171 replies to this topic

[Showsni]

Turns out Joltik knows Me First, which steals Dig when I use it.

Well this is awkward.

However, Me First steals the attack and makes the stealer go first. You can logic out the rest of that.

*Puts on Pokémon Nerd hat*
(With a little "Unless the hacker changed it" badge)

Technically, Me First steals the attack (and powers it up) if they go first; if that Joltik were slower than you, it wouldn't have done anything. If he'd been speed tying with you, there's a chance he could have Dug first, then come up second, and hit you for more than Dig's normal base power.

[deep]

Haha! Turns out I have no idea how Me First works.

Joltik's base speed is 80, while Raichu's is 135. I don't exactly know why he was faster than me, but he was, because he Me Firsted my Dig and then dug first, which left him above ground and exposed for my Dig.

[Sir Deimos]

Shaddap and update already.

[deep]

Fine. I don't have any more updates in my backlog after this.

I took the game out for a spin the other night and N beat my ass hard. And it wasn't even the Pokemon you'd expect it to be. I need to griiiiind

edit: Whoops. I don't have any updates. The extra folder was the aborted update at the hands of N.

Edited by deep, 30 July 2012 - 06:41 PM.

[Sir Deimos]

How could you let career come between you, and by extension us, and pokemon?

[JRPomazon]

Our relationship of trust is practically on the brink of devastation DP.

[deep]

Chapter 21 - Guilt Trip

So N beat my ass. He's sitting with levels around 35-38. My highest is 33ish.

I've resolved to train, but I also decided to drop Verde in favor a new mystery teammate.

The person who guesses which generation said new teammate comes from will get to name it whatever they like.

There are only 5 generations, but there are also like 4 commenters, so I'm not worried about a tie.



This looks like a good place to train.



I fight Baseballers on a holofield. Because this is the future.



Desperately trying to get to level 36 with Cool Ranch and Guac so I can evolve them, so I stick Cool Ranch out front, and start with Meditate.



Story of my life.

I dispatch Stunky and keep Cool Ranch out.



I'm so jealous.

And I heal his poison. He's got two Meditates on, why waste them?



Axew uses Hone Claws. Good thing I can take his ASS OUT YEAH



I am an idiot.



derp

Luckily, super buff Axew doesn't hit hard.



LET'S TRY THAT ONE AGAIN



Pro-tip: Dragons are weak to Ice! They resist Water!



Oh, I got this!



I don't know why ripping a clam shell off his own leg is so strong.



Torkoal has so much defense. Base 163.



He uses Curse and then I hit him again the end.


After this battle, my mystery teammate evolves TWICE.

Enough clues.

Nobody else wants to fight me. They just spout stupid baseball crap.



zzzz fight me



Fine, let's check out the other stadium.



is... is this Quidditch?



Don't hit that Pokeball! They aren't very well cushioned...



I have Minccino/Cinccino PTSD.



Luckily, Cool Ranch gets a Meditate off while confused, and then snaps out of it the next turn.



I love Granbull! Purple underbite dog.



I throw out a second Meditate.



DP uses Grumble.

I usually don't heal status effects. I have a bad hoarding problem in RPGs.




I'm overcoming it in small doses. Also, NEED EVOLUTION SO BADLY

Granbull uses a Howl while I heal. Not worried though.


So, two Meditates, two levels of attack up.

Razor Shell hits for 75, STAB adds 32.5, that's a mean 107.5 damage before the buffs.





Welp now I'm worried.



OW. Granbull's only packing 118 base defense, but he's got 145 base attack before Howl.

I do another Razor shell, hoping to proc the defense lowering effect to set up the next Pokemon once Cool Ranch gets flattened.





I keep Cool Ranch out for the SMASHER'S Eevee.

I toss out a Razor Shell.



Welp, gg



Hah! I'm still alive! Clutch paralysis, though. I use Ice Shard in anticipation of the trainer throwing out a Hyper Potion.



Nope!

And Eevee just got an attack boost by bathing in Cool Ranch's blood.

I bring in Guac.

Hey Guac, what did the 10 fingers say to the face?



Fake Out!



Guac uses Work Up because I plan on testing out Drain Punch on this convenient Normal-type.

Even though Guac's physical attack is horrendous.



I take a brief moment to ponder the dark magic that makes it possible to heal yourself with your opponent's life essence by punching their face.



OHKO. Heals Guac to full.

As per usual, nobody else wants to fight.



I don't believe you.



*sigh*

They always are.

I have checked every one since I found a Great Ball on the S.S. Anne in 1998.




Ooh, a food truck!


---

Next time, I continue training my SUPER SPECIAL NEW TEAM MATE at the trailer park.

[Sir Deimos]

IF HE EVOLVED TWICE THAT SHIT WAS A CATERPIE OR WHEEDLE. Or their equivalent in the other gens. Hmmm. I'll guess gen I cause why not.

[deep]

I'm docking points for misspelling Weedle.

[JRPomazon]

You caught a Yanma? His name is Montoya.

[Ikiosho]

I'm going for Gen V. It's name is "Harrison".

[Twinrova]

Guessing gen 3

[canas is back]

gen 3

[deep]

You caught a Yanma? His name is Montoya.

Not the correct answer, but you must be psychic.

[Sir Deimos]

Explain! D:

[deep]

It shall all be explained in a future update. I've got over 100 images that I didn't sort into chapters that just focus on one area.

I would expect two 50-image updates sometimes soon.

[deep]

Chapter 22 - Fightin'

First up, we fight the lady outside the trailer.



Hay gurl, was your daddy a baker? Cos you got nice buns!

Five of them!



Welcome to the continuation of the Level-Up Guac and Cool Ranch show.

I begin most fights with Work Up or Meditate so that both guys can sweep.

I usually avoid buffing and just try to keep a team that can hit most weaknesses, but with a few buffs, you can just power your way past most problems.



Sleep is not one of those problems.



I'm done done done with all the fuck fuck fuckin' around.



Hah! I figured he had Wake-Up Slap. I'm on to you, Sir Hacksalot.



Then I suck his health out through his face with my fist skin.



I Am Not Playing Grovyle Right.

Doesn't make it any less satisfying.



I love Spheal. He's a permanent face, and Walrein is a pretty badass battler.

It's a minor tragedy I have to Bullet Seed that smile off his face.



Did I screenshot all those Combees I found before the first gym? Not ONE female.

The hacker made them easier to find, but the chances of finding a lady Combee are nil anyway.

I JUST WANT A VESPIQUEN GAME DON'T MAKE ME BREEED

Anyway, with Grass and Fighting attacks, I take a Nacho break to take Vespiquen down.



That'll do.

Now we head into the trailer.



A trailer maid! You must have the easiest job!



She also buys... foodstuffs? I guess? There are a bunch of NPCs who buy stuff for more than they're normally worth. It's largely not worth the effort.

MOAR FIGHTING



Paul? Harlequin Paul?

It couldn't be Harlequin Jacques? Franco? Pierre?

Paul.



Harlequin Phil has a Trapinch. I am instantly jealous. I remember rockin a Vibrava on my copy of Emerald. And a Salamence. Two 4x Ice weaknesses, but I had two dragons, dammit.



He's also got a Whirlpede, one of the Gen V Pokemon I actually really like.

I do not like Poison Point.



THIS WHOLE EVOLUTION FAMILY IS SO COOL UGH



Any chance to exploit a 4x weakness makes me giddy. I'm a Pokepath.







A 2x weakness is okay too.

Parasect creeped me out as a kid. The idea of a malignant fungus taking over the body of cute lil Paras is pretty dark.

At some point I stopped reading Pokedex entries. But Gen I? I read them all.



That's... a lot of defense.

Well, Cool Ranch is okay against Bug stuff, right?

Swing away, Dewott!



oops



yeah uh peace



Pardon the purple; Nacho was cosplaying as Grimace.




NERRRRRRRRRD



That guitar is missing a few vital pieces. Also strings.

Also, Preston?

What, are you a trust fund baby busking for fun over a weekend?

Allow me to give you a round of...



Applause.



Then I vampirepunch it.



Hey! You skipped an evolution!

Oh whatever vampirepunch go



One more vampirepunch.



That is not a musically inclined Pokemon...

So much for your dumb theme, Preston.







The action you're missing is me Drain Punching Maractus for little bits of damage, and all the life I recover being drained by his Rough Skin ability.

Once he uses Spikes, I feel compelled to murder him myself. And then he keeps. using. Spikes.

So I'm like guffawing at this "strategy" because I'm not switching out and he's dead next turn.



NPCs ALREADY HAVE FULL RESTORES



I love you Bullet Seed.



OH GOD IT HAS DRAIN PUNCH TOO NOW I KNOW HOW IT FEEEELS



Are you shitting me



raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa



aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa



aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAGH BET YOU HAD A FULL RESTORE NOW HUH









I hope it's a bunch of Full Restores, Preston.



....

.... it's made of cardboard and has no strings.








Gotta fight Eddy Gordo.



That Aipom I fought many moons ago wasn't fucking around, so I made damn sure not to trifle with Ambipom.


It hit me absurdly hard once.












I could've had one of these, but I'm pretty happy with Nacho. I might bring Chili back later though, because Charizard learns Dragon Dance.

This battle ends how you'd expect.







I want to know who thought a Pokemon with ill-fitting skinpants was a good idea.

Probably the same person who thought an ice cream sundae and a trash bag were good ideas. Oh and a candelabra.




Nuh uh, I saw Titanic. First you draw me naked and then thousands of people die. Plus you're old.

Plus I'm fifteen! GOSH



Blaine?

Blaine take off that hat and go back to your gym and stop being a pedophile



Oh hey, I guess it's kinda cool he has a Ditto. He's allegedly an artist and Ditto's a putty monster that can procreate with nearly everything.

I get a Work Up off because I know Ditto's going to transform, which means Free Damage



Mirror match. Heaven or Hell. Let's rock.



oh god what have I done



Dittoguac starts Drain Punching me for more damage than I can do to him. He is a better Grovyle.

Luckily I started attacking first, so I've got the upper ha--



sigh.



At this point, I switch Guac out because I KNOW Horton's gonna drop a second Full Restore and I want to rain down unholy wrath.



He doesn't, but Fire Fang misses the first time so Ditto's back in the game anyway lol ffffffffffffff



That. Fucking. Ditto.




The first Sigilyph I ever found made me legitimately and unrepentantly excited. At the time I thought it was some sort of ~*fucking bananas*~ Unown evolution.

I also know they hit Super Fucking Hard, so I don't even bother leveling Guac or Cool Ranch.



Delibird got a nice stat boost! He's almost worth using.

Horton's last Pokemon?



Smeargle.

I bring in Peking again because this can only end horribly unless I kill this quickly and with great prejudice.

Honchkrow leads with Fake Out and follows with Work Up.



ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

Moody randomly heightens one stat up to two stages, and randomly lowers another, again up to two stages.

This fluctuation is Attack +2, Special Def -1.



Relic Song.

I crap my pants because I have no idea what the hell Relic Song is.

Spoiler

Looking it up just now, It's a Normal-type special attack with 75 base damage, so 107.5 on Smeargle. Luckily, it was special, and his huge boost was to physicals.

I didn't catch it, but after this turn his attack raised two stages and his evasiveness dropped 1.

So the running total is Attack +4, Sp Def -1, Evasion -1. Welp.

















---

Next time, I unveil my new team mate and I start meeting awesome shit in the tall grass.

[Veteran]

YAAAAY!

And no hating on Scraggy. He is awesomeness personified.

[Twinrova]

And no hating on Scraggy. He is awesomeness personified.

Seconded. Scraggy unofficially became my favorite Pokemon after he saved my ass all those times in White.

[Kisseena]

Now we're cooking with fire_{ohgoshI'msorrythatwasworsethanmostKissyjokes}

I'm just now reading this. I laughed way too hard. XDDD

[deep]

I don't want to throw out strong accusations like "hilariously broken," but let's just say I am excited to catch a Slaking that doesn't have Truant and a Durant with fixed stats and Heatproof.

(Also, holy shit, Regigigas doesn't have Slow Start.)

I really need to start paying more attention to new abilities Pokemon have.

Edited by deep, 01 August 2012 - 10:54 PM.

[deep]

Chapter 23 - The Big Reveal



This is how far you can get without beating both the third and fourth gyms, by the way.





Plus attack AND plus defense?! YES PLEASE





...



...



...






The body of a young man you killed on the top of a mountain.



Imagine if Yawn worked like that in real life. That would be so inconvenient.



Luckily I only need one turn to pigstinguish him.



Peking hits hard.



I didn't know this at the time, but Unowns are kind of dangerous.

HP - 85
ATK - 75
DEF - 100
SPA - 135
SDF - 85
SPD - 75

48 (+37)
72 (+3)
48 (+52)
72 (+63)
48 (+37)
48 (+27)

Then this happened:



I have never seen this attack before, but it looks fucking painful.

I was like oh god what has he done to Unowns they are death machines you can spell words with--



oh, well that wasn't so bad.



Archaeology is easy!



Backpackers seem to carry at least 4 Pokemon. I guess it sort of makes sense. You can see him stashing 3 on his pack.



I've only got Grass and Fighting attacks, two dismal types against Poison.

So I think it's time to switch out to my NEW TEAM MATE.

Here goes! Who will win naming privileges?

Edited by deep, 02 August 2012 - 03:50 PM.

[Sir Deimos]

You are the worst sort of person.

[Twinrova]

I can't see the last image.. D: It's only loading like 1/3 of the way for me.




[Edit] Wait, that was on purpose. You're a jerk.

Edited by Twinrova, 02 August 2012 - 06:05 PM.

[Veteran]

Oh. My. God. It took me two refreshes before I even read Rova's post! Ha! That is awesome!

Remind me to hire you as a consultant next April Fool.

[Showsni]

Was that Cosmic Power Unown used? Did the hacker give them all the powers? Hidden Power (Fighting, probably)/Cosmic Power/Stored Power could actually be a decent moveset!

[deep]

Chapter 23, Part II - The Big Reveal



Nidoking!

You all remember SweetChili from at least 15 updates ago? The Nido* family have gotten a nice buff, both to stats and to move pool.

HP - 95
ATK - 134
DEF - 94
SPA - 126
SDF - 97
SPD - 103

81 (+14)
92 (+52)
77 (+17)
85 (+41)
75 (+24)
85 (+18)

He's got mixed sweeping potential, decent defenses, and speed you would not expect.

More importantly, vanilla Nidoking learns 4 total moves, whereas Yang White Nidoking gets 23, like everyone else.

Most importantly, he's Ground-type. I've been saying that's a hole on my team, and I need it bad for this next gym.

AND! Because Sean guessed right, and was the only person to guess Gen I:



His new name is Gojira. No wait, Gojira.


Also! A cool thing happened on my journey back to the previous town to rename Gojira and restock fancy Poke Balls.



SHINY SANDILE

I've never seen a shiny Pokemon before! And I've been playing Pokemon for 2/3 of my life.






And now back to our regularly scheduled program!



4X WEAKNESS BULLET SEED IS AMAZING FOREVER



I CAN TASTE THIS EVOLUTION LOOK HOW LAME THESE STATS ARE



Wha---what?

Well, it's been fun, Bullet Seed.

I find it hilarious I still can't get a special Grass-type attack on Guac.



They're both so close LOOK AT THOSE EVEN LAMER STATS



I replace Swift, because I never use it, and the idea of Cool Ranch jumping in and hitting something super hard every time I get a Pokemon knocked out makes me excited.



Ugly and spiky showdown.



More archaeology!



Arceus just leaves his shit lying around everywhere.



The double-battle grass around here has a lot of Poison and Normal types.







IT ALSO HAS A LOT OF FUCKING AWESOME TYPES.



In honor of Sean, I present to you Finn the Scyther.







I catch it because why not.

His name is Leo.




Hello shaky grass!

Like I said earlier, each shaky grass / water bubble thing has its own encounter table with 10 different encounters of pretty sweet catches.

I will never see many of them.



BITCHIN



Limon. (Lee-moan)

I don't know why, but I picture Electabuzz sounding sexy and Spanish / Steve Blum in Shadows of the Damned.

Next up, I find....




Oh shit! Jerp!

Gotta name him Montoya.



Nostalgiabombbbb

But I beat it up. He got too much anime face time.



Her name is Rova.



I catch her in the heart ball. <3






yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa



aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa



aaaaaaaOH WHAT HOLY SHIT YES





YUM TUNA DORITOS



yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa



aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa



aaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyNOFUCKINGWAY



GET



IN



MY



POKEBALL.

SUCK IT SAFARI ZONE



It's like a buffet! Is it too early to start my dragon collection?



It's a she, so it's Ms. Dragon.




This is the best damn patch of grass in the whole series.




We made a good haul!

I also picked up a Slakoth, because Slaking doesn't default to Truant in this hack. That might be fun.


At this point, I'm confident in my levels.


---

Next time, I go on a date.

For real this time.

Unless he beats me more.

Edited by deep, 02 August 2012 - 07:27 PM.

[deep]

Was that Cosmic Power Unown used? Did the hacker give them all the powers? Hidden Power (Fighting, probably)/Cosmic Power/Stored Power could actually be a decent moveset!

hahahahah. Showsni, you have a hacker's mindset, obviously.

I present to you, Unown's moveset:

Level 1 - Hidden Power
Level 5 - Power Swap
Level 5 - Guard Swap
Level 10 - Nature Power
Level 15 - Secret Power
Level 20 - Cosmic Power
Level 25 - Stored Power
Level 30 - Ancientpower
Level 35 - Power Trick
Level 40 - Power Gem
Level 45 - Power Split
Level 45 - Guard Split
Level 50 - Earth Power
Level 60 - Superpower

Edited by deep, 02 August 2012 - 07:31 PM.

[Sir Deimos]

Pretty sure you used this meme already, but whatever, I'll just text it.





CATCH ALL THE THINGS!



That patch of grass was amazing. I want an Electabuzz. And a Scyther. And dragons.

[Showsni]

That patch of grass was amazing. I want an Electabuzz. And a Scyther. And dragons.

But Electabuzz and Scyther are mortal enemies! Especially when they see red.

Nidoking is a great Pokémon, should do you proud. Question, though; what is his aility and nature? If he's Sheer Force Nidoking with a nature that doesn't make special moves rubbish, you can get the awesome set of Life Orb Earth Power/Thunderbolt/Flamethrower/Ice Beam. It has godly coverage, every single move gets boosted in power by Sheer Force, and Sheer Force means the Life Orb has no recoil damage! Of course, I don't know when you'll pick those TMs and items up. (Earth Power has 90 base power, for instance. With STAB that's 135. With Life Orb that's 175. With Sheer Force that's 228. 228 base power move! Without being choice locked or taking recoil damage!