Now that I have made a sufficient ass of myself, here's a few write ups/analysis.Match 1: Derpy Hooves vs Rebecca Black:
Analysis: Neither are really fighters, and as such this is actually a difficult match to determine based on attitude. However, considering both to be similar, I would vote that this match ends with FRIENDSHIP
. As what preteen girl would pass up the opportunity to befriend a flying pony? Since that is likely an impossibility, I’m going to give the win to DERPY HOOVES
, based entirely on the fact that she(?) can fly and is also a horse.
Write Up: To say these “fighters” where underwhelming would be a vast understatement. Perhaps the organizers of this event arranged this match early, so it would be out of the way when the real talent was shown, or perhaps these two children (for neither of them could have been of age to be considered anything more) merely stumbled into the arena by accident, while it was left unattended. Part of me hoped that was the case, and that the mistake would be realized before the air of bloodthirst and pain was affected upon them any longer; for that is an acquired taste, and not one to be offered to such young ones. Regardless, they were here, and it was increasingly looking as though their fight was indeed arranged. The “combatant” from the left, a girl no older then sixteen, by her looks, took the first move, and began to sing, no doubt hoping to lull her opponent into a calmed state. However, her equally peaceful looking foe, a pale pony, with adorable wings protruding from her sides, instead took to the air, soaring around, complimenting the singing, as though it were somehow relevant. Frustrated, the singer stopped, and glared towards her skyward foe, a stare that her friends at the schoolyard would no doubt find unbearable, but that only spoke to her youth and incompetence in combat in this place. The pony, for its part, did not seem to notice such a glare, and instead altered its course towards the young woman. The speed of the Pegasus gaining, and her foe unmoving, the conclusion was forgone, decided at the same moment that the girl decided to remain still. Many in the crowd averted their eyes, and I am afraid to say that I was among them, when I looked again, there was only one fighter left standing, the horse, but to what end, I could not tell.Match 2: Dark Claw vs Butters Stotch
Analysis: It’s matches like this that make me wonder if it was wise on my part to analyze these fights as death-matches. Still, the difference in ability, intent and power here is staggering. An obvious win for DARK CLAW
if I ever saw one.
Write Up: I have never in my life seen so much blood. It was everywhere.Match 3: The Pianta Lady vs Rangiku Matsumoto
Analysis: This is actually of marginal interest, because Piantas as a whole are known to have decent girth and strength in the Mario universe, which is already known for having a generally higher stamina then real world counterparts. That said, even mooks in Bleach are marginally ridiculous when compared to other series, and thanks too her two most noticed powers, Matsumoto bordered (borders? I haven't kept up) on being one of the show's many main characters for a while, meaning she's higher then average when it comes to Power Levels. Beyond that, Matsumoto is a sword wielder, and pointy objects are possibly the most deadly things in Mario World beyond Lava. I think it's a fair bet to say that RANGIKU MATSUMOTO
wins this match.
Write up: The stage grew quiet as these fighters appeared, one was a tall, ample-breasted woman of Asian features, the other appeared to be something a child would sketch in their spare time. Still, I've learned to never underestimate fighters based on their physical appearance, and one look at that creature told of it's hidden strength. Unfortunately, whatever it might've stored up in strength didn't aide it's mental state in the slightest. It's vacant expression holding true, as it demanded from it's foe the retrieval of fruit. For her part, the other combatant seemed unaware, perhaps even uncaring of this strange creature's pleas, and with a single step, appeared to clear the distance of the arena! With such blinding speed on her side, and the warrior's blade she had drawn in her hands, the outcome of the fight was determined quickly, but I could swear I saw a moments' remorse as the swords-woman brought her blade down. Would this be important in her later fights? Only time could tell. Match 4: Gimli vs Lady GaGa
Analysis: Gimli obviously has the edge when it comes to experience, and would appear to maintain this edge with weapons, but then we realize that Gaga's got a grinder suit, which would ruin Gimli's axe. (I know that's not how grinders work, but I need something more then DER AXE BEATS SONG) moreover, Gimli has a documented weakness for blondes, and as an honorable Dwarven Warrior, would not strike a woman lightly. Given Gaga's natural charm and proper choice of uniform, as well as her apparent kindness, this is yet another match I'd attribute to FRIENDSHIP
. However, as before, that seems an impossibility. I'm going to say that GIMLI
has a MARGINAL VICTORY VIA SUBDUAL
Write up: From either side of the arena, appeared two combatants so strangely mismatched, I wondered if perhaps this was some sort of odd half-time like amusement. However, both were announced as fighters, and I was once more assured that there would be combat. The shorter of the two seemed like no stranger to war, his short, but muscular stature holding in a classical defensive stat, his iron armor worn and dinged, much like his face, which was lined as a man who has endured much stress. His opponent, however, was a young woman, who's experience in combat was doubtful beyond a few misplaced sibling tussles in her youth. This obviously shocked the Dwarf who sought to battle, as his expression and stance changed to one of surprise, and then dismay. He called to the host, asking for a different match, asking why he was to face a woman? When his desperate pleas went unanswered, he dove approached nervously, and, seeing that she held no weapon, dropped his, almost with relief. They tussled, both awkward, and unsure if this was how these fights were supposed to work. Their struggle was amusing, and gained many laughs from the crowd that had gathered to watch these proceedings (much aiding the Dwarf's growing frustration)before finally, the dwarf sat, atop his foe, fist held high. The host did not announce his victory for a few moments, and the air grew tense. The Dwarf's triumph was briefly replaced by worry, before the ending match bell was sounded. He rose from his fallen foe, helping her to her feet, and the crowd gave a cheer. The fight was over.
No one expected the incinerators, least of all the Dwarf who's mercy had been forgotten, and the lady who's life had been extinguished.
More to come?
Edited by Moriatti, 01 December 2011 - 05:07 PM.