We apologize for the presidential interruption during last weeks regularly scheduled programming. Without further ado, we will now re-air the episode that was scheduled to premiere last week. Thank you, and we are sorry for any inconvenience that occurred last week.
The Young and the Breastless
The Nadir Experiment
Season 4, Episode 8
Morning
The birds begin to chirp outside, and slowly, our housemates begin to wake up at around 6, as usual. Chik is the first to crawl out of bed, and walks down the hall to head downstairs. She passes by her housemate’s rooms, and see that both are still fairly motionless, to her chagrin. But, things are not boring for long. She is greeted to the sound of the phone ringing.
She rapidly heads for the phone and picks it up, wondering who could be calling at such an early hour.
CHIK
Hello?
CALLER
Guess who!
CHIK
...Frenchy!
CALLER
Damn it, woman, don’t call me that!
CHIK
Fine, fine. Hello Veteran. To what do we owe the pleasure?
VETERAN
Just got a surprise for you, that’s all!
CHIK
Is this going to be kinky?
VETERAN
Hah! We’ll see! You and the other prisoners are invited down to the community pool. Some of us LAers are here to visit!
CHIK
You did, did you? What time you want us down there?
VETERAN
Doesn’t matter really. How’s about around lunch time?
CHIK
Sounds good to me!
VETERAN
So how goes things in that house of yours?
CHIK
Hot and heavy as always.
VETERAN
You and Lena been makin’ out yet?
CHIK
(blushes a bit)
Yeah right. She’s not that lucky.
VETERAN
Whatever you say, Chik! Anyway, I gotta run. See you at noon!
CHIK
See ya!
She hangs up the phone and then heads back upstairs. She enters Lena’s room first, where the other girl is still wrapped up in blankets, not wanting to get up. Chik kicks the side of her bed, causing what feels like a small earthquake. Lena groans.
SELENA
(grumbling)
Whaaat do you want?
CHIK
We have been invited to the pool!
SELENA
Ugh, not by that perverted blonde lemon, I hope.
CHIK
Nope. By Vet!
SELENA
Who let preacher man in town?
She starts to pull the covers back over her head, but Chik sits down and wrestles with her until Lena finally gives up and pays attention.
CHIK
He brought some of the LA guys, apparently. They wanna hang out. We’re headin’ down there at lunchtime, so wake up!
SELENA
Five minutes.
CHIK
No, now! Come on, get moving! By the way, using your shower again.
SELENA
(sigh)
What am I supposed to do?
CHIK
You can always share.
SELENA
Yeah, shivering in the back of the shower while you steal the hot water sounds like a REAL kinky fun time. No thanks.
CHIK
Bah, go use mine, then.
SELENA
Yours apparently has a problem. Tell you what. Go wake up Toan, and while you’re doing that, I’ll shower quick. Then you can have it.
CHIK
Fine, fine, fine. But don’t waste all the hot water.
SELENA
Yes, ma’am.
CHIK
There’s that obedient nature I love.
Chik plants a quick kiss on Lena’s forehead, and Lena scrunches up her face in annoyance. She crawls out of bed and goes to shower while Chik heads down the hall to wake up Toan. She opens up the door to his room, and jumps up on his bed.
CHIK
Wake up, fishy!
TOAN
Whassat? What’s going on? Are we in trouble?
CHIK
Far from it! We’re going to go paaar-tay!
TOAN
(becoming rapidly alert)
Party? What party?
CHIK
Vet’s brought the LA crew to town, and we’re going down to the pool to see ‘em.
TOAN
All right! Sweet! C’mere!
Toan sits up, grabs Chik by the midriff, and drags her down into bed with him. He begins to kiss her, and eventually shows that he wants a liiiiittle more than making out. But, before things can progress, she shrugs him off and gets out of bed, offering him and apologetic look.
CHIK
Sorry. Don’t feel like it.
TOAN
Don’t feel like it? You wanna screw more than ~I~ do! Are you sick? Are you ill? Oh god, you’re dying aren’t you? Chikky!
CHIK
I’m not dying, I just don’t feel like it all right? Got some things on my mind. That’s all.
TOAN
Oh…
Chik exits the room, pondering on whether her relationship with Lena is stronger than her relationship with Toan. She exits with a sigh, and Toan is overcome by his own thoughts. Had she found out about his MASTER PLAN? How could she? This was going to be horrible if she already knew! Curses!
Chik enters Lena’s room after Lena’s gotten out of the shower, towel wrapped around herself.
SELENA
There, there should be plenty of hot water left for you, your highness.
CHIK
Thank you, peon. Now strip for my amusement.
SELENA
...Get in the shower, twirp.
CHIK
Bah! Prude!
Chik enters the bathroom and takes a shower, giving Lena her privacy while she dresses. Toan takes a shower in his own room at the same time, and he heads downstairs to play some video games. Lena finishes dressing by the time Chik’s done with her shower, and the hobbit heads back to her own room to dress.
The two girls meet up in the hallway again after exiting their rooms, and stare each other down.
SELENA
What?
CHIK
What what?
SELENA
Do my looks amuse you?
CHIK
Your looks do something, all right. Love the wet hair look.
SELENA
Bah, you would. And I’m sure the other LAers would just love to know what’s been going on in this house in the last few days.
CHIK
No, no! You can’t tell them! Imagine how many lemon jokes we’d get if they actually found out!
SELENA
You tell Toan yet?
CHIK
Well...
SELENA
Lucyyy?
CHIK
Fine, no, I haven’t! I can’t break his little fishy heart. But I did refuse to screw him just now! There’s always that.
SELENA
Aw, you love me more.
CHIK
No, I lust you more.
SELENA
If you say so.
CHIK
Must you be so difficult?
SELENA
Always.
CHIK
Then perhaps it’s time that you be punished.
Chik glares, but after a moment, she shoves Lena back into her room and kicks the door closed behind her.
Downstairs, after about an hour, Toan gets bored playing video games by himself, and wonders where the other two have gotten to. He looks up to the ceiling, and shouts.
TOAN
LENA! Come down here and play Halo with me!
SELENA
Coming!
Ignoring whatever doubling meaning that might have, Toan resumes his game without a second thought.
