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[DarkJuno]

Floats, singers, and season's greeting's, all on DJ: (N)RR's Coverage of the 88th Annual Station Square Thanksgiving Day Parade!

-introduction in Athens. Obviously, this is all staged and such, but it is still indeed on location in 16th Century Athens, at night, as Sophitia Alexandra is putting her daughter, Pyrrha, to bed...-

Pyrrha: Mom, can't I just stay up a little...
Sophitia: No dear, it's already past your bedtime...look at your brother, he's already in bed...
Pyrrha: -sighs- Fine...Mom?
Sophitia: Yes Pyrrha?
Pyrrha: Can I ask you something?
Sophitia: Of course, what is it?
Pyrrha: Why do we never have parades here? I remember you telling Patroklos and me about them from when you traveled around the world...
Sophitia: Oh dear, you know with the Ottomans being the way they are, there's not much for a reason for a parade right now...
Pyrrha: -sigh- I guess...oh well, good night mom...
Sophitia: Good night sweetie...may the gods watch over you...

-Sophitia kisses Pyrrha on the forehead and gets up, smiling as she leaves. She enters her and her Husband, Rothion's, room-

Rothion: So, did you finally get her to go to bed?
Sophitia: Yes, and you owe me dear. You may be the man, but you know full well...
Rothion: -laughs- Yes, I know, quite well might I add.
Sophitia: -smiles- Well, she just asked me about that parade I told her about from when I was in England in on my journey. I told her with the atmosphere, it's not likely, even with the Soul Edge gone this time.
Rothion: Third time's the charm, right?
Sophitia: Hopefully. Cassandra made me promise to help her out at Mother and Father's bakery tomorrow, so I'd better get to bed...
Rothion: As should I - I've got a long commission to fulfill tomorrow. 'Night Honey...
Sophitia: Good night...

-the two give each other a quick kiss and lay down, blowing out a candle. However, the camera pans in on Sophitia's peaceful face as the word "Parade" begins to echo...-


?????? ?????? ????????? ??: Sophitia..............................Sophitia...........Sophitia?

-the camera fades in, as a now cold weather clad Sophitia is waking up from a collapsed position, his head on a table. She's now in a rather large metropolis surrounded by Christmas decorations and such-

Sophitia: Mmmm? Yes?
Unseen Female Stagehand #2: Mrs. Alexandra! Are you okay?
Sophitia: Gets up and realizes where she is- Wha? How'd I get here?
UFS #2: Uh, you're here in Station Square, now hurry, the show's about to start!
Sophitia: ...show?
UFS #2: Ya'know, the Thanksgiving Day Parade!
Sophitia: Parade?
UPS#2: Yeah! Now hurry down that way - you'll have to cut across the band here, but DJ and Millenia are waiting! Good luck! -runs off-
Sophitia: Wait! Hold on! Oh......well, all right... -runs off as intro ends-

-Festive Music begins to play, as shots of the parade route are shown alongside the people introduced-

Non-Cheesy, 50's Style Announcer: Live from Downtown Station Square, it's the 88th Annual Station Square Thanksgiving Day Parade! With special guest Sophitia Alexandra......performances by stars...and more! Now our hosts, from DarkJuno: (Non)Roving Reporter, DJ and Millenia...

-pan down to the two at the special desk set along the first corner of the parade, which allows their back to be to the passing parade but at the same time see what's coming up. Both are decked in winter gear and have headsets-

DJ: Hello everyone, and Happy Thanksgiving, as we welcome you here, to the 88th Annual Station Square Thanksgiving's Day Parade! Like always (since last year), I'm DJ!
Millenia: And of course, I'm Millenia, and we hope you're all having a great day so far - we are!
DJ: Indeed we are Millenia, we've been here all morning so far and this parade is going to be great once it gets started in a couple of minutes...but, we're supposed to have a guest commentator with us today...
Millenia: I know, where could she be? I hope we don't have to start without her...
DJ: That would be unfortunate, but if we have to...
Millenia: -squints and looks out at the readying opening band- Hey, what's going on over there?
DJ: Eh? I don't know, it looks like someone’s trying to squeeze past the Station Square High Marching Band...

-camera pans and focuses on a blonde head passing by the marching band and out into the open out front. Obviously, it's Sophitia, as she, still looking lost (though not really since this IS staged) finds her way up a set of stairs into the booth-

Millenia: Oh hey! There she is right now!
DJ: Well, that's definitely a sort of entrance then, so we're definitely glad to see Sophitia Alexandra, as she climbs into our little booth here. Hi Sophitia, and Happy Thanksgiving!
Sophitia: -smiles and sits, reaching and putting on her own headset- Thanks DJ, Millenia, I hope you two are having a good say as well.
Millenia: Oh, we are, and we're thrilled and honored to have you here today.
Sophitia: The pleasure is mine, believe me.
DJ: Well, I'm glad you could make it in time!
Sophitia: Yes, well, I would not miss this for anything.
Millenia: You certainly got here on time, because this thing's ready to start any second now.
DJ: Yeah, and we'll be right back with it! Stay Tuned!



-Nightmare is wreaking havoc on a small European village as DK#1 and UFS#3 pop up-

DK#1: Since Nightmare has a soul-sucking sword of evil, can HE see why kids love Soul Edge Crunch?
Nightmare: -kicks a dead person off the Soul Edge and grabs the bow of cereal- Hmm, because it offers its soul to them!?
UFS#3: No way Knight Boy! It's the cinnamon and sugar swirls they like!
Nightmare: ......THEN I WILL FEAST ON YOUR SOULS!!!
DK #1 & #3: AAARRRGGH!!!!!!

-the two run off with Nightmare chasing them, cutting to a box of the cereal set aside a bowl, a glass of milk, a glass of orange juice, and a bran muffin-

DK#1: Soul Edge Crunch! A part of a balanced breakfast!

-the Soul Edge smashes the table in half-

Nightmare: Cinnamon! Sugar! Come unto me!!!



Sophitia: -slightly disturbed- Well...that was certainly an interesting advertisement for Siegfried to take part in...
Millenia: Oh, that's right, you and him kinda had a thing going back when you were first searching for the Soul Edge, eh?
Sophitia: No, of course not! We were just friends...and besides, I'm more then happily married with my husband and have been blessed with two wonderful children since then.
DJ: Indeed, how're they anyway?
Sophitia: Rothion is doing quite well and has just received a commission to create a particular sword, and the children are great as well!
DJ: That’s good to hear.
-a loud bullhorn sounds-
Millenia: And that's good to hear too, because that means this parade is ready to begin!
DJ: Yup, and here comes the Station Square marching band, trailing behind this year's grand marshal, Captain Douglas Jay Falcon, who is now the Seven Time F-Zero GP winner.
Millenia: Boy, THAT'S going to help his ego...
DJ: Yeah, well, he's a good racer, I'll say that much.
Sophitia: Indeed. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but this is also the first time in the Parade's history where he is actually driving his own vehicle as opposed to being driven about?
DJ: You're right about that Sophitia! Captain Falcon insisted he drive his own racer the Blue Falcon in this parade.
Millenia: He's definitely going a lot slower then he normally would though!
Sophitia: One would hope so.
DJ: Anyway, following Falcon is the Station Square High Marching Band, leading the way like they always do...
Millenia: ...EXCEPT for last year! Unbeknown quest to our viewers out there, there was a problem and they ended up coming along in the middle instead.
Sophitia: Even so, they have been an annual member of this parade for 54 years now.
DJ: Yup, and they're as invaluable as this next guy, our very first float!
Millenia: Woohoo, the cooked turkey returns!
Sophitia: Hmm, we may not celebrate Thanksgiving in Greece, but that seems rather strange...
Millenia: Well, this was instituted last year when I thought this was weird too, but hey, it does make sense if you think about it...
DJ: Whatever the case, this is one turkey that not even Kirby could eat, since it's made out of 5 tons of steel.
Sophitia: Five tons? That's quite a bird!
Millenia: Yup!
DJ: Of course, riding on the float are the last three members of the Non-Roving Reporter Crew, my old buddies Foyusa and Sailor Freaky Psychic Bird, and of course our special correspondent Mai Shiranui!
Sophitia: Yes, Taki has told me about Mai. Quite lively according to her.
Millenia: That'd be one way to put it...
Sophitia: Oh?
Millenia: Well, she's definitely a great gal, but she seems a little...flighty sometimes.
Sophitia: I see, my sister Cassandra is the same way sometimes.
DJ: Hey, to be fair, Mai's a pretty smart woman - it's just that sometimes her attitude and actions seem to prove otherwise.
Sophitia: Well, that's definitely Cassie then.
DJ: Well, anyhow, following that oversized dinner is yet another staple of the parade, Boco the Chocobo, brought to you once again by Choco Billy's, the finest in Chocobo Breeding!
Millenia: Oh yeah, I paid them a visit last week and those new '04 models are awesome!
Sophitia: Hmph, it's times like this I wonder why we don't have such caring creatures like those in my world. Instead we have malevolent swords bent on global catastrophes...
Millenia: Hey, as a former global catastrophe lover, I take offense at that!
Sophitia: Come now Millenia, there is nothing good from burning and destruction...
DJ: She's got a point there Millenia...
Millenia: Eh...hey look, it's a giant crystal!
DJ: Wha? I thought the Krystal balloon wasn't going to be around this year...
Sophitia: No no, a literal crystal! This is the Final Fantasy Main Characters' Council Float, representing the almost unifying theme of the crystal throughout most of their worlds.
Millenia: Yup, and like last year, we have all the central characters and their significant others - where they apply!
-Fighter, Hero II, Hero III, Cecil, Bartz, Terra, Cloud, Squall, Zidane, and Tidus are indeed there, alongside White Mage, Girl II, Girl III, Rosa, Lenne, Tifa, Rinoa, Garnet, and Yuna, all mostly happy. However, Squall is, obviously, cross-armed and not even remotely waving despite protests by the pregnant Rinoa-
DJ: Well, Terra still says she has no one for her, so one can't particularly question her.
Sophitia: Why does that man in the black jacket seem so unhappy?
Millenia: ...you don't know Squall, do you?
Sophitia: Can't say I do, though I've certainly heard of him...
DJ: Well, believe me, this is his "relatively happy" face, so we all appreciate what we can get out of him.
Sophitia: I see...
DJ: Well, with that said, we'll be right back after this.



Announcer: You've seen him hit the tracks in the F-Zero Grand Prix......you've even heard stories of his past...but now, witness the thrill of his true calling!

-Beastman jumps down from a tree-

Beastman: Crikey! -runs off as a giant space crocodile chases after-

Announcer: It's The Beast Hunter! Join Beastman as he searches the swamps and jungles of the universe(s) for animal adventures! Thrill! As he comes in contact with the giant crocodiles which led him to his career!

-scenes of Beastman jumping and kicking a giant crocodile-

Chill! As he takes on the giant roaches of the M Class Hunter Nebula!

Beastman: Isn't she gorgeous!? -points to a giant roach which he subsequently shoots-

So tune in weekends for The Beast Hunter!!! Only (will never be) on the Discovery Channel.



DJ: Welcome back all, and just in time to listen in to an all-star group of singers sing a Christmas classic! Let's listen in...

-the float is dressed like a snowy scene, as a large, somewhat mismatched group of people play instruments as several well-known singers, well, sing-

Elena: Hi everyone!
Crowd: Hey Elena!
Elena: This song goes out to all of you, from me and my buddies here!

-music begins...-

Elena: Chestnuts roasting...on an open fire...
Jack Levin: Jack Frost nipping at your nose...
Elena: Yuletide Carols, being sung by a choir...
Celes Chere: And folks dressed up like Eskimos...

Elena: Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe
Athena Asymiya: Help to make the season bright...
Elena: Tiny tots, with their eyes all aglow,
Knuckles: Will find it hard to sleep tonight...

Yuna: They know that Santa, is on his way.
He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh.
Rikku: And every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if stantler really know how to fly.

Elena: And so, I'm offering you, this simple phrase.
To Kids from one to ninety two...me and you...
Celes: Although it's been said, many times, many ways...
Merry Christmas to you.

Jack: They know that Santa's on his way...
Athena: He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh.
And every mother's child, is gonna spy,
To see if stantler really know how to fly.......

Knuckles: And so I'm offering this simple phrase,
To kids from one to ninety two...
Elena: Although it's been said...
Yuna: Many times...
Rikku: Many ways...
All: Merry Christmaaaaaaaaaaassss!!!!!!


To you.......................

-cheers-

Elena: Happy Holidays everyone!

-the float begins to move again as everyone waves-

Sophitia: Now, that was Elena, Yu.Ri., Athena Asymiya, Knuckles the Echidna, Celes Chere, and Jack Levin with that fabulous presentation of the classic.
DJ: Yup, and don't forget about the Hyrule Symphony, the Magical Dreamers, and the Runaway Five providing the background music and vocals there. This is all to promote this new made for charity CD Elena's production company is putting out, with all proceeds going to the Lighthouse, which includes cuts by all the people you saw and more.
Millenia: Including yours truly! Oh, and Mai's on there as well, not to mention several other well known and rising stars. Plus, unbeknown quest to most people...
DJ: Aw man...
Sophitia: What's wrong?
Millenia: Hehe, it's just that on the last track, which is a group song sung by all of us, we managed to get DJ here and other celebrities with voices ranging from great to decent enough to be the background, so keep an ear open!
DJ: Yeah, well, I belong to that latter group, if even at all.
Sophitia: Oh, you can't possibly be that bad, especially if you have such a voice for merely speaking to crowds.
DJ: If only that were true...hey, there's our next float, titled "Calm Serenity," by the United Bishounen Association!
Millenia: Aw yeah! That's what I'm talking about!
Sophitia: Eh, I don't know...all those men seem a tad bit too "pretty" for me...
DJ: Whatever the case, you see here several of the founding members of the UBA, including the UBA top honcho Sephiroth.
Millenia: Look at all that man mea...
DJ: Millenia! Calm down, this is a TV-G rated event...
Millenia: I can always dream!
DJ: ......
Sophitia: Oh, come now DJ, let her be. Cassandra, for one, has an eye for these men as well.
DJ: Eh, whatever.
Sophitia: Now, next up here are the Balamb Belles all the way from Balamb Garden.
Millenia: Yup, this group of dancers was made when one Selphie Tilmitt began bothering both Headmaster Cid Kramer and good ol' Squall about making the Physical Training choices broader and include more. Eventually Squally boy caved and allowed this fantastic dance program.
DJ: Yup, and not only are they fantastic and - Damn! They just did the splits on cold concrete!
Sophitia: .....
DJ: Oh, uh, sorry, it was impulse...
Sophitia: That's quite all right, but even so, that was quite a sight - oh, there they go again.
DJ: -whistles- Anyway, not only can they do stuff like that, but they can probably take you on in a fight.
Millenia: Just like Sophitia!
Sophitia: No no, my splitting days are far behind me, I'm afraid.
DJ: You're not that old, really...
Sophitia: Still, I wouldn't want to try something like that anytime soon.
Millenia: You and me both!
DJ: It should go without saying that I couldn't do that even if I wanted to...
Millenia: I don't know, you're awfully quick and agile for a guy.
DJ: Agile, maybe. But I certainly can't move around like that.
Sophitia: Oh look!
Millenia: Hey look, it's Princess Peach Toadstool and several of her subjects...on go karts?
DJ: Indeed, Princess Peach, as well as the famous Mario Brothers, her retainer Toad, her cousin Princess Daisy of Sarasaland, and several other subjects are here in the new model "karts" used in the Mario Kart Grand Prix.
Sophitia: Another grand prix?
Millenia: Well, there are a lot of race circuits out there...
DJ: Yup. We'll be back after this!



-Samus standing in front of a plain white background with her helmet off and a forced smile-

Samus: .....Hi everyone! I'm Samus Aran, and I know the problems of having to look glamorous on the go! After all, a Bounty Hunter doesn't have time to get....-under breath- do I have to say this!?
Off camera whisper: Just say it!
Samus: fine...-back to "normal"- ...get all glitzed up and proper, girl! That's why I use BishoujoCo. Brand Hair care products! With different levels for different women, and their very different lifestyles! Here are some testimonials!

-various characters, all with forced smiles-

King: After those long hours of keeping jerks out of those bars, my short hair is a mess, which is why I use BishoujoCo's Lite Style Conditioner!

Queen Garnet: Ruling a Kingdom is not an easy task, and it is rather hard to look royal all the time, which is why I prefer hi-style!

Ayla: Running in shrubs not easy, really hard on Ayla's hair. That why Ayla use Extra Style, keep Ayla's hair nice and not dirty!

-Samus looking bored again before realizing she's on-

Samus: Oh.......but now you see, that BishoujoCo. it the way to go ladies! BishoujoCo: They do hair right!

-inexplicably, Selphie pops up from nowhere with a slightly different bottle from those presented-

Selphie: Now available in Mountain Spring with Orchid and Lilac - so come get some, Heehee! -wink-



Millenia: ......DJ, you lazy cheater! You already used that ad before!
DJ: Ah ah! That little bit at the end is different - other shampoo commercials do that all the time!
Millenia: ......
Sophitia: Well, I happen to use the long day formula. Running around a bakery with two kids is much harder then one would think.
DJ: That's why I can't stand kids.
Millenia: What about baking?
DJ: See, now that's another story entirely...though my cakes aren't particularly very good.
Millenia: Well, not everyone can have the touch...
DJ: Oh, you're one to talk Miss "Stone Muffins." Those things nearly dented the tile floors at the hospital back in Hyrule.
Sophitia: Now now you two, calm down, and pay attention to the next display coming down the road.
DJ: We probably should, because it's the Knights of Pluto, all the way from Alexandria.
Millenia: These proud knights are led by Captain Adelbert Steiner, and are actually the only men in the Alexandrian army!
Sophitia: I've heard of this. The rest of the knights are women under the command of General Beatrix, correct?
Millenia: Yeah, and let me tell ya, those women kick butt! Still, these Knights of Pluto are slightly more specialized and came in quite handy in the Terminian Civil War last year.
DJ: Right, so don't count them out! And hey, what's that sound...?
Millenia: I do believe that's the sound of hooves going down on concrete!
Sophitia: Could it possibly be Father Christmas?
DJ: Well, I suppose that's true, but it's Santa being pulled by his Stantler!
Millenia: Or is it?
DJ: Indeed Millenia, this year's Santa is actually Vermillion City Gym Leader Lt. Surge, the Lightning American! After the war, he settled down in Kanto and soon became a member of the Pokemon League, rising up to the gym leader position.
Sophitia: He's doing this because of a lost bet, isn't he?
DJ: You got it Sophitia! Like every year, Santa is decided by whoever looses the yearly bet the Elite Four and Gym Leaders take part in, and this year Lt. Surge was the unfortunate loser.
Millenia: And with that comes the closing of another fantastic parade here in Station Square!
DJ: You got that right Millenia! First of all, we have to thank Sophitia Alexandra for joining us here today!
Sophitia: Again, it was my pleasure to do so!
Millenia: Even so, we have a little gift for you here, as a souvenir! -hands Sophitia a DJ: (N)RR hat and a Snow globe of Station Square-
Sophitia: Oh! Thank you very much!
DJ: It's no problem! So for Millenia and Sophitia, I'm DarkJuno, bidding you all a sane and pleasant holiday! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Millenia: Yeah!!!











"Sophitia......Sophitia............time to wake up............."

-wavy cut to another cheesy set up scene, Sophitia burrows her head out from under a pillow and blearily looks up top a slightly impatient Cassandra-

Cassandra: Well gee Sis! You're taking your sweet time to get up!
Sophitia: Wha...? Wait, where's the parade...?
Cassandra: Parade? Are you all right sis?
Sophitia: -blinks and sits up- Ugh...yeah, I think I'll be fine...I just had the strangest dream, that's all.
Cassandra: Hmph, nothing a good soak at the spring can't fix! How about a quick dip before heading to the bakery?
Sophitia: That’d be great!

-Sophitia starts to get up, but feels something hidden in the sheets-

Sophitia: Hmm?
Cassandra: Hey, what's that?
Sophitia: -pulls out the snow globe gift and looks shocked at first, but then smiles and begins to laugh as she digs around the bed a bit more-
Cassandra: Uh, what's so funny...?
Sophitia: -finds what she's looking for- Oh, nothing... -smiles and places the (N)RR hat on Cassandra's head and leaves the room, leaving a confused Cassandra behind as the screen fades out-