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[DarkJuno]

BREAKING NEWS: Pip the True Serial Murderer!

Non-Cheesy Sounding, 50's Style Announcer: We interrupt your reading with a DarkJuno: (Non)Roving Reporter Breaking News Report...

-DJ standing in the evening around a large, panicked group of people looking up at the top of a "Dungeon Drop" type ride-

DJ: Sorry for interrupting, but you're now joining me live, here at Apoca-land in the Kalamahri Desert! It has now been revealed by some quick work of Interstellar Bounty Hunter Samus Aran that Vincent is completely innocent of all his charges! Instead, it is the new CCKA leader, Pip, who committed the murders! Now, Pip has run here, to Apoca-land, and is currently in a showdown with Samus herself up there, on top of Kefka's Tower, which is about 100 Stories tall. As you can see down here...

-the camera pans down, showing S.T.A.R.S. members blocking off civilians from a rather burned out battle area. Samus's rather damaged Varia Suit is located amongst the covered bodies of what appear to be Pip's Anthromorphic Thugs-

DJ: Samus had to fight off several of Pip's thugs, having to resort to sacrificing her own suit and then continuing the chase. And now, she has cornered Pip on top of this ri...Whoa! Pan up Floyd!

-the camera pans up...to show Pip flying off with a strange sort of jetpack-

DJ: Crap! He's getting away! He's...wait! Oh my God, he's falling! The jetpack seems to have stopped! Oh my God!!!

-true enough, Pip begins falling to his death on the other side of the ride, as S.T.A.R.S. members run over-

DJ: Damn! Okay, well...tune in to the next edition of DJ:(N)RR for our coverage of this shocking twist. We now return to your regularly scheduled article...

Non-Cheesy Sounding, 50's Style Announcer: We now return you to your regularly scheduled article, already in progress.