288 replies to this topic

[Korhend]

Also, going with a slutty girl seems a no-no

[arunma]

Also, going with a slutty girl seems a no-no

I don't know. Of all the things Samson did (touching a dead animal, cutting his hair, etc.), he didn't seem to get punished for the thing with the girl.

Oh by the way Steve, Nazarenes and Nazirites are two completely separate things. In fact, Nazirites don't have to maintain their vows forever. The Torah specifically states that a Nazirite can choose to end his vow at a time of his choosing, though he has to go through a ritual in order to end the vow. Acts records Paul paying the Temple tax for several Jewish Christians to finish their Nazirite vows.

[SteveT]

Yeah, I know. When did I make it seem otherwise?

Sidenote: I love bringing up the Nazarite vows against people who say it's a sin for men to have long hair.

[Nevermind]

I wish I'd have known that one at our school. Although I have the feeling one of my friends tried that but failed...

It was a full-on Christian school too, but I guess they were worried more about their outside image.

[arunma]

Yeah, I know. When did I make it seem otherwise?

Sidenote: I love bringing up the Nazarite vows against people who say it's a sin for men to have long hair.

While I don't think it's a sin to have long hair (I interpret the verse from 1 Corinthians to be talking about headcoverings rather than hair), you may want to be careful with that one. Jesus himself pointed out that in the days of wandering, the high priest desecrated the Most Holy Place of the Tabernacle by entering it once a year. In other words, some "sins" are permissible depending on the circumstance under which they are performed. For example, looking at a naked woman who isn't your wife is generally considered a sin, but no one would suggest that the medical practice of gynecology is sinful. By the same token, if we were to say that it is sinful for men to wear long hair (presumably on the grounds that it's a form of cross-dressing), that would still not make the hair-cutting prohibition of the Nazirite vow sinful.

Again, I don't think there's anything wrong with long hair. In fact, I find it legalistic (i.e. it'd make Paul puke) for Christians to say that men can't wear long hair. This is more an issue of forming the right argument.

[SteveT]

The problem though, is I don't really see what Paul said about long hair as a doctrinal statement. It really seemed like a "well duh" kind of cultural thing to me.

And I agree that it's legalistic. Plus, Judeo-Christian morality is very rarely that arbitrary and petty.

[Alakhriveion]

Judeo-Christian morality is very rarely arbitrary and petty.

Cursed be he who spills his
upon the dusty ground
God will make him pay
for each sperm that can't be found!

[SteveT]

With the survival rate of nomadic desert tribes, God just wanted to make sure his followers didn't die out.

[arunma]

Another quote from the book of Exegesis, right?

[SteveT]

Oh yeah

[arunma]

And I'm guessing it comes right after the verse that says "I the LORD hate fags."

[SteveT]

No, that's not until the New Testament. (And isn't it the Book of Eisegesis? Granted, this one is closer to exe- than eise- than, for instance, the LORD hates fags)

But if you have a reason that doesn't make God sound petty and arbitrary, I'd like to hear it.

Seriously, how many close calls have the Jews had as a culture? They can't afford to spill any seed, and an omniscient God knows that.

[arunma]

Careful now, some of the lonely gentiles in here might start looking upon the beautiful Jewish women with lust...which is a SIN!

[SteveT]

One of these days I'm gonna write a Book of Eisegesis.

The chapter on women is gonna be the best part.

[arunma]

Let me guess: "When you enter into the land of Canaan, you shall remember that on the sixth day, the LORD your God created woman. And so you shall take for yourself six concubines from among the tribes of Amalek. Do not place tooth-whitening gel in eyes. I am the LORD."

[SteveT]

lol, I'm not that far yet, but that is an idea....

behold my progress:

Disclaimer: the following text is not meant to be read by anyone who might take offense. This applies retroactively.

Disclaimer part two: This is a parody

The Book of Eisegesis

Chapter 1

1 All actions in the preceding text are given as examples of proper behavior for a servant of God.
2 All of them.

Chapter 2

1 I the Lord your God hate fags.

Chapter 3

1 Women are an abomination unto the Lord.  2 Let not the examples of the God of Abraham and his son Jesus sway you.  3 Lo, for the Lord appointed Deborah to lead his people, entered the world through a woman's womb, and when resurrected appeared first to his mother and Mary Magdeline, 4 But is it not written: "Women, be silent in the Church?"  5 Did not Eve first bite the apple, then trick Adam into breaking his vow with the Lord?  6 Verily, women are an abomination and not to be trusted.

7 If you must lie with a woman, thou must not enjoy it.  8 Thou must instead choose a position of mild discomfort for you and your wife and through the whole time imagine the sound of a crying infant, 9 or the hopes of a child is the only goal of intercourse.  Thou must not catch they seed in a net of any kind, 10 for that seed shall inevitably be spilt, which is an abomination unto the Lord much akin to women.

11 Do not have relations with any woman but your wife, 12 for it is bad enough you sleep with her.

13 A man shall keep his hair short and well trimmed.  Otherwise, his countenance shall be like that of a woman, which is an abomination unto the Lord.

14 Likewise, a man shall not partake in pleasures of the flesh with another man, for in doing so his sexual preference becomes like that of a woman, which is an abomination unto the Lord.  15 Nor shall a woman become attracted to other women and try to entice them, for it is bad enough men are attracted to her.

[Alakhriveion]

I feel more repressed already!

[Nevermind]

Sounds like the makings for a 14th century Dominican monk.





Or the KKK.

[SteveT]

That reminds me:

Chapter Four

1 Thou shalt vote Republican, for the Sacred Elephant represents the true party of the Lord.  2 In the event that the Republican candidate suggests not war and tax breaks for the rich, 3 then the party which does becometh the true party of the Lord your God.