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[DarkJuno]

Brand new lines, possible royalty, and a stately visit! All this and more, here on the 32nd Edition of DarkJuno: (Non)Roving Reporter!

-normal intro-

Non-Cheesy, 50's Style Announcer: With Millenia...Foyusa...Freaky Psychic Bird...and special correspondent Mai Shiranui...this is DarkJuno: (Non) Roving Reporter...

-news desk-

DJ: Hey everyone, and welcome to another edition of DJ: (N)RR! Once more, I'm your edge-of-soul host DJ...
Millenia: And I'm Millenia! And over there are DJ's old buddies...

-letters' desk-

Foyusa: Foyusa!
FPB: ..and FPB! And would that make you the weapon of all evil that Kuja currently owns?
DJ: No, it makes me a lyric from a song...
Millenia: In any case, what's up with you lately DJ? These editions are starting to come out in a reasonably timed cycle again!
DJ: Hey, I'm as surprised as anyone else! Though I'll say to enjoy these while they last...onto the news!

-news mode-

DJ: First up on the slate, the reasonably new yet world(s) famous Highwind Airship Company is indeed interested in expanding its successful lie-up of airships into building spacecraft as well. Due to the massive success of the model V-8 airship, which can be used for sub orbital flights, there is already demand for more powerful, and safer spacecraft for the average consumer. Says head engineer/founder/president Cid Highwind...

Cid: Hell yeah we're thinking of expanding! We'd be &%$& nuts to &$(*&%^ ignore this &^*&(% obvious chance to ^%(*%( make more &*(% profit!

DJ: Already, several space agencies ready to replace their aging space "exploration" fleets are showing interest, but Cid has said time and time again that this would be for your average consumer, though corporations are more then welcome to try out their higher end models.

Millenia: Surprise has hit Termina this week as, as a result of the recent Civil War, Hyrule has laid down a plan to unite the entire country under one leader, though not necessarily a monarchy as the nation itself has. The King of Hyrule claims that Termina is very much like his country in the old days when there was no unifying force to drive the entire nation together in harmony. While this idea is still in early stages and is being presented to the nation's separate races, rumors abound that, of all people, the current acting mayor of Clocktown, Cremia is a rather popular choice, though she has no past experience in politics, despite the surprisingly good job she's done as acting mayor. Not only has she helped instill rebuilding efforts, but she's also actively tried to jumpstart the city of Clocktown back into normal order.

DJ: In other news, President Laguna Loire of Esthar went on a state visit this week to the Kingdom of Baron, seen here exiting his Presidential plane with his niece of sorts Ellone. This trip was partially made because the charitable organization "Lighthouse's" founder Rinoa Heartilly-Leonhart is out on maternity leave and left Ellone in charge for the time being. She's here to see what she can do for the poor of this particular world. On the other hand, President Loire is also scheduled to meet with King Cecil and Queen Rosa over several issues that have come up, as they all planned to meet before the grand summit next year at Jenova for the World(s) leaders, hosted by the FFMCC. It's expected they will talk about the slight economic slump Baron is currently experiencing, as well as other items.

Millenia: Finally tonight, the Galbadian Presidential race between UBA candidate Kuja and SS candidate Mewtwo is heating up, as ads have begun appearing across television and radio stations across the recently revitalized nation. While still being relatively nice and clean at this point, analysts assume that it will eventually get to be a down and dirty fight for the votes. UBA President Sephiroth claims that this will be an easy victory, as the SS has already had to change candidates when Falco had to leave with the rest of StarFox. However, the party replies that Mewtwo is an excellent replacement and will get the job done. More after this...


-Pan across a long, long, looooooooooong line circling around what looks like a shopping mall. As the camera reaches near the front of the line of impatient people, we see Samus Aran, Link, Mario, and Fox McCloud sitting at a table signing autographs for the SSB:M-

Samus: -sigh- There...
Fan #1: Woo, thanks a lot Ms. Aran!!!
Samus: -shrugs- Next...
Fan #2: -is way back in the line- Hey, can we get this damn line moving already!?
Samus: ......
Mario: Just-a ignore-a him Samus...
Samus: -shrugs and signs another autograph-

-"A Few Hours Later" pops up on the screen, on a noticeably more annoyed Samus. The Fan has been complaining the whole time-

Fan #2: Come on now, can we get this thing moving!?

-Samus grinds her teeth together but takes a deep breath, before ducking down and reappearing with her gun arm. With overblown special effects, she vaporizes the annoying fan as the other impatient fans hush up-

Samus: It's movin' now...next!

-goes to a guy in line eating a Snicker's Bar-

Non-Cheesy, 50's Style Announcer: Gonna be awhile? Grab a Snicker's.


DJ: ...well, I suppose one should be patient around Samus...
Millenia: Got that right! Anyway, all this week the Annual Meeting of the Kunoichi League, female ninjas from around the world(s) have come together to discuss matters and do things people would do at these big annual meetings.
DJ: Yup, and who better to get this from then our own kunoichi, Mai Shiranui! Joining us live from this year's host standing by the Sakura dai Gate in Japan, what's up Mai?

-Mai appears on the screen behind the news desk, with several other female ninjas behind her, all seemingly training. From well known ones like Taki and Kasumi to lesser known background NPC ones, many are there. However, there seems to be one distinguishing feature almost all the girls have in common, though everyone onscreen seems oblivious to it-

Mai: Konnichiwa DJ-chan, Milly-chan! Yes, it is I, Mai here at the annual KL meeting!
DJ: So Mai, can you explain what it is exactly you gals do there at the meeting every year?
Mai: Good question! You see, like all organizations, we come together every year to streamline our -dodges a few -cough-bounding NPC ninjas chasing each other- ideas and to bring us all together as a unified group, where we discuss the latest in our creed as kunoichi and in the new styles we discover.

-smiles and winks-

Mai: But of course, the best part is when we brag about our accomplishments over the past year, though it can get pretty...rough.
Millenia: Bragging? That doesn't seem very honorable to me...
Mai: Eh -shrugs- Still, it usually ends up with all of us arguing over who's the -ducks as Taki and Ibuki interrupt overhead, fighting in the air while passing bay- best and who's done the most...
DJ: Well, so long as you get the boring stuff out of the way.
Mai: Hai! Why, all day we spoke about -as Mai drones on for awhile, the camera noticeably shifts to below her neckline and pans around the other women, their heads also being chopped off-
DJ: Uh, Mai...
Mai: Eh? -notices the camera- Oh! -smacks the cameraman, who quickly returns to the original view- Hmph! Pervert! Anyway, as I was saying...
Ayane: -bursts out of a nearby wall and gets into her fighting stance- Shiranui! I heard what you and Kasumi were talking about last night! I'll take her later...but for now you'll do!
Mai: Not a chance! Hold on guys, I'll be right back...-dives into a fight-

-studio-

DJ: Sure thing Mai! Hey, Millenia...
Millenia: Yeah?
DJ: Is it just me, or do all these kunoichi have something...I don't know, similar?
Millenia: -rolls eyes-
Foyusa: -flies in- No, he's right! But I can't quite figure it out...
DJ: I know! It seems like it's so obvious and is staring us right in the face...
Foyusa: Yup, like it's being thrust right in our eyes...
DJ: Yeah, almost as if they're fully in view and yet we can't figure it out...
Millenia: ...you can't be serious...
Foyusa: What?
DJ: Eh, oh well, let's not let it get to us. Hey Mai, how's it going on there?

-Mai pops up on-screen, slightly more tattered up and holding Ayane away by an arms length-

Mai: -whew- Uh, I think we should end this right now. We're a little...busy here...
DJ: Sure thing Mai. Have a safe trip back!
Mai: Hai! Sayanora!
DJ: Mai Shiranui everybody! Now get back to the desk Foyusa...
Foyusa: Oh, right...-flies off-
DJ: Now, it's time for everyone's favorite copy characters in...

-special effects, you know the drill-

Millenia: LETTERS TO MODIFIED EXISTING POKEMON!!!
DJ: Take it awaaaaaaaay, Foyusa and FPB!

-letters' desk-

FPB: Thanks DJ! This letter comes from Greece, and it reads...

"Dear Foyusa and FPB,

You know, I'm a little puzzled about my wife. You see, back before we were married or even engaged, she claims that she was summoned by the gods to look for some evil weapon and destroy it, and the next thing you know, she's being carried back by some Japanese woman who has to extract a strange piece of metal embedded into her chest. A few years later, right before our marriage, she went off again for the same journey - both times I forged her weapons myself. This time, she came back empty handed and fine, and we married.

See, now she's gone and run off again, but this time she went off because our two kids began acting wild around a strange piece of metal I took from a traveler. Her sister took the shard this time and also left, and soon after my wife took off as well. Recently, she just returned, along with her younger sister, and both were reasonably okay. Now, am I going to have to worry about this again? I mean, I trust her, but this whole thing about running off every few years can't be good for the kids.

Thanks,
SteamForger"

FPB: Well, you say you trust her, so obviously you aren't worried about anything. I applaud the fact that you have no problem with the fact that your wife is the one going out on quests and not you, the man, but you have to be a little more accommodating, as you already are. Don't worry, the two of you should be fine.
Foyusa: Well, you may want to ask her a bit more about those adventures, but generally I agree. Back to you guys!

DJ: Thanks guys! Ready Millenia?
Millenia: Sure!

-clears throat-

Millenia: Ships for the galaxy ready made now,
DJ: In shapes like dragons, birds, and sows.
Millenia: Royal Family a possibility in Termina, eh?
DJ: Good luck getting this done by May.
Millenia: Cramp cursed Prez makes a visit,
DJ: Sucks he's got bad luck, doesn’t it?
Millenia: Meanwhile wannabe presidents vie for the seat,
DJ: All while voters try to figure out what's sweet.
Millenia: Flying, fighting ninjas seem to argue all the time,
DJ: Only while out what's making my mind think of limes.
Millenia: Finally a hubbie's worried for his wife,
DJ: He wants to know if its temp or for his life.

-boos-

Millenia: Well, that's expected...
DJ: Right...um, anyway, for Millenia, Foyusa, Freaky Psychic Bird, and Mai Shiranui, I'm DarkJuno, bidding you all a sane and pleasant day.
All: See Ya!





























"What? This is impwobable..."
"But it is..."
"You...you'we the one who bwought me back to.."
"Yes...now...you want revenge, right...?"
"Yes...mowe then anything....I'll get that silver-haired fweak if it's the last thing I do..."