10 replies to this topic

[Crimson Lego]

So the culminating for my philosophy class was to write an essay on this topic:

 

1. Bernard Williams criticizes utilitarianism partly for the way it undermines the idea that each
of us is specially responsible for what he or she does rather than for what other people do,
illustrating his idea through the example of Jim, the traveller. Explain and criticize his line of
thought. How might a utilitarian respond?

 

 

 PHIL 110B Paper Assignment.doc   32K   6 downloads

 

 

If anyone gets the time to read through this, any and all criticisms would be welcome and appreciated.

[deep]

When's the due date?

[Kisseena]

November 14th?

That's what I'm assuming since that's the date on the paper.

[Crimson Lego]

Thursday night by 11:59 pm.

[Wolf O'Donnell]

Check the spelling and grammar again. You've got a spelling mistake in the first sentence... "It stats that the desired path of action". There's a bit later on in the essay that states: "Williams argues against this with the point that Jim's feelings about his actions." That Jim's feelings about his actions what? Also, immediately after:

 

"He says that since utilitarianism leaves aside integrity and feelings, and it takes away the idea that we as human beings should be responsible for our own actions as opposed to the actions of others."

 

That doesn't seem complete to me, because of your use of the word, "since". I'm waiting for a consequence. Since utilitarianism does all the things you stated, what then? What is the result of utilitarianism donig that?

 

Also, it might just be because I come from a science background, but the way you've constructed your essay looks weird to me.

 

 

 

Williams also says that utilitarianism's disconnect from moral feelings 'alienates one from one's actions as well'.

 

Is the above a quote from the book you've referenced? If so, which page? See this URL for more info: http://www.monash.ed...urces/2.5.2.xml

 

I also see a real lack of references. Now this might be because you're only referencing the one book, but the question is, should you be referencing the one book? How easy is it for you to find a utilitarian's counter-critique of Bernard Williams's criticism? Would it be a good idea to quote what an actual utilitarian has said?

 

Check your essay again for sentences that don't seem quite complete. Also, reconsider some of the sentences. Could you reword them so they're more concise? For example, I would argue that your sentence:

"He says that since utilitarianism leaves aside integrity and feelings, and it takes away the idea that we as human beings should be responsible for our own actions as opposed to the actions of others" should read:

 

"He says that since utilitarianism ignores a person's integrity, feelings and the idea of personal responsibility for our own actions..."

 

That's about it, I think. Keep up the good work and don't forget to properly reference your source materials.

Edited by Wolf O'Donnell, 11 November 2013 - 05:13 PM.

[Crimson Lego]

Double checked with the prof today and she said she'd 'prefer' that we stick mostly to the course syllabus but it's okay to use outside references, so I"ll probably look up what Mill or another prominent utilitarian could say. And I"ll go and fix the grammar stuff too.

 

 

Thanks a lot! 

[Wolf O'Donnell]

Double checked with the prof today and she said she'd 'prefer' that we stick mostly to the course syllabus but it's okay to use outside references, so I"ll probably look up what Mill or another prominent utilitarian could say. And I"ll go and fix the grammar stuff too.

 

 

Thanks a lot! 

 

That's alright.

 

Out of interest, what year are you in?

[Crimson Lego]

 

Double checked with the prof today and she said she'd 'prefer' that we stick mostly to the course syllabus but it's okay to use outside references, so I"ll probably look up what Mill or another prominent utilitarian could say. And I"ll go and fix the grammar stuff too.

 

 

Thanks a lot! 

 

That's alright.

 

Out of interest, what year are you in?

 

 

First, just started in September.

[Wolf O'Donnell]

 

 

Double checked with the prof today and she said she'd 'prefer' that we stick mostly to the course syllabus but it's okay to use outside references, so I"ll probably look up what Mill or another prominent utilitarian could say. And I"ll go and fix the grammar stuff too.

 

 

Thanks a lot! 

 

That's alright.

 

Out of interest, what year are you in?

 

 

First, just started in September.

 

 

Oh, fair enough, then. That explains everything.

[Crimson Lego]

 

 

 

Double checked with the prof today and she said she'd 'prefer' that we stick mostly to the course syllabus but it's okay to use outside references, so I"ll probably look up what Mill or another prominent utilitarian could say. And I"ll go and fix the grammar stuff too.

 

 

Thanks a lot! 

 

That's alright.

 

Out of interest, what year are you in?

 

 

First, just started in September.

 

 

Oh, fair enough, then. That explains everything.

 

 

I've also never been particularly good at essays or English either.

[Twinrova]

ENGRLIGHS HARD!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

SORRY SORRY SORRY where is the font sdize changer

Edited by Twinrova, 14 November 2013 - 06:05 PM.