7956 replies to this topic

[Showsni]

Awesome!

How/where/when/why?

[SteveT]

Yes, I find this story lacking. Pics or it didn't...

wait.

[JRPomazon]

Awesome!

How/where/when/why?

There was a book release party last night a few towns over for a book called Lunatic Heroes. Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer were friends of the author and helped promote the book by performing and reading. The book itself is a series of short stories and memoirs and every part that I got the hear last night was fantastic. Neil Gaiman even read some of his next book to the audience. Then there was the autograph part. Didn't get a copy of the book that was being launched because I was being frugal and cheap. Wish I did now.

[Crimson Lego]

Me with my happy face.

[Steel Samurai]

Steel's traditional post-thanksgiving-power-nap of AWESOME.

[J-Roc]

I ALREADY LIKED IT ON FB STEEL.

I CAN ONLY LIKE IT SO MUCH DAMMIT

[Kisseena]

Our floor at our dorm building decided to take a group picture.

DAT.


FACE.


Also the guy next to me.
I don't know any of those people, other than they live on the same floor. My RA asked me to come so I was like sure.

Edited by Kisseena, 07 December 2012 - 02:26 AM.

[J-Roc]

I don't know whats creepier, Kissy, the shirt to your left or the hand on your right that appears a second away from being jammed in your crotch.

[Mystic Kitsune]

Yes, crotch-hand especially when you don't know the people. XD

Though that guy on the right is fantastic. XD

[Hero of Slime]

I like those colorful pants you are wearing.

[Doopliss]

I got new clothes for work last weekend.



Also a new outfit, but my hair was ridiculous that day:



I don't know why I'm sharing these. Anyway, enjoy.

If I'm allowed to make the comment... I thought you were quite slim! Probably that was when you were 16?

[Dizzy]

I could just die from happiness right now...



Pete (the lead singer of Chevelle) gives awesome hugs.

Edit: better image!

Edited by Dizzy, 10 December 2012 - 01:19 AM.

[Twinrova]

If I'm allowed to make the comment... I thought you were quite slim! Probably that was when you were 16?

Wow. Rude.

[frogmonkeys]

If I'm allowed to make the comment... I thought you were quite slim! Probably that was when you were 16?

Wow. Rude.

so glad I'm not the only one! I'm pretty sure my jaw actually dropped at that comment. ouch. everyone loves being told they aren't skinny anymore...

[JRPomazon]

If I'm allowed to make the comment... I thought you were quite slim! Probably that was when you were 16?

Wow. Rude.

so glad I'm not the only one! I'm pretty sure my jaw actually dropped at that comment. ouch. everyone loves being told they aren't skinny anymore...

Hmm, kinda crass but not entirely rude. And it depends on the person. I've known people who worked on not being too skinny because they hated that people thought they had eating disorders.

Edited by Game Master JRPomazon, 10 December 2012 - 07:00 PM.

[Twinrova]

IMO it's generally quite rude to comment on a person's weight, regardless of how heavy (or not) they are. The same goes for the "eat a cheeseburger" type comments often directed at skinny people.

[Steel Samurai]

IMO it's generally quite rude to comment on a person's weight, regardless of how heavy (or not) they are. The same goes for the "eat a cheeseburger" type comments often directed at skinny people.

*puts on amateur social theorist hat*

Theoretically this should be true, but because being overweight is socially unacceptable and being thin is socially acceptable, in practice it's usually not offensive. At least, I've never heard of any underweight people being genuinely offended by someone making a remark on their weight. Not that it doesn't happen. It's like (on a much greater scale) the way in which it's rude to comment on someone's lisp, but not to say that they speak very precisely. An imperfect analogy because it suggests a "correct" physical standard when any sort of physical standard, when not practically based, is quite arbitrary, but hopefully it illustrates the point.

The idea of rudeness itself is an interesting one. For example, I was brought up to consider it rude to put your elbows on the table while you were eating, though it was okay once you had finished eating or were only drinking something. Obviously this is completely different from calling someone fat, yet both are categorized under the same manner of social chastisement.

This makes me think maybe a "rude" or "polite" rubric is a bit unnecessary in modern society, and we should just go to the heart of the problem.

*takes off amateur social theorist hat*



Doopliss, don't be a dick. Consider that maybe Toan is sensitive about his weight (not that he is, necessarily) and could be genuinely hurt by someone commenting on it. In fact, a good rule of thumb is to not make personal comments unless they're compliments.

[Twinrova]

At least, I've never heard of any underweight people being genuinely offended by someone making a remark on their weight.

Really? I've known plenty of underweight people who get super annoyed at the comments they get for it. "You need to eat a sandwich" "Are you anorexic?" "Curvy women are REAL women" are all the types of comments they've received and they've hated them all.

Also...I'm not really sure what point you're trying to make? Because this here:

In fact, a good rule of thumb is to not make personal comments unless they're compliments.

Is pretty much exactly MY point. o.o

[Selena]

Well, I could ramble on about the various subtopics that have sprung up, but as far as the main point goes:





And that is the official admin declaration on that. Comment was uncalled for, please do not do it again.

[Steel Samurai]

There's a difference between being offended and annoyed. After having lived in the US for two years, I actually am really sick of "OMG WHERE IS YOUR ACCENT FROM" comments, even though I know that the person talking to me considers it a compliment, and it's a socially praised attribute. That's annoying. What would be offensive would be if I had a southern accent and people said I sounded like an uneducated redneck.

As I was hoping to make clear, I'm not saying that telling someone to "go eat a sandwich" is a good thing, or even a neutral thing. Just that it's not really on the same level as telling someone you barely know that they're fat, because one has positive values in the society at large, one has negative values. The girls that make those comments usually come off as jealous or insecure about their own weight, because they're operating in a society that tells them constantly that "skinnier is better". It's the context that matters. Same essential reason why black comedians can make jokes about white people all day long without anyone batting an eyelid, but if a white comedian tells a joke about black people that isn't suitably denigrating to his own culture, people immediately yell racist. It's David and Goliath syndrome. The western world likes to root for the underdog. So while white people and skinny people have more cultural power than black people and overweight people, it's okay to take pot-shots at them because in the end they're still the ones calling the shots. You can't really do them any harm.

I'm definitely not saying this is a good thing. I'd rather we all just look at each other as people and say "hey! We're different! How cool is that?" But it is the social reality, at least as I perceive it.

[Twinrova]

Ok, if you're gonna nitpick my word choices - then I shouldn't have said I've known underweight people who are annoyed by those comments, I should have said offended. It's especially the anorexic comments. You can't tell me anorexia isn't something viewed very negatively by society but skinny people still get accused of being anorexic just because they don't fit in with someone's idea of what "healthy" looks like.

I just don't like that you seem to be saying it's more ok for skinny people to get made fun of because it "doesn't do any harm". Telling skinny people they look anorexic or that they're not "real" women/men can be just as damaging to their self esteem, which is why I think it's bad to comment on someone's weight regardless of how much they weigh.

Edited by Curiosity Rova, 10 December 2012 - 10:11 PM.

[Steel Samurai]

I'll take your word for it that it does result in lowered self-esteem, in which case it's absolutely not okay to make fun of them for it.

I just have no personal experience with people like that. I know quite a few people for whom being overweight has led to serious self-esteem issues, enough that it seems as though it's the norm, that overweight=struggle with self esteem for MOST people. But none of the reverse. A couple girls, maybe, that are insecure about their breast or ass size, but not like "oh shit I have to eat as much as I can and gain weight or else no one will ever love me."

Obviously, though, just because I don't know any doesn't mean they aren't out there.

I didn't want to imply that one comment or another is more okay, or to nitpick word usage. Just that in the broader social context, one comment is directed towards a group with perceived lower status, and another with perceived higher status, which does change (to some extent) the effect of the comment. My statement earlier about not doing any harm was meant to reflect cultural groups as a whole, not individuals. That is to say that while attacking overweight people is just further oppressing a marginalized group, attacking skinny people is attacking the center, the cultural power, and it's an ineffectual attack (culturally) because the attacking group doesn't have the weight of numbers (on a macro scale) to really force a shift in cultural values. On an individual scale things are different, though, because it's quite easy to outnumber an individual, and make him/her seem like less of a person because they're not like the others.

This obviously isn't a preferable state of affairs. A preferable state of affairs is everyone, like I said, being happy with who they are, making changes only for health's sake, and not fucking judging people based on externals. In order to move towards that, we have to stop negative comments on personal appearance.

What's my point with all of this? I have no idea. I completely agree that any comment that might damage someone's self esteem in a destructive way should be avoided all the time, and is not okay. I suppose the social implications and back workings of the entire issue are interesting to me, even if they don't result in any external change in action.

Edited by Steel Samurai, 10 December 2012 - 11:23 PM.

[Doopliss]

I'm very sorry, I genuinely didn't mean to point out anything I perceived as negative. It was only meant as 'I remember you having a different complexion, so it is weird to find out all these years I was associating a different image of you from the actual one'. Nothing more than 'I thought you didn't have a beard'.

[Twinrova]

Well for next time, bear in mind that it's generally not a good idea to comment on someone's weight.

[Crimson Lego]

Popcorn is yummy.

[Sir Deimos]

... does that count as emotion your showing?

[Twinrova]

... does that count as emotion your showing?

His showing what?

[Sir Deimos]

Oh typos.

[Twinrova]

You're welcome.

[Crimson Lego]

... does that count as emotion your showing?

I'm just happy to be here.