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[DarkJuno]

A little late, but the announcment of the Galbadian candidates and DJ's interview! All this and more on the 18th Edition of DarkJuno: (Non)Roving Reporter!

-normal intro, with Squall spliced in, however-

Non-Cheesy, 50's Style Announcer: With Millenia........Foyusa........Freaky Psychic Bird.........On the spot correspondent.......and guest host Squall Leonhart........this is DarkJuno: (Non)Roving Reporter........

-instead of the news desk, it's a sterile, clean hospital room. The desk over to the side is filled with plates of baked goods, balloons, flowers, you know, the usual gift crap-

DJ: .......hey again, and welcome to another edition of DJ:(N)RR! As usual, I'm your USUAL host DJ, coming live from the Hyrule Medical Center! And back in the studio are...

-flash back to the news desk with a split screen-

Millenia: It's Millenia! And..
Squall: ..............
Millenia: -sigh- Squall, of course.........man, how are ya DJ?
DJ: Heh, not bad, I could be worse off, but eh.......-motions to his left arm in a sling, as well as his right foot in a cast-
-Mai pops in from the side-
Mai: Oh stop it, you've been fine since last weekend....you're just sitting in here as a paid vacation.
DJ: .............
Millenia: Hehe, well, whatever, but we'll get back to the two of you later.........again, it's nice to see you're okay DJ!
DJ: Thanks! See ya later!

Millenia: We'll have more with our recently recovered host again alter, but again, I'm Millenia, and of course, we're joined once again, probably for the final time, by Squall Leonhart.
Squall: ......whatever.......
Millenia: And of course, over there at the letters' desk are.....

-switch to the letters' desk-

Foyusa: Foyusa!
FPB: ..and FPB! Heh, that slacker DJ......
Foyusa: Well, I can't complain...at least WE'RE still getting paid......
Millenia: Blah, whatever....let's just get on with the news!

-news mode-

Millenia: First up tonight, we here at DJ:(N)RR have exclusive footage of Samus Aran tracking down Vincent to a small, remote area of Hyrule, once more coming straight from her "onboard camera." Let's watch...

-A dark, round, water filled tube. The said water is heard splashing about as Samus's metal footsteps echo after the figure running ahead of her-

Samus: Vincent! This whole time you've been running away isn't helping....give up now!
Vincent: -stops as he comes to an open end of the pipe. Judging from the sound, it's obvious there's quite a steep drop there leading to a pool of water. Slowly, he turns, slightly helpless as Samus gets closer. She, on the other hand, raises the gun arm as she gets within 5 feet of Vinny-
Samus: C'mon....there's no more need to run......
Vincent: .....I didn't kill Starky.........
Samus: .......I really don't care.........
-with that, Vincent nods....and leaps off the edge, Fugitive style. Samus is heard cursing under her breath as she rushes forward-

Millenia: ..........well, it looks like SOMEONE has been watching too many "runaway" movies......anyway, while Samus no longer has a definitive lock, Vincent is indeed still stuck in Hyrule, and Samus claims it's only a matter of time.

Squall: In other news, this past week, the Galbadian Presidential candidates were revealed to the public, for the election next January. As expected, four parties, the UBA, CCKA, SS, and the "Cool" party, have announced their intents and will square off at the debate a month away, where it will be cut down to two. First up, the UBA brings its own representative, the infamous and androgynous Kuja of the Forgotten Continent. The former Arms Dealer and Convict denies reports that he may have trouble with the race, due to the supreme backing of Sephiroth and the rest of the UBA. He claims,

Kuja: It's time we show others the way the UBA works....this Galbadian election is an opportunity to show others the right way....

Squall: As for the CCKA, chair......thing Pip himself is running for the seat of power, as he commented from El Nido,

Pip: We will surely win, fow we awe in the wight path! Cuteness is a fowce to be weconed with!

Squall: The other two candidates, Master Chief for the "Coolies" and Falco Lombardi of the SS also have this to say...

Master Chief: I'll show you all!!! This isn't over!
Falco: Hmph, we need a leader who can make sure everything's done right and is the best....that's me!

Squall: As the election draws nearer, expect these four to campaign endlessly, as the Galbadian nation is an important one for politics, as it is finally being released from Esthar's rule.

Millenia: Moving on, new reports out of G.U.N. report that a new "No no" list of places to visit has been released. The "no-no" list has been made for the past few years, after far too many tourists have been getting injured and killed in their intrepid travels across the worlds. Long standing list members Planet Zebes, Venom, Valmar's Moon, and several others, as expected made it back on the list, as well as dubious newcomers Cetra, Dragon Rock, and more. Surprisingly, Termina has not been included in the list despite the civil war, and Hyrule is in fact on the recommended list, citing Lake Hylia and Hyrule Castle Town as the main draws. Others on the recommended list are: the continent of Balamb, the former Papal state St. Heim, and the now Sin-free land of Spira.

Squall: Meanwhile, speaking of Spira, Yuna, Grand Summoner with no summons to.......summon, made a decidedly bold fashion statement today as she has been seen walking around and casually dressed in hot pants and a decidedly immodest top. Asked as to why the sudden change in fashion, she merely cites,

Yuna: Well...it's not as if I've actually changed, it's just that I guess I needed a change in attitude.....I've been training all my life to be a summoner, but now Aeons have been extinguished from this world.....that outfit just didn't work anymore.

Squall: When asked to comment, Yuna's boyfriend, the popular and overly happy Blitzball star Tidus commented, "Well.....I'm not about to complain......" Just about everyone else agreed as well.

Millenia: Finally tonight, take a look at this!

-shot of a giant Samus Aran balloon being constructed are shown-

Millenia: That's right, with Thanksgiving about a month away, the Holiday Organization is gearing up for the annual Thanksgiving Day parade, with the theme this year being "Endless Memories." There will be floats, balloons, marching bands, performers, and the whole reason the parade started, the Mall Santa Claus. This tradition started way way waaaaaaaaaaaay back when Station Square was just a small town, and people would line up to watch Santa and his Stantler team travel to the old Anthro Department Store. Since then, the parade has grown and the store has become the Mall of the Nations. Naturally, you can catch the parade in all its glory here on your favorite news station, with myself and the hopefully fully recovered DJ hosting, as well as a few special guests!
Squall: Parades...............Rinoa loves those..........
Millenia: Eh, figures.....you're going to be on the FFMCC float, aren't ya?
Squall: ......unfortunately..........
Millenia: Oh, come ON! This is a holiday, you should at least crack a smile.....
Squall: ...whatever..........

Millenia: Heh, well, now to what you've all been waiting for.........live from the Hyrule Medical Center, along with on the spot correspondent, it's DJ!!!!

-turns to the screen, where a shot of Mai standing in the same room is shown. She seems to be rubbing an annoyed DJ's head-

Mai: Konnichiwa Milly-chan, Squa-chan!!!!!!!!!
DJ: Hey again guys.
Millenia: As I said before, it's great having you back DJ......
Squall: Yes, now I can finally get out of this crazy place........
DJ: Hey hey, don't knock the studio Squall! Excellent job filling in, by the way.......
Squall: ....................
Mai: Hehe, riiiiiiiiight............so, come on DJ, exactly WHAT happened anyway?
DJ: Hmm, well.........it's kinda hard to remember, but after Death Mountain rumbled, I lost my footing and obviously fell off the side, by no fault of either Samus or Vincent. I suppose I somehow fell into Zora's river and spent those few weeks eventually drifting into Great Bay, and was picked up during a lull in the fight............otherwise, I'm not too sure......
Millenia: Still, it's amazing you stayed alive for so long.....
DJ: What can I say....I AM writing this, so duh I'm not going to die........
Mai: Hehe, good point.......
Squall: .......whatever.....
DJ: Well, sorry this interview can't have anything else in it.....though, uh, Millenia? About those cupcakes you baked and sent me...
Millenia; What about them!?!?
DJ: Er, they're.....-picks one up and drops it back on the plate, shattering it into a million pieces- ...........a little hard.......
Millenia: Grrr, Elena always makes it look so easy.........
DJ: Speaking of which, tell her thanks for the cake! It was great! -the camera pans back to reveal a small pink cake with a slice taken out of it, seemingly radiating bright, pink light-
Millenia: Tch, yeah yeah, whatever..-grumble grumble-
DJ: Oh, Squall! Tell the guys back at Garden thanks for the cards and flowers too!
Squall ; -nods-
DJ: And Mai.......thanks for the, uh, cheery blossoms and umbrella, I suppose....
Mai: Hehe, of course!
Foyusa: Hey, what about us!?
FPB: Yeah, we spent forever thinking of what to get you.......
DJ: Well, hey, I appreciate it! But.....-picks up a tiny plate of cookies.....literally, it fits in the palm of his hand- Uh, they're a bit small.......
Foyusa: We tried making full size ones..
FPB: But a certain SOMEONE got trapped under an avalanche of human sized chocolate chips and flour when we tried, so......
DJ: Heh, again, thanks........
Millenia: So, you're coming back next week, right?
DJ: Indeed I am, so tune in for that!
Squall: ....I'm sure they will............
Mai: Yup yup!
Millenia: All right, thanks again for joining us DJ, and see you soon!
DJ: Right, whatever........
Squall: ...............
Millenia: DarkJuno everybody!!!!! And now, it's time for our weekly feature......

-special effects-

LETTERS TO MODIFIED EXISTING POKEMON!!!!!!!!
Squall:............
Millenia: -nudge-
Squall: ............take it away....Foyusa and FPB..............

-letters' desk-

FPB: Thanks guys! This week's letter comes from Thorntail Hollow! It reads....

"Dear Foyusa and FPB,

Ya know, a friend promised me he'd come and visit, but he hasn't come back since! I'm beginning to think he really didn't like me and only lied to use my skills....jerk. No, I didn’t mean that! Please, oh PLEASE come back!!!!

Naviwannabe"

FPB: Er, well, calm down kid, I'm sure he's probably just busy or something...if you’re really a friend, calm down and trust him, okay?
Foyusa: That, or you're extremely annoying and he really WAS just using you....
FPB: -smack!- Foyusa!
Foyusa: What!?
FPB: -sigh- Back to you guys......

Millenia: Heheh, well, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Squall here for filling in for the past few weeks.....you've been a great help!
Squall: -shrug- Whatever.........
Millenia: Seriously! While you're definitely not DJ, you did a great job!
Squall: -shrug-
Millenia: Oookay, whatever then........for Squall Leonhart, Foyusa, Freaky Psychic Bird, DJ, and Mai Shiranui, I'm Millenia, wishing you all a good day! Bye!!!!!!