56 replies to this topic

[SOAP]

My Future Wife-to-Be: Boo-yah.
Son of Mario, Bitches: Um, hi?
My Future Wife-to-Be: Fyxe.
Son of Mario, Bitches: Oh really? This should be interesting.
My Future Wife-to-Be: That sounds ominous.
My Future Wife-to-Be: What if it's really boring?
Son of Mario, Bitches: Then it's the woman's fault. It's always the woman's fault.
My Future Wife-to-Be: Oh my, but do you even know what gender I actually am? Never actually *said* either way, you know.
Son of Mario, Bitches: Only a vile woman would try to play sick minds on me. Besides, how you answered Husse's question kinda lead me to believe such.
My Future Wife-to-Be: Which question was that again?
Son of Mario, Bitches: When she asked you if you were a girl. If you were a boy it would have been simpler just to say so.
My Future Wife-to-Be: True, but what if I liked messing with people's heads?
Son of Mario, Bitches: Again, female mind tricks.
My Future Wife-to-Be: For all you know, I could be one of those cute effeminate British guys you mentioned.
My Future Wife-to-Be: I mean, if they *existed*...
Son of Mario, Bitches: Cute effeminate British men aren't smart enough to come up with such an elaborate scheme. They're just they for guys like me to drool over.
Son of Mario, Bitches: Eye candy basically.
My Future Wife-to-Be: *Scratches head* So I'm either an evil bitch or an idiot boy. Gee.
Son of Mario, Bitches: Idiot cute boy. Unless of course you want to fess up and finally tell us the truth.
My Future Wife-to-Be: Ah, but if I said I was a boy, I would no longer be an idiot boy because I would of came up with the evil scheme, no? So eye candy with a brain.
My Future Wife-to-Be: In essence, I can choose to be smart and cute or evil and smart.
Son of Mario, Bitches: Nobodies that perfect.
Son of Mario, Bitches: Surely you can't be one of those things.
My Future Wife-to-Be: Thankfully, male or female, I'm less effeminate than David Beckham.
Son of Mario, Bitches: Oh don't bring that up. That was a retarded post on my part.
My Future Wife-to-Be: And I've got way more hair than him.
My Future Wife-to-Be: Well, I'd describe him more of a 'ponce'.
Son of Mario, Bitches: Stop trying to confuse me with your weird British lingo.
My Future Wife-to-Be: I can't think of an American equivalent.
Son of Mario, Bitches: Pimp.
My Future Wife-to-Be: You need to invent a dumbed down version first.
My Future Wife-to-Be: Pimp? O.o''
Son of Mario, Bitches: Shut up.
Son of Mario, Bitches: Americans aren't dumb.
My Future Wife-to-Be: No, no, you elected Bush because you thought he would be a great leader.
Son of Mario, Bitches: *I* did not vote for him.
My Future Wife-to-Be: A visionary!! Most powerful man on Earth!! The true leader of humanity!! GEORGE FRICKIN' BUSH.
My Future Wife-to-Be: Most of you did.
My Future Wife-to-Be: Scarily.
My Future Wife-to-Be: I never said YOU were dumb. >.>
Son of Mario, Bitches: Yeah. A bunch of old farts. And you said "dumbed down equivalent."
My Future Wife-to-Be: Well, you do have a habit of simplifying language so even a crude language like English becomes closer and closer to caveman talk.
My Future Wife-to-Be: Bring back the grunts, I say.
Son of Mario, Bitches: Bah. We just don't like having needless "u" where they needn't be. It's color dammit!
My Future Wife-to-Be: Do you say it like 'col-ore' or 'col-eur'?
Son of Mario, Bitches: No.
My Future Wife-to-Be: ...That was not one of the options.
Son of Mario, Bitches: That's not how we pronounce it.
My Future Wife-to-Be: I gave two options. How do you pronounce it, then?
Son of Mario, Bitches: I don't know about the first one but the second one sounds too french for my tastes.
My Future Wife-to-Be: It looks French when I write it like that, but it's just the way people say colour. In fact, there's more 'u' sound than an 'o' sound. Should be colur.
My Future Wife-to-Be: Nobody says 'color'.
Son of Mario, Bitches: We pronounce it as an "o" as in "oh"
My Future Wife-to-Be: Coloh?
Son of Mario, Bitches: More like Colohr. Looks weird...
My Future Wife-to-Be: Or, so get the same result...
My Future Wife-to-Be: Colour.
Son of Mario, Bitches: Hush now! At least we have our steering wheels on the correct side of the car.
My Future Wife-to-Be: That's because you drive on the wrong side of the road.
Son of Mario, Bitches: If I'm not mistaken, Ford was an American.
My Future Wife-to-Be: When the first cars were made people had to walk in front of the bloody things for safety.
Son of Mario, Bitches: Yes well... We're just right.

I omitted middle of the convo which was too long and consisted of me gabbing about myself, Fyxe trying to get me to look at furry porn, and me trying to convince Fyxe to finally tell me her true gender which got pretty nasty.

My Future Wife-to-Be: Look, mister, what's this about finding girls hot?
My Future Wife-to-Be: Now I don't know what the hell sexuality you are.
Son of Mario, Bitches: I find them hot because I don't find them hot.
My Future Wife-to-Be: *Puts head in her hands*
Son of Mario, Bitches: HER!
My Future Wife-to-Be: *Scratches his hair*
Son of Mario, Bitches: Dammit.
My Future Wife-to-Be: You're not making sense.
My Future Wife-to-Be: Can't tell ya if you don't make sense.
Son of Mario, Bitches: They're basically uncharted territory to me. It's more of an intellectual interest than a sexual one.
My Future Wife-to-Be: *Raises eyebrow* You make it sound like you've had your fair share of boys.
My Future Wife-to-Be: And if it's intellectual, you know my mind.
My Future Wife-to-Be: I'm not going to tell you my gender. It's irrelevant.
Son of Mario, Bitches: Ah, but gender is part of the mind. Men and women's brain chemistries are completely different and the female mind is far more interesting to me than the male mind.
My Future Wife-to-Be: Didn't you say I was too smart to be a guy?
Son of Mario, Bitches: I said you were too smart to be an effeminate British guy.
My Future Wife-to-Be: Ah.
My Future Wife-to-Be: Well I'm British, I'll tell you that much.
Son of Mario, Bitches: So, would your mind be interesting to me?
My Future Wife-to-Be: I'm also very tired.
My Future Wife-to-Be: You know what?
Son of Mario, Bitches: Bye?
My Future Wife-to-Be: I think I can prove far more interesting to you if I keep you not knowing.
Son of Mario, Bitches: Shut up.
My Future Wife-to-Be: Maybe it'll give you more to think about when it comes to the differences between the male and female minds?
Son of Mario, Bitches: Just go to bloody bed. You'll find part of this convo quoted.

Oh, I threw this part in just because…

Son of Mario, Bitches: By the way, you don't if I'm actually a guy either.
My Future Wife-to-Be: You are SO a guy.
Son of Mario, Bitches: How so?
My Future Wife-to-Be: No girl would have that screenname.
Son of Mario, Bitches: Ah, because I have to be a girl to carry on my dad's name? It could have been just a ploy at first to fend perverted guys from asking me out and then later I just got stuck with the name.
Son of Mario, Bitches: You need to come up with a better reason than that.
My Future Wife-to-Be: Well, you don't type like a typical girl...
Son of Mario, Bitches: Oh, that's actually a good reason. Though, I don't type like a typical guy either. Also, lately I've been "joking around" [img]http://forums.legendsalliance.com/public/ALOT.png[/img] in my typing, pretending to be something I'm not.
My Future Wife-to-Be: Then again I'm not sure if I type like a typical *anything*...
Son of Mario, Bitches: Oh, trust me, you type like the typical trying to act "tough" so guys won't try to take advantage of her online.... not to be condescending or anything...
My Future Wife-to-Be: Or I could just be typing as a typical sarcastic bloke pretending to be a tough bitchy girl.
My Future Wife-to-Be: In any case, I think I could handle anyone trying to 'take advantage' of me online.

Oh yeah, and she never did tell me her true gender. I smell a Jerry Springer episode. Or maybe just an incoming fwap to the head. In either case, I'm not asking her again any time soon.

[Fyxe]

It wasn't that it was furry porn, it was the big closeup of a wang that made the diff. WANG, I say.

Oh yeah...

*Fwap*

[SOAP]

Porn is porn. Unless it's furry, then it's just weird.

[Fyxe]

Oh, yeah, like, bondage, that's just porn, not at *all* weird. No, no, of course not.

[SOAP]

Thou must never speaketh back to thy husband. It's one of the Commandments.

[Zythe]

Wait. Maybe Fyxe's is a hermaphrodite. I don't mean it in an insulting way, but you know, if someone won't confess their gender then maybe you should not be bothering them about it?

And I swore Fyxe was American, but I guess The Land of Tea was a giveaway - India!

[SOAP]

I thought she was Asian when I saw that but when she said she was British, it made sense.

If she is a true hermaphrodite then I'm the biggest jerk on LA. Then again, even if she isn't, I'm still a jerk.

[Fyxe]

You guys didn't know I was British? Sheesh. How many times does one have to say 'bloody'?

[SOAP]

Hey! Hey! Zythe is British and he didn't even know you were British. And what did I say about talking out of turn, woman?

[Fyxe]

*El slap*

[Zythe]

I thought she was British at first, but when she said "we made up pip pip ourselves" I assumed she meant, Americans made it up.

And she doesn't say bloody or shirty nearly enough. Shirty bitch.

[Fyxe]

I said 'I swear Americans made that one up themselves'.

UNTIL THE MOD BLOODY CHANGED IT.

Last edited by Alakhriveion : Yesterday at 12:21 AM. Reason: The British totally say "Pip pip." It's like your version of "Hello." So sayeth Alak. [OMG! Abuse of Mod Power!]

And I say bloody all the time.

Never said shirty though. Not even sure what that means. Stupid Brightoner.

[Zythe]

I don't say it either. But Spike made a big deal about it in Buffy and it's not like they employ any British stereotypes so it must be true.

[Fyxe]

Wait, shirty means like... Mouthy. Or something a bit like that, anyway.

Don't remember Spike saying it that much, anyway.

[SOAP]

*swats Fyxe and Zythe with a Wallace & Gromit doll*

Stop hijacking my thread, Brits!

[Nevermind]

I say bloody all the time >.>

and wanka. I don't say prat, or prig, or twat, or anything, those are purely British.

Although I do say shite and "Fuck me, Tommy, what 'ave you been readin'?"

[Vazor]

I'm not British in the slightest, and I say "bloody" all the time.

[Zythe]

*swats Fyxe and Zythe with a Wallace & Gromit doll*

Stop hijacking my thread, Brits!

*smacks MJ with teacup*

[Vazor]

*sits in a corner and waves an American flag*

[Showsni]

I never say b****y and I'm British. Well, actually I'm English.
Nor do I say shirty.
But we clearly do drive on the correct side of the road. And our spellings are much better.

[Fyxe]

Although, judging by your post, I wouldn't say much in support of our grammar.

[SOAP]

I never say b****y and I'm British. Well, actually I'm English.
Nor do I say shirty.
But we clearly do drive on the correct side of the road. And our spellings are much better.

I thought English and British were the same thing.

[Nevermind]

Well, yeah, it's just that English is more specific. Kind of like being Canadian, and not just North American.

[Fyxe]

If you're English, you come from England. If you're British, you come from either England, Wales, Scotland or Northern Ireland.

Not Southern Ireland though. They want *independant* barren land. >.> To blow up.

Oh the political incorrectness.

[Kwicky Koala]

I'm sure Wales and Scotland prefer to call themselves Welsh and Scottish anyway, since they're only British since we invaded their countries, made them pay taxes and shipped their people to fight pointless wars in France.

I'm doing well at this anti-patriot lark, eh? Jolly good.

[Fyxe]

Well, they do, but around the world sometimes it's just easier to say you're British. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, that's ancient history. I'm English, but despite the British Empire being an oppressive regime I don't want to be involved with, I don't mind being called British. I like the Scots and the Welsh and the Irish and I like being considered as a 'collective' with them. It would be stupid not be just because of what is now something that's quite long gone in history.

[Nevermind]

Except around the world if people can pick up an accent they will say either Irish or Scottish. Except the thing is that a surprising amount of people can't tell the difference between the two.

[Fyxe]

Well, there ARE clear differences between Scottish, Irish, Welsh and English accents.

I can sort of understand how people from other countries get Irish and Scots mixed up, though.

[Nevermind]

I can't tell the difference between Welsh and English, but I can tell between Irish and Scottish.

[Goose]

Most people cant tell the difference between us (Australian) and the Kiwi's (New Zealanders.)