The Young and the Breastless
The Nadir Experiment
Season 4, Episode 4
Morning
It is Day 4, but just barely. Lena, shaken by Toan’s infidelity, is unable to sleep properly. She gives up on trying to sleep and gets out of bed at four in the morning. She heads into her bathroom and soaks in the tub for an hour and, having heard Lena shuffle around the house, the other housemates rise at about five AM.
Chik gets dressed and heads downstairs to prepare breakfast. Toan follows after her after finishing his morning routine, and starts setting the table and cleaning up a bit before Chik places the meal on the table. Things are a bit tense, and few words are exchanged.
Lena, clean and dressed, descends into the study and begins to write in her diary (shut up, viewers).
SELENA
(voice over while writing in diary)
“Dear Diary,There are many things I’ve learned now that I’ve been forced to be more social. I’ve learned that the company of others was, as I predicted, a bother. Why on Earth did I think this would be a good idea? Ah, yes, that large sum of money I was offered to be on air, but I digress. Seeing how Chik and Toan behave in ‘real life’ is sickening! Deceitful little twats, the both of them. If Toan wanted to see her instead of me, he should have had the balls (he should considering he has three) to tell me up front.”
CHIK
(from the kitchen)
Lena! Breakfast is ready!
SELENA
In a minute.
SELENA
(resumes writing)
“I’m not sure how angry I should be at Chik. For some reason, I’m not as angry with her as I am with Toan. I suppose I should just screech ‘whore!!!’ at the top of my lungs whenever I see her, but that might strain my voice. Both, of course, will get theirs in the end. If not from me beating them up, then karma will certainly find a way.”Selena closes her diary and tucks it away for safe keeping. She then heads to the kitchen, where the others have been eating for at least ten minutes. She sits down and fixes herself a plate. Toan, feeling uncomfortable with the silence, attempts a conversation.
TOAN
So, uh, Lena, what were ya writin’?
CHIK
She was pouring all her emotions down on that girly little diary she keeps. Girly.
LENA
(glare)
CHIK
(coughs)
Sorry.
TOAN
Well, cool. Uh... so how ‘bout that housekeeper guy? Guess he thinks he’s a full time employee, huh?
CHIK
He should learn to knock. Creepy.
SELENA
Regardless of his creepiness, at least we don’t have to clean much. If it’s a service the show is providing, then let the man clean. I sure don’t want to.
TOAN
Amen to that. Heh.
CHIK
You all right, fish?
TOAN
Yeah...
CHIK
Toaaaan?
TOAN
I’m just still sorry about last night, guys!
SELENA
It’s fine, whatever.
TOAN
No, it’s not!
Toan stands up with a glass, and prepares for a toast.
TOAN
I want us all to start over from scratch. Here’s to new beginnings.
Selena and Chik halfheartedly raise their glasses, and they all drink them down. The trio resumes eating their meal and finish, and Toan takes up the task of cleaning up. Chik heads upstairs to pretty herself up, and Lena retreats to the computer to resume work on a piece of writing. During this time, the housekeeper shows up again, and cleans what Toan’s left behind.
Chik returns and practices the piano while Lena continues to write. After some time, the phone rings, disturbing both females. Chik gets up quickly to not cause Lena further disturbance, and answers the phone.
CHIK
Hello?
CALLER
Hello! Is Selena there?
CHIK
(looks back to Lena)
Uh, who’s calling?
Selena turns around, curious. Chik gives her a disgusted look, somehow already knowing.
CALLER
This is Pascal! Is lov- Lena available?
CHIK
Listen, kid, Lena’s outta your league, so go hit on some crack whore downtown, okay?
PASCAL
But, but... !
CHIK
Goodbye!
Chik hangs up the phone roughly. She looks back at Lena, who’s still staring.
SELENA
Pascal?
CHIK
Yup, that’d be the douchebag, all right.
SELENA
Indeed. Thanks for scaring him away.
CHIK
Not a problem, lemon.
Toan heads downstairs after spending some time watching television. Chik greets him as she heads upstairs to take a shower. Feeling the urge to game a little, Toan turns on the console and starts to play one of the snowboarding games that has been left for the guests. Lena, although mad at Toan, sees the game as is interested. She sits down and they start to race each other. It becomes heated, and eventually, Lena pwns him. She cheers.
While upstairs, Chik takes a shower and then gets dressed. After exiting her room, she is greeted to a strange sight. There is a man standing in the hall. He is wearing a shorts and a red shirt, and... has BLUE skin? Wtf!
POLLINATION TECH SMITH
Hello, Earthling.
CHIK
...Iiiiii’ve been drinkin’ too much again.
SMITH
Pardon me?
CHIK
Nuh-uh, byebye. Say hello to Jenova for me.
SMITH
You know the Queen?
CHIK
...
Chik runs downstairs, leaving the alien to himself. She sees Lena sit down at the piano, and as Lena starts to play an up-tempo beat, Chik dances and sings along with her playing. Toan watches and listens, and the two girls definitely get into the number. Losing interest, Toan resumes his game.
Chik looks at Lena, and feels sad again.
CHIK
Lena...
SELENA
Hmm?
Chik hugs her.
CHIK
I’m still sorry.
SELENA
Don’t worry about it. Just don’t go behind my back anymore.
CHIK
Do you want him?
SELENA
No. I can bang other guys. Just let us work things out before you guys do… anything.
CHIK
Girls, you mean. And all right. As you wish.
SELENA
Shut up.
CHIK
I’ll buy you a Playboy to apologize further. Promise.
SELENA
Go play SSX with the fish, dimwit. SSX. The game with no ‘e’ in the middle of the word.
Chik giggles and goes to play snowboarding with the fish.
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Go to Safeway today and get half off on lemonade and lemon meringue pie! Fresh pies, straight from the bakery. Get ‘em while they’re still available!
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