No replies to this topic

[DarkJuno]

From the earth to the moon, from London to Ulan Bataar, and throughout the globe, it's time for another exciting episode of....

DarkJuno: Roving Reporter!!!

Cheesy, 50's style Announcer: Yes DarkJuno, with his faithful sidekicks Foyusa and Freaky Psychic Bird, scours the Gaming Globe for news and interviews wherever the winds take them! From Hyrule to Mobius, through the Lunar Cry or Day of Darkness, it's...

DarkJuno: Rooooving Reporter!!!

Today's episode: Live and Lurch!

Cheesy, 50's style announcer: The free-falling, unrealistically shaped space station Ark. Abandoned 50 years ago after the hostile take over and shut down by the Government United Nations (G.U.N.), it is the site of an epic battle that will determine the fate of the Earth as we speak. However, this really dosen't matter to our intrepid trio as we join them...

DJ: Oy....what a ride.....

-surveys the crashed and basically unsalvagable Ragnorak like ship in the docking bay-

Foyusa: ...See? I told you FPB was even worse then me when it came to getting us here...
FPB: Yeah yeah, whatever, but at least we're on time...
DJ: Yeah, in time for the total destruction of Earth on the spacestation that's going to cause said destruction...
Cheesy, 50's style Announcer: Guys, you're one...
Foyusa: Eh?
DJ: Oh right, um, -cough- Yo all you peeps in TV land, what is up mah homie G's!? This be the crunkest show on the tube, DarkJuno: Roving Reporter, and I be DJ..
FPB: For goodness' sake, what the hell was that!?
DJ: -shrugs-
Foyusa....well, and I'm Foyusa!
FPB: FPB....
DJ:..And today, we're here on the derelict space colony ARK, to find and interview Sonic the Hedgehog, as well as mah main man Knuckles!
Foyusa: Here we go with the "Main Man" thing again...
DJ: ....and see if we can run into anyone else here.
FPB: Yeah, it's not like they aren't busy fighting hundred foot long ultimate life forms and saving the Earth. Nooo, I'm sure they'll take the time to talk to three punk reporters....
DJ: Ya know, your sarcasm is beginning to annoy me...
FPB: Tell that to your equally sarcastic girlfriend.
DJ: Uh....
Foyusa: -makes a whipping sound-
DJ: ......let's just get on with this, okay!?

-later-

FPB: Heh, and you say my navigating's horrible...
DJ: Hey, this is a big colony, what do you expect?
Foyusa: Pretty much that you'd get us lost for about 15 minutes.....
DJ: Whatever...ah, here we are!

-standing in front of a big sliding door-

FPB: HaHa! It only took him 10 minutes! Pay up Foyusa ol' buddy!
Foyusa: .......
DJ: Geez...I feel real special.....anyway...

-the three fall back as the door opens, as black blur rushing by down the corridor and out of sight. Meanwhile, from inside the room, a pink hedgehog in a red dress is surprised and cocks her eyebrows=

FPB: Hey, it's Amy Rose!
Amy: Hey....how'd you three get here?
Foyusa: We're the press, we can go anywhere
-points at the camera-
Amy: Cool! Is this going to be on TV?
DJ: Well, you could say that....
Amy: Hi mom!
Foyusa, whispering to FPB: -why does everyone say that?-
FPB: -shrug-
DJ: Anywho,
-kneels down with microphone-
DJ: So Amy, what are you thoughts and feelings pertainging to the dire situation at hand?
Amy:....Huh?
FPB: He asks, are you worried at all at what looks like the end of the world?
Amy: Well, yeah! But I know My hero Sonic will be able to save the world again! One day I'm going to marry him!
Foyusa: Uh, right...
Amy: Really! He shys away now, but I love him, and he'll be mine.....
-Amy sighs and hearts begin floating in the air around her-
DJ: -coughobsessedcough-
Amy: What?
DJ: Erm, nothing. Anyway, where exactly is Sonic anyway?
Amy: Oh, he's down at the Canon's Core with Knuckles, and I think Shadow went down there too.
Foyusa: Shadow!? The Evil Malcontent hedgehog who only looks like Sonic and isn't a clone?
Amy: Yeah, but I think I got to him there. Gotta start using the feminine charms and wiles for good and not just evil!
FPB: I hear you there sister!
-Amy and FPB High Five-
DJ: Uh....thanks for your time Amy, and good luck!
Amy: No problem!

-later-

DJ: -pant pant cough- Man, you'd think with the colony about to burn up those weirdo water things would go and try and save themselves instead of trying to kill everyone...
FPB: True....though you gotta say those GUN robots are persistant...
Foyusa: Hmmm...if GUN stands for Government United Nations, is that some subliminal Japanese message that the UN is evil or what?
DJ: Not likely....they probably wouldn't be able to quit bickering long enough to make an army anyway.
FPB: He's got a point there...
Voice: Hey, who's there? Amy?

-Rouge walks out from behind a corner, walking up to the trio-
DJ: Um, hi there....
Foyusa: Whoa, hey....

-DJ and Foyusa perched on his shoulder have to look down at the bat, whom they both instantly decide from the, uh, view is decidedly un aerodynamic-

FPB: -sighs-
-slaps the two with her wing-
FPB: Men...
DJ: Uh, anyway, Rouge the Bat! Government agent and renowned jewel hunter!
Rouge: Who wants to know? -sees camera as DJ kneels down- Hi mom!
FPB: Again....
DJ: So Rouge, do you have any feelings towards this impending disaster.
Rouge: Well, obviously! The world's about to be destroyed! Why wouldn't I! My only regret is not having been able to seek out any jewels that excite me, if you catch my drift.
DJ: Erm, what?
Rouge: You know, the family variety?
Foyusa: Uh, huh?
Rouge: Something Knuckles might be able to provide me with?
DJ: The Master Emerald?
Foyusa: The Chaos or Hyper Emeralds?
Rouge:...you could say that...
FPB: Oy..
Foyusa: Hmmm...whatever happend to the Hyper Emeralds anyway?
DJ: Beats me...probably just another plot hole from the wacky world of videogames.
Rouge: Videogames? What about those?
DJ: Uh, nothing, nothing at all
-laughs nervously with Foyusa and FPB-
Rouge: Uh-huh, I'm sure...
DJ: Erm...anyway, you wouldn't happend to know where Sonic, Knuckles, and Shadow are, would you?
Rouge: Oh sure, down the hall to the left. You'll get to the core. Just watch out for the Biolizard!
DJ: Thanks!

-even later-

Foyusa: Hmm, do you think we should just go in?
DJ: Why not?

-DJ opens the door, only to be blown back by a large, black ball of energy, slamming him against the other wall in a shimmering explosion-

DJ: Ar....
FPB: 'Cause of that....
Foyusa: Gee, that must've hurt...
DJ: Ya think!?
Biolizard: GYAHHH!!!!
DJ: Eh?

-The three, including the deep fried DJ, peek into the room, to see a gigantic orange lizard disappearing in a bright flash of light-

Foyusa: Wow, producers must've splurged for spcial effects on this one....
Shadow: Hey, who are you three?

-the trio runs forward through the now empty giant room towards Shadow-

DJ: Heya there! I'm DJ, this is Foyusa, and FPB, from DarkJuno: Roving Reporter!
Shadow: Say...you three are the ones that covered that big giant orgy the SSBM fighters had!
Foyusa: Uh, close, we left before that started....
DarkJuno: Eh-heh..anyway, Shadow, where are Sonic and Knuckles?
Shadow: Up there, at the Master Emerald Shrine Replica. Follow me!

-the trio and Shadow run up the stairs of the ancient looking stone monument, as they spot at the top-

DJ: Sonic! And Knuckles!
Foyusa: Man I love that game...
Sonic: What? Who're you!?
Shadow: I think they're the press.
Knuckles: Wow, you guys are fast....
Sonic: The press? -waves at the camera- Hi mom!
DJ: Say Sonic, got time for an interview?
Sonic: Sure! Why no...

-the colony begins to shake and shudder, as if in an earthquake-

Foyusa: Something tells me an earthquake on an orbiting spacestation's a bad thing...
FPB: No sh*t Sherlock! How'd you figure that out!?
Knuckles: Well, the Master Emerald neutralized the Chaos emeralds, so we should stop falling....
Shadow: Yet we still are....

-the PA system crackles to life as Dr. Eggman's voice coems through-

Eggman: Sonic! The the the life life life form has has has be be be....

Foyusa: What the hell is Robotnik saying?
FPB: It's Eggman!
Foyusa: Robotnik!
FPB: Eggman!
Foyusa: Robotnik!
FPB: Eggman!
Foyusa: Robotnik!
FPB: Eggman!
Foyusa: Ivo Robotnik damn it!
FPB: It's Eggman!!!!!!!

-the two argue for awhile-

DJ: Geez, who cares!!!! He's Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik then!
Foyusa and FPB: ...that'll work....
DJ: ...Hey, where'd Sonic and Shadow go?
Knuckles: Oh, they transformed with the Chaos Emeralds and are out there fighting Final Hazard! C'mon, follow me to the control room!

-quickly-

Foyusa: Hmm, considering how it took us forever to get to the core, we sure got back here real quick....
DJ: Eh, this is already running too long, so I had to cut it.
FPB: Ah...
Knuckles: Hey guys! How are the two of them doing?

-everyone moves to the window to watch-

Rouge: Not good, we're going to impact Earth in less then 3 minutes...say Knuckles....
Knuckles: Yes Rouge?
Rouge: Come here for a second....

-Knuckles shrugs and walks over to Rouge is in a dark corner-

Tails: Man, I hope they make it!
Eggman: So do I...
DJ: Eh? Why are you two so chummy now? Just an hour ago Eggman tried to actually kill Sonic!
Eggman: Er, sure, but without Earth, what am I going to takeover?
Tails: Besides, now's not the time...hey, how'd you three get here?
DJ, Foyusa, FPB: Press.
Tails: Oh....
w/ Eggman: Hi mom!
DJ: Geez, does everyone have to do that!?
Foyusa: Eh, well....
Final Hazard: GYAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
DJ: Wha?

-the group squints as the window is engulfed in a bright flash of light. As quickly as it begins, it ends-

Foyusa: Hey! What gives? Weren't we spiraling down unctrollably towards Earth, ready to take out all human and Anthro life as we know it?
Eggman: Yes, we were.....
Amy: Yay!!! This means they did it! Sonic and Shadow did it!!! Er, I mean, Sonic and Shadow better not have done it, I want...uh, they saved the world!!!
-everyone, save the missing Knuckles and Rouge, raises an eyebrow-
Amy: Uh, what?
Tikal: They start so young now...
Metal Sonic: -Beeps-
Big: Froggy!
Chaos: .......
DJ: The hell!?
Tikal: Sorry, couldn't help it...it's such a pain to only be a 2 player character....
Tails: Two player what?
Foyusa: Uh, nothing, she means nothing at all!

-Sonic walks in the door, as everyone turns-

Amy: Sonic...Shadow?
-Sonic shakes his head and turns to give Rouge the jewel from Shadow's glove....but can't find her-
Sonic: Eh? Where'd she...aw, anyway.....

-everyone, 2 player characters included, move to the windows anjd look down, acting sad-

DJ: And so, it is with this somber tone that we leave you today viewers. Shadow, a malcontent and brave hedgehog who saved the same world he was trying to and almost destroyed. This is DJ....
Foyusa: ....Foyusa......
FPB: ....and Freaky Psychic Bird......
DJ: .............saying goodnight,a nd join us again next time on.............

Cheesy, 50's style Announcer: DARKJ
All: SHHHHHH!!!!!! We're mourning here!
Cheesy, 50's style Announcer: -sorry- DarkJuno: Roving Reporte......

Rouge: Yes!!! Thos are the jewels I was talking about!!!!!!!!!!!
DJ:................
Amy: Darn, I want those jewels too, except from Sonic!
DJ:...........-sigh- shoot me now....