36 replies to this topic

[Veteran]

You're suspended for five days.

Once again (I stress the 'again') you have been posting in an unacceptable manner. We do not want to see 'as a matter of fact' posts from you anymore! Examples include "I don't have friends" and "I'm not very good at making roller coasters".

We don't want blunt posts! We want insight, depth, meaning and so forth! If you don't have anything worthwhile to say, don't say it! You're the only person I've ever seen who will post ANYTHING that comes to mind when viewing a topic. Use some tact.


The other matter is your depressive posts. You may have guessed that some people don't believe you when you say certain things about yourself, and to be honest, I'm one of them. But despite that, I'm going to give you a chance and give some advice based on the assumption you really are blue in real life. There are two ways to be depressed: 1) Openly depressed, and 2) secretly depressed.

Option 2 is a serious condition and not something one ought to tell another how to act, however, this is the internet and the rules are different. You should come here to this forum to escape your depression. This is an outlet to be used for positive effects only. If you need to talk to people about all the negative stuff, I'm sure there are other forums out there specifically tailored for such discussions. This forum isn't.

Sure, you can make a topic at these forums wishing to talk about your feelings, but your feelings should not be encroaching on all the other discussions going on at these boards. Asking for advice is one thing, projecting your mood onto others is something else entirely.



I'm giving you this one chance to heed my advice. If you don't, there isn't a second chance.

[Chukchi Husky]

I'm incapable on insight, depth and meaning.

[Veteran]

Well then this forum is obviously not for you.


I have given you five days. I suggest you use these five days to seek some help. Upon your return to these forums, if you do not show some stark improvement in your general demeanor, there is nothing I can do except ban you from these boards.

[Chukchi Husky]

I'm sorry. I find it hard to say anything on my mind. It can take a long time for something to come out, or maybe never, and what does come out is usually something small. I think it's because of Asperger's Syndrome. It's probably one of the reasons why I failed school (my parents say it's because my eyesight is becoming worse) along with everything else I tried. I fear something bad will happen if anything more comes out. I fear people, especially my parents.

I guess no where is for me. It seems to be the message everyone gives to me. I feel I have a future as a recluse, living away from humans. I believe I wasn't supposed to be a human, but I don't know why I was born one. Sometimes I think it was a mistake.

I never had friends, no one would let me have any. I thought maybe the internet might be a place where I could have friends, but I guess I was wrong. Sooner or later, anyone I thought could have been my friend end up hating me.

Everyone says I should look for help, but the problem is that no one will want to try and help me, and those who do will say I'm lying, or will end up bullying me. Others say I should talk to my parents for help, but they have their own problems and it will probably make it worse if I told them mine. My mother suffers from depression and she smokes to try and help that, and my father has a lot of health problems, and acts like a know it all. It doesn't help that my siblings constantly fight and misbehave. They also have financial problems.

[Selena]

Everyone says I should look for help, but the problem is that no one will want to try and help me, and those who do will say I'm lying, or will end up bullying me.

I've noticed several threads throughout your stay here where people have tried to help you, Husky, or at least listen and offer up advice. Even if those threads didn't even start out about that. The problem is whenever someone tries to help you, all you do is make excuses. For every solution someone offers, you manage to make a thousand reasons why you won't help yourself. And then people give up and get annoyed, because that kind of behavior gets you no where. Perhaps that's why you supposedly lose friends. It's frustrating to see someone mope all day and never want to fix things.

Don't like being bullied? Then you have to stand up for yourself. That's really all there is to it. You're the only one who can help yourself, and given how many excuses you make, it seems like you don't even want help from outside sources. Just pity. That's why it's getting to be a distraction.

[Chukchi Husky]

Sometimes I want to try the help given here, but it's like I'm trapped at home. It's hard to explain. It's like my mind is a prison.

I did stand up for myself a few times when I was younger. When I was bullied, I reacted like an animal. It ended up making things worse. It make the other kids want to bully me more, and I get into trouble with the teachers. When I stopped reacting that way, they would find new ways to bully me. I ended up being a loner, and it made them think of new ways to bully me. They thought I was homosexual, so they would make odd gestures to me and some even got near me and touched me between the legs. I tried to get away from them but it didn't work. Others tried to stab me and got a knife out, but I ran as fast as I could away from them. One of the bullies eventually became my sister's boyfriend, so he changed around me, but my parents soon realised how he behaved. The year group I belonged to at school was known as the "violent" year. Several kids I grew up with are now in prison, and a few are dead. The secondary school I went to didn't help. It was one of those schools that accept kids that no other school would accept, and it's one of the worst in the country. I tried to do well at school even with all the problems. I used to be curious about everything, so I have a good knowledge about almost everything, but the school put me in the bottom groups for everything and it took three years for them to realise that they put me in the wrong groups, so they put me to the top, except for English and languages, where I probably needed the most help. Then it started to get worse for sixth form. Many of the subjects I wanted to do the school dropped, and the ones I took that I wanted to do the teachers never arrived for them. The only subject I ended up doing was maths because I was told I should do maths, and I never liked maths. I asked other teachers if I could do other subjects, but they just ignored it. I, along with others doing the subjects where the teacher never appeared complained to the headmaster, but he did nothing. When my final exams came, I failed them all. They wouldn't let me start sixth form again unless I wanted to do maths again, so I left. My parents went to connexions to see if they can get me into a college, but by then it was too late.

[Veteran]

Ok, I've sought advice from my mother who is a trained councellor.

You find it hard to say whatever is on your mind. This forum is not a vehicle for you to use hoping you can offload some of the weight on your mind. You have to talk to people who are trained in this sort of thing, my mother can only suggest the Samaritans. They can put you in touch with someone who can help you with your depression.

The internet and this forum cannot provide you with a way out, only you can find the way as scary as that sounds. It is [img]http://forums.legendsalliance.com/public/ALOT.png[/img] to bare, knowing only you can get out of this, but making the first step is the hardest part. All subsequent steps ought to be easy by comparison.

You need to use this and any other forum you go to to talk about the things they're aimed at, e.g. video games. It provides a distraction for you. You don't always have to talk about yourself here. I know you're wanting to make friends, but like Lena said, people don't respond to pity. You have to adapt yourself and you can only do this by seeking professional help as we are not equipped at this website to respond to your situation in the best possible way.


I don't want to look like I'm forcing you off of the forums by suspending you. All that's happened is that it's reached a point where you simply cannot go on in this way. But it's not the end! Things can get better even if you think they can't and there's no way out, there is.

Your post above was the most revealing we've seen of you, and that's actually good. If you can open up to us in such a way, you can open up to others. You can email the Samaritans rather than ringing them if you want, it might be easier. All you have to do is tell them what you've told us and they can advise you infinitely better than me, my mum, or anyone else here.

Think of these five days as your transitional period. Time for you to start feeling better.

[Chikara Nadir]

Regardless of your personal physical or emotional wellbeing, you should be noticing one thing about this thread, Chukchi. When you only say a line or two in most LA discussions to tell us repeatedly that you're feeling down, people might say they sympathize, but not know how to do much else for you.

But in this thread, you're finally offering us some insight into what you're feeling and thinking. In fact, you're saying a lot more than we've been used to hearing from you for a very long time. It may not be the best of situations for you to be suspended...but I appreciate that you're actually speaking up.

[Bond Extreme]

Just want to say to you, Chukchi stay positive. If you keep saying negative things about you even if you don't mean it, it could happen to you anyway.

[Gabe Puratekuta]

Yeah, Husky-san! Stay positive! Keep your chin up! Smile! Don't let anything get you down! And remeber, you have friends

[HD_Alex_HD]

Yeah, Husky-san! Stay positive! Keep your chin up! Smile! Don't let anything get you down! And remeber, you have friends

What he said.

[Chikara Nadir]

Alex, we understand that your message was meant to be comforting, but don't post things in Member Notices unless you actually are trying to add something to the conversation. "What he said" is not productive.

[Doopliss]

Chukchi Husky, I assure you that most of us would really like to help you, but we don't know exactly how to. Veteran is right: there are many people who wish to help you and that know how to do it better than us.

Meanwhile, you can always come here to talk about something related to the topics each forum is about, I'm sure that there's something that interests you here. You like gaming and media, right?

Stop thinking that it was a mistake to have been born human. You are the one who can decide to be happy and to achieve what you want in life. You are still young and you can still learn aabout something that interests you. Mathematics aren't everything, actually, there are many people who know nothing about them and have a good work and who are very talented at other things.

Edited by Doopliss, 08 February 2006 - 05:03 PM.

[Chukchi Husky]

I can't go to university. I need at least three A levels at C or higher and I don't even have one because of failing maths and the school, so I wasted the last two years of my life. I could go to college but the courses they offer are art courses (which need a portfolio to enter), simple computer skills that I already have and floristry. It doesn't matter if I'm still young, I had my chance and I failed.

[Showsni]

You could potentially retake your A-Levels, either studying by yourself and then paying to sit the exam somewhere or trying to rejoin a Sixth Form somewhere...

Or maybe go for some kind of vocational award? There are jobs where you can get a job and be given an NVQ as well - Apprenticeships.

http://www.apprenticeships.org.uk/

[Chukchi Husky]

I could have taken A levels at the college, but it was only one night a week, and it cost something like £80 a night. I think I'm too old to join another sixth form. I don't know about an apprenticeship.

[Chikara Nadir]

If you aren't sure about anything, then GET the facts - trying your hardest is often the only way any of us can get anything done in life. Opportunities aren't handed out to that many people on a silver platter, so you have to recognize that a lot of people are in similar situations as your own. This community is a family, and we're all willing to help you in any way we can to find information for you and lend you support.

[Gabe Puratekuta]

That's right. We'll give any help to you that we can

[Chukchi Husky]

I tried my hardest at school, and that got me nowhere. When I went to Connexions a few months ago they never mentioned anything about apprenticeships, and they also said I won't be able to get a job around where I live because I'm "overqualified". When I went to the RNIB in Bristol to meet someone from Learn Direct (I think) they said that because of the education system, I won't be able to do anything.

[Selena]

Reasons, reasons. Please, Husky, we're not going to be able to turn your life around for you. Take Vet's advice and seek help from qualified people who actually know about the British education and work systems. Because there aren't many Brits here, and the rest of won't necessarily know how to get you back on track.

You're the only one that can help yourself. So I suggest you go out and do so unless you WANT to be stuck where you are for the rest of your life.

[Chukchi Husky]

I thought Connexions knew about the education system, since they work with it and tell students what they should do after they finish school.

[Selena]

As I don't live in Britain, I don't know who they are, but surely they can't be the only source to go to when you need some assistance or guidance. Try Vet's suggestion or someplace else if one place can't help you.

[Jaina]

Husky..all I am hearing as usual for you is excuses..excuses..do you think THAT is going to get you ANYWHERE IN LIFE? In order to EVER change your life from the shit hole you are currently sitting in (i mean that is unhappiness and depression you seem to have) is to get off your lazy arse and actually DO somethinga bout it! I have told you this over, and over, and over and over. If you want to change your life and make it better you have to at least make an attempt at it! Answer me..do you REALLY want to? From the way you are talking no..you really dont. It almost appears like you LIKE your pity pot.


I will suggest for the 5th time I think..a job! I posted you a GREAT list once of all the resturants where you live, you have to start somewhere. Believe me with your lack of finishing a degree you arent over qualified for a job in a resturant. As for councelling I think you need it, because yeah you have less of a self esteem then me..and that is scary. You got to wake up one day and realize that nobody here on LA or at your house is EVER going to get you out of that life, you cant expect people to walk you the whole way, you are 18 now right? You need to cut off that damn leash your family has on you and take action for yourself. That is the only way you are ever going to change your life!


I realized that myself actually not that long ago..i cant expect a boy to come falling into my arms and fall in love..and I cant expect my mom to find me a better job then the one I am in. I hate my job..but you know..until I take action myself and find another one then I am going to have to sit in it until then. I am 20 years old and I have to grow up some more myself. I still rely on my parents for quite a bit...but you know I am and adult as are you. Now just answer that simple question..do you really want to change or are you content living at home with no job, little education, and yeah..relying on your parents for every single thing until you grow old and die? And believe me..women are not turned on by a man living at home when he is 30

[Chukchi Husky]

I don't know if I will be able to get a job A reesturant would probably want someone with some social skills, and I have almost none, unless they want a cleaner, probably what I'll end up being for the rest of my life if I'm lucky. My parents said that once I left school I will have to ggo find a job and move out, but when I failed, they never did. I think they expect me to do something better (they think I failed because of my poor eyesight). They probably don't think I have any problems, or because I'm so quiet and out of the way that they don't notice. I can't tell them anything because I'm too scared of them.

I don't have a lack of finishing a degree, I have a lack of starting one because of how the English education system works.

I don't know what councelling is. I never had self esteem. School tried to improve that, but it never worked.

I know no one is going to help me in life. If I ask anyone they will either ignore me, bully me or tell me how great my life is compared to someone living in the real world. I guess I just have to learn to be a lone wolf.

Even if I do get a job I won't be able to move out. Housing in Bath is either for university students (a fifth of the population in Bath is university students), or is too expensive (Bath is the second most expensive place to live in Britain). I won't be able to move anywhere else, because I have no way to get anywhere else. I'll never be able to drive because my eyesight is too poor and nothing can be done about it unless it becomes worse. I could walk, but I don't know for how long. Even if there was somewhere else, I still have to leave home, and I can't do that as it will get me into trouble. I tried a few times, and I got punished for it.

I guess I made it worse by writing more excuses.

[Jaina]

Yes..you did state more excuses.


Well you know..housing might be expensive but I would recommend yeah..getting a job in a resturant and saving your money for a year or so..(while living at home) and then yeah..moving somewhere else. I am sure if you secured a job..say in London then yeah..your parents would drive you there or put you on a train to move into an apartment there >.> (I know it is expensive to live there) but until then. Get a counselor..(they are like a physicatrist but dont prescribe medicine and..listen to your problems and give you advice on how to help you) You really need one Husky they could help you with your self esteem issues and maybe help you find a path that will work for you.


If not..ask your college it's rules on your age..dont let you parents do it for you..do it yourself, you never know your parents might not be asking the right questions, only you really know what to ask because it is your life and your mind so you know what you are capable of fully in the learning department your parents only know what you tell them

[Chukchi Husky]

I did check the college's prospectus. The courses they offered there are mostly art subjects that require a portfolio, simple computer courses (learn how to type kind of things), and things like metalworking and car mechanics.

[Jaina]

You know..unless you are willing to start over on something else you arent going to get anywhere

[Chukchi Husky]

I don't like the idea of being a car mechanic.

[wisp]

Sometimes people have to take jobs they don't like just until they can get back on their feet and find something better.

[Chukchi Husky]

It's not just a job, it's what I can learn at college.