the Federation security advice.

What if I gave them that advice?

[Splash]

Time paradox.

What if humankind was cannibalistic?

[Keen]

It would save the ecosystem years of decomposition. Which might be a bad thing, actually.

What if you or someone you know is cannibalistic?

[Splash]

If it was someone else I would make a lot of perverted "eating" jokes to them, and thus probably end up in their stove.

What if elephants could jump?

[Keen]

They would harness the power of Mario when somebody gets in their way.

What if [Esc]?

[Splash]

Then [Alt][F4].

What if when you die in the game, you die in real life?

[Keen]

Then I'm screwed.

What if when you got a 1up in the game you got a 1up in real life?

[Splash]

Then nothing would change. When could you get a 1up in real life?

What if the PS3 wasn't a flop?

[Keen]

Then I would be disappointed.

What if I used a frowning smiley when I heard such terrible news about Sony?

[Splash]

Then people would've thought you were being sarcastic.

What if Sonic was going to be in Super Smash Bros. Brawl?

[Keen]

Then I'd be all right with it because Sonic is infinitely better in two dimensions.

What if there was a real Fire Fox?

[Splash]

(You lie. Nothing beats Sonic 3 and Knuckles.)

Then there would be a whole lot more forest fires.

What if the guy who represents Apple computers in that bloody commercial was as old and balding as the Microsoft guy in the same commercial?

[Keen]

(But Sonic 3 and Knuckles is amazing 2d goodness!)

Then Gates vs Jobs.

What if you could enter the white zone?

[Splash]

(Oh, whoops. Staying up this late has given me some sort of dyslexia. Or I'm just silly.)

Then I would be blinded.

What if you couldn't wait to bomb some Dodongos?

[Keen]

I would have a rather strange obsession and would seek professional help (expert bomb-makers).

What if Link transported to New York City when he pulled the Master Sword in the Temple of Time?

[Splash]

Then he would fit right in. That place is crazy, man. Awesome, but crazy.
...well, he would fit right in until he violently attacked cars as they went by.

What if I stalked you?

[Keen]

I would be honored.

What if I were honored?

[Splash]

Then suppose I would be stalking you.

What if I were honored?

[Keen]

You would get a huge trophy.

What if that trophy was my head mounted on a plaque? Eek. How vulgar.

[Splash]

I would be very worried and frightened.

What if Epona was a donkey?

[Keen]

She would be a pretty donkey. And slower, but you'd be able to ride as a Goron, 'cause donkeys can really haul... you know.

What if I cut off in the?

[Splash]

Then .

What if anime was illegial in the USA?

[Keen]

I would be able to watch as much as I want online.

What if the Internet weren't so nifty?

[Splash]

Then it wouldn't have any porn.

What if the internet had nothing but porn?

[Keen]

I wouldn't use it. Seriously. I still have never seen pornography. I can't even believe it.

What if I waited and watched?