Eastern Iowa has been especially hot compared to normal this year, with no random cold snaps.
My house is about 50 years old.
Do the math.
This entire summer has seen a parade of both the usual insect invaders and new and exciting ones that are terrorizing the shit out of me. Lots of house centipedes for the cats to eat all the legs off before murdering them (seriously, one of my cats loves to do that). Little spiders all the time. There was a random wave of strange worm-like things that seems to have gone away now. Gigantic pill bugs in strange parts of the house. I think we have a carpet bug infestation too. Or at least, there's some kind of strange little bug somewhere between a tick and a beetle that isn't a bedbug showing up all over the house.
Tonight there was a fucking huge spider in my purse.
To give you some perspective, by purse I mean an actual police swat bag complete with ammo pouches that I use to carry things like my wallet, DS, novels... sometimes rug yarn for making hooked rugs. It's big and black and made of kevlar.
By huge fucking spider, I mean a spider of unknown species, but the kind with longer front legs, that is about the size of a silver fucking dollar. Yeah, you know, the coins with Kennedy on them that you think "why would they ever make such a big impractical coin for general circulation?".
And my husband is sleeping like the dead because he's got a bit of a cold and when I reached in my bag for one of my DS game cases, it crawled on my fucking hand and settled on something brightly colored so I could see it quite well enough. So of course I haven't got my games, and I can't wake my husband to deal with the giant motherfucking mutant spider, and I can't deal with it because I'm a total pansy when it comes to bugs.
And now I won't be able to sleep because it is lurking in my bag and I won't see when it leaves the bag and then it will crawl on my face when I'm sleeping.
Transcription of the profanity I pronounced upon discovery: