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[Toan]

The Young and the Breastless

The Nadir Experiment

Season 4, Episode 6

Late Evening

Lena is having a dream. Really, more of a nightmare, perhaps. Lena was walking through a misty hall, and out from the mist came... their male maid. He was dressed in a fine, purple tux, and he beckoned Lena to come to him. Harps began to play in the background, and a heavenly choir starting singing from wherever they were hiding. And then, before anything could happen, Lena woke up in a cold sweat.

SELENA

Omgwtf.

Just then, Lena hears someone rummaging around her room, and she spring up out of bed instantly, fearing the worst. There, flipping on the lights, she sees Chik, holding a towel. Chik looks a little shocked.

CHIK

Don’t scare me like that, you lemon!

SELENA

What in the HELL are you doing in here?

CHIK

I want to take a bath.

SELENA

...what?

CHIK

What what?

SELENA

You have your own bath in your room. Get out!

CHIK

But, Lena, yours is better!

SELENA

It’s a TUB, who cares?

CHIK

Me, that’s who.

SELENA

Oh, fine. Just don’t try and drag me in there with you.

CHIK

Hmph! You’d be so lucky!

Lena falls back into bed and tries to go to sleep while Chik enters Lena’s bathroom and starts to strip down and take her bath. She too, feeling as if she’ll never go to sleep at this rate, decides she should just get ready for the day. Even though the ‘day’ was still hours and hours away.

Not wanting to share a bath with the hobbit, Lena heads out into the hall, where she finds Toan.

Toan conjures fish out from thin air, perhaps some latent power of his, and drops them all into the fish tank in the hallway.

SELENA

Wanted to be around your own kind, eh?

TOAN

Yup! Hey, what are you doing up? It’s late!

SELENA

I should ask the same thing.

TOAN

Couldn’t sleep.

SELENA

Ditto.

TOAN

Well where you goin’?

SELENA

I wanna take a bath.

TOAN

Don’t you have one in your room?

SELENA

There’s a girl in there.

TOAN

Lena! KINKY!

SELENA

Your girlfriend.

TOAN

...WHAT?

SELENA

She stole my bath, she and I weren’t making out! Sheesh! Sorry!

TOAN

Oh! Well… that’s okay, then. Apology accepted.

SELENA

Ta, fish.

Lena retreats to Chik’s room, where she climbs into Chik’s bath. Toan looks around, lost, and wants to take a shower. But, both bathrooms are occupied! He sighs and waits, and figures that by now, Chik has surely finished.

He runs into Lena’s bathroom, where a still very naked Chik is lying down in the tub. He stares, shocked, and blushes wildly. Chik tilts her head back, not really caring, and wonders what his problem is. After all, he’d already seen her nekkid before.

CHIK

What’s with you?

TOAN

...Boobies.

CHIK

Very good, Toan. Yes, that’s what they are.

TOAN

Mmmm.

CHIK

(sigh)

Not now!

She climbs out of the tub, drains it, and leaves Toan there by himself, although he’s still as motionless as a statue. She gets dressed, and then Toan finally snaps back to reality, and uses the tub himself.

Chik goes to Toan’s room and watches TV for a bit, before both she and Lena head downstairs to eat some of the cold pizza leftover from earlier. By the time they finish, Toan heads back downstairs, now dressed, and starts to eat some of the last slices.

Chik heads to the study to read more on cooking, and Lena heads to the computer to continue writing her novel. Toan, after finishing, starts to paint.

About an hour later, Lena sits down and plays chess. With herself. The other two stare.

CHIK

Uh... aren’t you missing something?

SELENA

Huh?

CHIK

Lena, do you want me to play chess with you?

SELENA

No, why?

TOAN

Er, well, you’re playing with yourself.

SELENA

...

CHIK

...

TOAN

You know what I mean, dammit!

SELENA

I can manage!

TOAN

Allllrighty, then.

An hour passes. Lena’s bored.

SELENA

We should head downtown today.

CHIK

Outside? There are bears out there.

TOAN

And fishhooks.

SELENA

I meant to the pool, fish. You’d certainly like that, right?

TOAN

Woohoo, water! Swim, swim, swim! All day long.

CHIK

Sounds all right to me. It opens in a little bit, right?

SELENA

At 6 AM, yeah. So lets get in the car and head down there!

CHIK

I’ll drive!

SELENA

Lord help us all.

-------

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-------

[Selena]

Morning

Chik drives the other two down to the community pool, where they immediately leave the car and head towards the bathrooms to change into their bathing suits.

[/size]

As Lena heads into the women's section, a tall leggy blonde sees her approach and smiles.

BLONDE WOMAN

Hey there.

SELENA

Hi?

BLONDE WOMAN

Never seen you around here before. My name's Trista.

SELENA

Uh... I'm Selena. Nice to meet you, I guess?

TRISTA

Indeed! So, you new here in town?

SELENA

Yeah, my friends and I moved in about a week ago.

TRISTA

(eyes Lena up and down)

Well, that's great.

SELENA

Um.. yeah.

Selena cautiously undresses, albeit uncomfortable with that... other woman next to her, WATCHING INTENTLY, but gets into her bathing suit regardless.

In the meantime, Chik follows Toan into the men's section, but they're ambushed by another girl!

WOMAN

Hi, guys!

TOAN

Uh, why are you in the men's room?

WOMAN

Oh, I just left something in here from earlier. Sorry!

TOAN

Yeah, okay.

She stares. They wait.

CHIK

Shouldn't you erm, leave now?

WOMAN

And you?

CHIK

Shush.

WOMAN

(holds hand out to Toan, who reluctantly shakes it)

I'm Jessica. And you are?

TOAN

Nervous.

JESSICA

What?

TOAN

Erm, I'm Toan!

JESSICA

Interesting name. Well, aren't you going to change into your trunks?

TOAN

Um, maybe if I had some privacy?

JESSICA

Not much of an exhibitionist, eh? Alas.

CHIK

Hey, I think someone's calling for you.

JESSICA

Hm?

CHIK

Outside. Heard your name.

JESSICA

That's strange. Hmm.

She leaves, and Chik and Toan change into their swim suits. After changing, Toan takes a peek outside.

TOAN

We should go warn Lena about that psycho.

CHIK

Good idea.

They head over to the women's section, where they see Lena trying to slink away from a blonde woman getting FAR TOO close to Lena's personal bubble.

TRISTA

(leaning close to Lena)

So, would you like to get something to drink, Selena?

SELENA

(looks to left, and sees Toan)

FISH! Oh, nice to see you again, Toan!

TRISTA

Who's HE?

TOAN

Uh... um... Hi! I'm from the FBI. Underwear inspector. Let's see the goods, ladies!

SELENA

(under breath)

Wtf, fish.

TRISTA

Excuse me?!

Selena takes this time to escape, leaving Toan to the blonde devil. Like fleeing gunfire, Lena dives straight into the pool, and Chik, seeing her escape, follows. However, before Chik dives in, she sees the diving board, and freezes. She takes a deep breath, overcome with fear.

SELENA

What's with you?

CHIK

Nothing.

SELENA

Well, start swimmin' then. It's hot outside. Cool off.

CHIK

No, I'm good.

SELENA

So you'd rather stand up there and stare at me?

CHIK

Uh huh.

SELENA

...You're scared of the water, aren't you?

CHIK

SHUT UP!

SELENA

Aww, the mighty hobbit's afraid to get her furry feet wet!

CHIK

I just... don't like the diving board.

SELENA

Wussy!

CHIK

I swear I'm going to hurt you.

SELENA

(swims around)

[size=2]
[/size]

[size=2][size=2]Can't hurt me if you're too afraid to get close enough to do so.

[/size][/size]

Edited by Selena, 10 February 2006 - 11:00 PM.

[Toan]

CHIK

FINE!

Chik climbs onto the diving board, slowly at first, then with renewed determination as she hears Selena laughing from below. She jumps and does a belly flop, causing Lena to laugh even louder. Chik swims back to the surface and glares at her.

Toan finally comes running out of the changing rooms, Trista nowhere to be found. He does, however, run into another female.

WOMAN

Hi there! You new?

TOAN

Hive minds, these women have. Erm, yes, I’m new.

RENEE

I’m Renee. Nice to meet you!

Trista walks up behind Toan, now in her bikini, and dives into the pool after spotting Lena. The three women swim for a while, Lena keeping far away from the creepy blonde.

TRISTA

You two are cute.

CHIK/LENA

...

TOAN

(flailing arms)

Chik! Help!

CHIK

Let’s go to the hot tubs!

The couple flees, leaving Lena all alone with the strange women. However, Lena is happy to see that after a moment, Trista gets up out of the pool and walks over towards the hot tubs, where Toan and Chik are now relaxing.

And, for some unknown and completely STRANGE reason, Trista REMOVES her bikini and climbs into the hot tub in nothing but her birthday suit! Toan’s jaw drops and he stares in awe, while Chik just raises and eyebrow and edges away from her.

TRISTA

(to Toan)

So... what do you like to do for fun around here?

TOAN

Um, ah… heh, I…

CHIK

(wraps an arm around Toan)

WE like to screw. Right Toan? Feel like screwing?

TOAN

(thinking)

BEST DAY OF MY LIFE EVER.

TRISTA

Um, right here?! In a public place?!

CHIK

Well, sure! I mean, I’ve got nothing to hide. And apparently, neither do you, but hey, that’s your business. Toan. Sex. Now.

TOAN

Y-yes’m…

Trista gets out of the tub, disgusted and still naked, and goes off to find her bathing suit while the couple starts to do the dirty deed.

Selena, however, has noticed a good looking man wandering along the edge of the pool, and they make eye contact. Lena smirks.

MAN

Hey.

SELENA

Hey.

MAN

Never seen you before.

SELENA

Nope. New. You look bored.

MAN

Definitely.

SELENA

Wanna swim for a while then?

MAN

(eyes Lena up and down)

Yeah, all right. The name’s Matt.

SELENA

Lena.

MATT

Well, nice to meet ya’, Lena.

The two swim laps, racing sometimes, for a little while, and the Lena decides it’s time for things to warm up. No, not in THAT way. She climbs out of the pool, and heads towards the sauna. She turns to face Matt, and motions for him to follow. He does, more than willingly.

--------

Barry Manilow’s wardrobe now available from BenderHatesEveryone.com

---------

Midday

Lena and Matt enter the sauna and relax for a while Chik and Toan are otherwise.. occupied.

MATT

So, Lena, you just came to town?

SELENA

Yup. Two other people and I bought a house a week ago.

MATT

Well, good! Always nice to see more people in this tiny ass town of ours.

SELENA

(eyes him, and then winks)

Yeah, nice to see the locals too.

MATT

(looking nervous)

Heh, yeah.

Selena hears Chik giggling and telling Toan to ‘stop’ whatever it is he’s doing, and given the tone of her voice, she... probably didn’t really want him to stop whatever he was doing.

Just then, Lena maliciously grins and raises and eyebrow. She turns back to Matt, and rests her hands on his leg.

SELENA

Say, Matt, did you notice my other housemate? The girl with the short brown hair?

MATT

Yeah, what about her?

SELENA

Well, it’s just that she’s recently gotten out of a horrible relationship with a rotten guy, and, well… she doesn’t have much self-esteem anymore. She thinks she’s ugly.

MATT

Nah, she was good lookin’!

SELENA

Yes, you know that. Toan knows that. I… think I know that. But she doesn’t know that! So I was hoping you could give her a self-esteem boost, if you’d be willing.

MATT

Oh? What’d you have in mind?

SELENA

Well, you could just go over to her and give her a peck on the lips and tell her that she’s absolutely beautiful!

MATT

She… won’t be creeped out by that?

SELENA

Not at all!

MATT

Well, if you insist…

Matt heads out of the sauna and towards Chik and Toan (now done with what they were doing), and Lena follows behind, eyes wide and a grin on her face. Trista sees the two approach, and not wanting to be left out, she walks a bit closer to them to watch whatever was going to happen.

As Chik climbs out of the tub, Matt kisses her on the mouth, and Toan shrieks in shock! Chik shoves Matt away.

CHIK

What the hell?!

TOAN

YOU’RE DEAD, ASSHOLE!

Toan, feeling betrayed by Chik, and angry with this new guy, races towards him and sends a punch towards his face. Matt steps to the side and proceeds to give Toan the beating of a lifetime. The girls all flinch with each blow, although Trista seems entertained enough by the pain.

Toan limps away, angry and bitter. Chik turns to Lena.

CHIK

What the hell was that about?

SELENA

I have no idea!

CHIK

Who is that guy?

SELENA

Just some dude wandering around the place, I don’t know.

CHIK

That’s, just… ugh!

MATT

Ha! Thought you could take me on, did you, punk? What a joke!

TOAN

That’s IT.

Toan turns on his heel, ready for round two. Toan then kicks Matt’s ass, fueled by anger and rage. A whistle goes off, and finally the staff members come towards them with an angry look on their faces. Chik and Lena grab Toan, and their clothes, and run towards their car. Chik and Toan fall into the car while Lena climbs in the driver’s seat. They speed away, back to their house.

Once inside, they change back into their regular clothes and try to relax a bit. Chik goes to play the piano, and Toan inspects the disco room, and scoffs as he finds the DJ booth turned on. Damn that housemaid!

Lena goes to look through the telescope, perhaps trying to hopelessly search for Smith, and Toan struggles to turn of the DJ booth, but gives up, considering it to have a mind of it’s own.

Lena, making herself some lunch, sits down to eat. But then, Vidcund, the neighbor that Chik hit on several days ago, storms into the house, very angry. He stands behind Selena and STARES, and finally, she turns around and stands up.

SELENA

Who let you in here?

VIDCUND

BITCH!

He shoves her and starts to yell obscene things, and then leaves as quickly as he came, muttering to himself over god knows what.

SELENA

Wtf!

Selena shrugs, and she and Toan have a training session with the punching bag, hoping to improve Toan’s skillz. Chik reads for a bit, and then decides to start dinner after writing in her diary about the day’s events.

--------

Vandelay Industries hires well-qualified candidates in a variety of fields. Ethics and Dress code requires a puffy shirt and the ability to be Master of Your Domain™.

---------

Evening

Chik serves dinner after cooking for a while, and everyone eagerly munches it down, complimenting her on her now much better cooking abilities. The phone, however, interrupts the meal and Chik goes to answer it.

CHIK

I swear, if this is Pascal, I’m going to-

CALLER (MATT)

What? No, no! This is Matt. From the pool. Is Lena there?

CHIK

Get. Lost. Asshat.

She hangs up the phone with a growl, causing the other two to jump to an alert state.

SELENA

Who was it? Pascal?

CHIK

No!

SELENA

Then?

CHIK

No one!

SELENA

Jeesus! All right.

TOAN

So, what do you guys want to do for the evening?

SELENA

I dunno, but I’ve got some more energy to burn off.

SELENA

(thinking)

And more rotten tricks to play!

CHIK

We could go downtown again. Hit up one of the clubs.

SELENA

Sounds good to me. Fish, you know how to dance?

TOAN

Like I came right out of Saturday Night Fever, baby!

Both girls roll their eyes, but they all head down to one of the clubs – known as THE HUB. It’s pretty quiet for that night, but Toan and Chik are quick to head out onto the dance floor. Lena, however, heads to the bar and orders a drink.

While Lena is enjoying her alcohol, another woman approaches her and shoves her.

WOMAN

WHOOOOOOREEEEE!!!

SELENA

Wtf, bitch!

WOMAN

YOU HIT ON MY HUSBAND! I CAUGHT HIM TRYING TO CALL YOU!

SELENA

Seriously, wtf!

WOMAN

I’m Margaret Howe!

SELENA

The millionare’s wife from Gilligan’s Island?

MARGARET

No, the wife of Matt Howe!

SELENA

Wife?! Wtf!

MARGARET

You whore!

Selena rolls her eyes and flings the drink in Margaret’s face.

SELENA

Get lost, Marge.

BARKEEP

Hey, you girls can’t fight in here!

SELENA

Listen, ass, I’ll fight who I—

Chik runs up to Lena and drags her away, not wanting a repeat of what happened earlier that day. Once outside, the two corner Lena.

CHIK

Calm down!

SELENA

I am calm!

TOAN

We’re just gonna head home. We’ll try clubbin’ later on, maybe.

SELENA

Bah. Wives. Fine.

The housemates head home, where they climb into bed and fall into deep sleep.

END DAY 6

[ninja kitten]

wowie... things are gettin rough in paradise...

[Chikara Nadir]

...I'm such an exhibitionist. x.x At least I have a cute bikini! ^^ (And the body to show it off. The filming crew must have airbrushed it to look like that before putting it on the air. *nods*)

[31-Year-Old-From-Georgia]

(Chik)
Toan. Sex. Now.

...that's going into my sig.

Edited by Go FF, 11 February 2006 - 11:31 AM.

[Rhiannon]

No kidding x.x. This is getting to be more than PG13.

I love that picture of Lena in front of the furnace thing... haha.

Lena should have kicked that blonde's butt.

All in all... you guys have a lot of horomone build up.

[Veteran]

Good to see Lena getting some revenge. And the plotting kind of revenge too. Excellent!


But come ooooon! I thought everyone who had The Sims had that naked hack!

[Rhiannon]

Why would you actually want to see the sims naked...?

[Chikara Nadir]

Vet. I never knew you so well.... o_o

[Toan]

Everytime I film an episode I feel like I'm intruding upon something indecent as it is! No need to make it worse! XP

[31-Year-Old-From-Georgia]

Vet. I never knew you so well.... o_o

Except when you had sex with him, of course.

He was a possibility of being the father of Lena, Toan, and nyc.

[Veteran]

You mean when she drugged me and raped me.

[wisp]

Psh, they don't admit that I'm in this family. I didn't even make it into the soap opera!

[Veteran]

I want to know who we have to bribe to actually get an appearance in this shindig.

[wisp]

Yeah, really. Am I going to have to sleep with someone?

[Toan]

o.o Yes.

[Veteran]

Really?


Toan. Sex. Now.

[Rhiannon]

Haha, nice.. does this mean Vetty's in?

I've been trying to get Toany to add you too Nyc!

[31-Year-Old-From-Georgia]

Vet wins the thread.