No replies to this topic

[DarkJuno]

Lights and Sounds adorn the festivities of the 89th Annual Station Square Thanksgiving Day Parade, all on NRR!

-Introduction in Mizhuo, formerly of Tethe'alla, now of the reintegrated world. It's early in the morning, as the sun is just barely coming out over the horizon, punctuating the silhouette of the next-in-line Chief of the Village, Sheena Fujibayashi, as she does her morning routine, expertly executing her moves as she holds the single, perfect seal in her hand. As the camera pulls into the scene, a ninja runs up to Sheena, and with a bow, exclaims with a slight huff-

Ninja: Sheena! My apologies, but they're calling for you back in the village!

Sheena: Him? What's going on?

Ninja: I'm not quite sure, they just called for you...they wouldn't be doing so unless it were important.

Sheena: Yeah, I suppose that's true. Come on, let's go!

-with a nod, the ninja takes off, as the woman follows, the "tails" of her outfit flailing in the wind as they dart down the hill to the quaint, Japanese-like village. As it turns out, a large group of the townspeople are gathered about the simplistic well near the edge of the village, as the duo come to a halt-

Sheena: Okay, what's going on here?

Man #1: Sheena! I'm sorry, we needn't bother you about this.

-the man smacks another one upside the head and hisses-

Man #1: See? Now we've bothered Sheena!

Man #2: Hey, it's your fault in the first place - you're the one bothering her!

Sheena: Wait...what's this all about?

Man #2: He dropped my bag down the well and now refuses to go get it!

Sheena: ......-looks at ninja- THIS is why you came after me?

Ninja: Uh...I'm sorry, I had no idea it was something so trivial...

Sheena: -sigh- I ought to punish the both of you for having such a petty argument, but frankly, I don't feel like it right now...

Man #2: So long as he gets my bag back out...

Man #1: No way! It's your own fault for throwing it aside right into the well!

Man #2: So now it's my fault?

Sheena: Enough!

-Having had enough, she leans on the well, and glares at the two bickering men on the other side-

Sheena: Look, I'd think you two could figure this out on your own, but if you don't, both of you are going down this w-oooahhh!!!

-Naturally, the well crumbles as the ninja loses her balance, and ends up tumbling down into the well-

Crowd: Sheena!!!

-As far as Sheena's concerned, while she's not screaming, she is more then a little surprised as she flies down the well, and with a cold, stinging splash, she hits the water down below...-









?????? ?????? ????????? ??: ....Fujibayashi.........Ms. Fujibayashi.........Sheena?

-the camera fades back into view, as it shows Sheena, inexplicably dressed properly for cold weather, lying on top of what looks to be the crafts table. Blinking, she rubs her eyes and glances at her new surroundings - a modern metropolis with towering skyscrapers, the streets of which are adorned with Christmas decorations-

Sheena: ...wha? Hey, where am I!?

Unseen Female Stagehand #1: Uh...you're in Station Square...you know, to co-host the Thanksgiving Day Parade with DJ and Millenia?

Sheena: -blank stare-

UFS#1: -to self- Man, I knew I shouldn't have let you take that nap - aloud- Erm, anyway, just hurry, the two of them are about to make their entrance, so go that way! -runs off-

Sheena: Wait! What about...?

-to her dismay, the stagehand disappears in the crowd, leaving Sheena to look over in the direction she was pointing to-

Sheena: Well...all right... -runs in the opposite direction-



-Festive music plays, as the camera pulls out and begins to show the parade route and people along it-

Non-Cheesy, 50's Style Announcer: Live from Downtown, it's the Non-Roving Reporter's broadcast of the 89th Annual Station Square Thanksgiving Day Parade! Along with special guest host Sheena Fujibayashi, get ready for a trail of fun and merriment! Now here are your hosts, DarkJuno and Millenia!

-as the camera pans past the usual broadcast stand along the corner of the street, it also flies in to the revolving door of the nearby seaside hotel, as the music changes to that of The Non-Roving Reporter. From within the hotel come both DJ and Millenia, dressed in winter gear (the latter in her now traditional headband as well), as both push on their sides of the revolving door. Seeing as how it doesn't budge, the two glare at each other for a moment and argue on whose side they should come out from, until DJ points behind the feisty red head and Millenia falls for the trick, as the reporter pushes forward and successfully exits the building. Unfortunately for him, Millenia comes out as well, flying out of his side and knocking him to the ground in a heap. With much grumbling from one and grinning from the other, DJ brushes his jacket off as the two smile and make their way down to the booth, waving to the crowd as their music plays.

Meanwhile, in the News van...-

Non-Cheesy, 50's Style Announcer: ....is this a parade, or a wrestling entrance?

UFS#3: Given how it's the two of them, maybe both...

-Back at the booth, the two are placing on their headsets-

DJ: Hi everyone, and Happy Thanksgiving! It's a beautiful, chilly day here at Station Square, and like always, I'm DJ!

Millenia: Of course, I'm Millenia, and frankly, this is way too cold for me.

DJ: What? Come on now, it gets colder then this even in Texas, it's nothing!

Millenia: Well, whatever the case, this is sure to be a great day as the parade is getting ready to start, though...our guest commentator is late again this year.

DJ: Yeah, though something tells me that after I mention how I hope we don't have to start without her, she'll...

-right on cue, Sheena's theme from Tales of Symphonia starts to play, as a now not so confused Sheena walks out of the revolving doors with much less fuss then the other two. As she waves to the crowd, she makes her way up the steps to her seat in the booth-

DJ: ....boy I called that.

Millenia: Dream on! Anyway, please welcome Sheena Fujibayashi! Happy Thanksgiving Sheena!

Sheena: -slips on her headset- Thanks, and I hope you two are having a great one so far too! Though...I don't celebrate Thanksgiving...

Millenia: Oh, that's ri...wait a minute! Darn it DJ, that's two years in a row our guest host doesn't even celebrate the holiday!

DJ: Hey, neither do you - you just drop by ever year for the food.

Millenia: ....fair enough.

Sheena: Hold on a second, I may not celebrate it, but I'm more then glad to do this for the show!

DJ: And don't think we don't appreciate it!

Millenia: Yeah, the rest of you stick around too, because we'll be back right after this!





-a dark, stormy night, as a lone candle flickers, casting eerie shadows along the walls of a dreary, once magnificent room now dilapidated by time. The lone figure of Ivy Valentine sits in an old chair, leaning by the candle and doesn't make direct contact with the camera, her long strands of white hair covering her pale face-

Ivy: My life...has been cursed since my conception. My father is the bloodthirsty puppet of the malicious Soul Edge, and its blood flows through my veins. My adoptive parents were once a family of splendor and wealth, but the Count went insane in his pursuit of the Soul Edge, as the coffers of the Valentine family ran dry. The Countess withered away after his death, and on her deathbed, her shell of her former self informed me that I was not their true child, and in my search for my true origins, I was swayed and seduced by the dark side, as I went to a bloody killing spree to avenge my Father. I then discovered that the malicious Cervantes De Leon was the one who was my biological father, and this tore my already fragile psyche into shreds, as my mind tried to formulate a reason to live. Now, I walk the earth , slaying all tainted by the Soul Edge, including children, and to end it by taking my own life. Now that my quest is near an end, it's the only news that I might consider good...

-with a creepy look, the English dominatrix looks up straight at the camera-

Ivy: ...I just saved a ton of money on Horse & Carriage Insurance by switching to Geico.

-corny music-

Overly Happy Announcer: And you, too, can save lots of money by switching over to Geico! Just give us a call or visit us today!





DJ: ...wow. I didn't know they were around in the 16th Century...

Sheena: Really? They're trying to sell wagon insurance to us in Mizhuo for years now!

Millenia: Yeah, plus they tried to sell Valmar and Granas chariot Insurance too!

DJ: For some reason, I'm amused and frightened at once...

-loud horn-

Millenia: ...and that sound means the parade is starting!

DJ: Indeed it does, and right off the bat, we're starting off with this year's Grand Marshall, Meryl Silverburgh!

Millenia: ...why her?

DJ: Well, it's because...um... -digs through notes- Actually, I have no clue whatsoever.

Sheena: Heh, well, I do know that the car she's sitting in is the brand new Maibatsu Monstrosity convertible, the two lane wide harbinger of ecological destruction now with the feeling of the breeze in your hair. Frankly, I can't see how this sort of vehicle could be any help.

DJ: Eh, it's not....it's basically a "mine's bigger!" sort of deal.

Millenia: Whatever the case, behind Meryl as she rides that...thing, is the Station Square High Marching Band! Can you believe that this is their 55th year in the parade?

Sheena: Wow, and you guys have only been doing this for what, 3?

DJ: Yeah, this is our 3rd of hopefully many years covering this event.

Millenia: At least until you have a wife and kids pulling you away?

DJ: ...yeah, that too. Anyway, lookie here!

Sheena: That's probably the biggest bird I've ever seen...looks a little too cooked too.

DJ: Yup, once again, we're joined by the cooked turkey float - this year, it's deep fried! Mm-mmm...

Millenia: ...deep fried?

DJ: ...Texas, remember?

Millenia: Oh, right....

DJ: Anyway, on it are a couple of our own turkeys, the rest of the NRR Crew, Foyusa and...wait, where are Sailor FPB and Mai?

Sheena: What? That Shiranui girl?

Millenia: Yeah, her...where are they?

-on cue, two side dishes come zooming out from around the corner, driven by the missing women-

Sheena: Heh, look at that!

DJ: Oy, I can't believe what I'm seeing...

Millenia: What, is it wrong for Mai to be driving a bowl of cranberries?

DJ: No, but Sailor FPB driving a bowl of gravy is a bit odd.

Sheena: Hey, at least she's not driving around the pumpkin pie!

DJ: Bah, whatever...

Sheena: Still, with all the new wrinkles and such that were added to this bird, it now weighs 6 tons - a full ton more then the last two years.

Millenia: Now that's a big bird...I wonder how big the pot needed to cook that thing was?

DJ: Heck, I'd like to know how much oil it needed!

Sheena: Well, up next are the Balamb Belles, back from last year and lighting up the streets again with their quick dance moves.

Millenia: Yup, as we watch these "Dancing SeeDs" perform, I remember how Squall first rolled his eyes at this whole ordeal.

DJ: Yup, it took Selphie months to convince him that dancing was a boon to soldiers, as it keeps them light on their feet - plus it does help morale if you think about it. As far as I'm concerned though, I'd like to know if it hurts doing the splits on concrete like that.

Sheena: Eh, the splits aren't that hard - it's fairly easy anyway.

DJ: Well sorry, I'm not a lithe ninja that can bounce from rooftop to rooftop.

Sheena: That's a misconception - we jump from roof to roof, not bounce.

DJ: .......

Sheena: Besides, you're a guy, I'm sure Millenia here could if she tried!

Millenia: Heh, tough luck! I'm over 3,000 years old, and even if I still wore my skirt instead of these things, I'd probably break something trying!

Sheena: Heh, at least you've tried!

DJ: Wait....so Millenia, you can fly, suck other entities' souls out, blind people, and bring Armageddon to individuals, yet you can't do the splits?

Millenia: Nope, now leave it at that.

DJ: Fine, sure. Besides, we've got another staple of this parade coming up, it's Boco the Chocobo, and this year he's got a friend!

Millenia: More like about a dozen! Along with his new fellow balloon Koko the Chocobo, he's being pulled by a group of pullers riding Chocobos!

Sheena: Aw, we don't have anything like this back home...well, Lloyd has Noishe whom we all rode around, but...nothing like these guys.

DJ: Yeah, it seems everyone wants chocobos, which is good for Choco Bill's, who, like always, is sponsoring this parade and provided these guys!

Millenia: Hey, aren't those Choco Billy and Chole leading the birds?

DJ: Yup, they've gotten big, hm?

Sheena: Not as big as Boco and Koko here - all in all, they've got more hot air in them then the entire Church of Martel Papacy back in the day.

DJ: Well, that's definitely a lot of air...

Millenia: Speaking of hot air, we've got another float, this time from the Brotherhood of Evil Villains!

Sheena: Wow, really? I didn't notice the screaming demons and rotting corpses...

DJ: Not to mention the dark storm cloud hovering over the paper mache volcano...

Millenia: Actually, that sign right up front says it's them.

Sheena: Uh....right...

DJ: Anyway, as we see this come own the street, we'll be right back after another word from our sponsors!





-camera pans in on a slowly rotating space station, as very blatantly seen in one of the shuttle docks is Samus Aran's ship. Samus is seen, in her blue under suit, drumming her fingers at a counter while the cashier totals up her purchases, which consists mostly of spare parts and things that can bring things to horrible, bloody deaths-

Samus: Hurry it up already...

Cashier: All right, all right, are you paying cash or credit?

Samus: -raises an eyebrow- ...cash? What is this, 2010?

Cashier: Oh, uh, I mean, Debit or Credit?

Samus: -sigh- Credit....damn Feddies haven't paid me yet...

Cashier: You a Federation soldier?

Samus: ...you could say that...anyway, here. -hands over card-

Cashier: -takes card- Are you sure about this?

-suddenly, Space Pirates burst forth from various parts of the station, running about-

Cashier: I mean, with all those extra charges...

-A Plasma Trooper fries a technician running and screaming-

Cashier: ...the hidden fees...

-An Elite Pirate walks about, squashing space tourists under its feet-

Cashier: ...and all those overages, is this the best thing to do?

-Space Pirates swarm the store, standing behind Samus menacingly-

Samus: Don't worry, it's a Capital One card.

Space Pirates: -collectively groan in their language, stomp their feet, and sadly sulk out of the store-

Announcer: Don't want any extra or hidden fees? Try Capital One today!

Ice Trooper: -Zzzpt zzz pzzzzt!- (What's in your wallet!?)





Millenia: ...and I, for one, can vouch for it! I hate to speak ill of my own family, but those darn Valmar spawns wouldn't leave me alone 'till I got one!

DJ: Well, with that comment, welcome back, and just in time to see the return of the Final Fantasy Main Characters' Council, this year riding in on a convoy of Ciparfs!

Millenia: Wow, so that's why I saw these big guys lounging around the beach last night!

Sheena: Well, these guys need to be around water to survive, so it's fortunate that Station Square is near such a beautiful pristine beach, even in the winter! This is a lot better then that gaudy Altamira.

DJ: Yup, we can thank the most recent FFMCC member Yuna for the Ciparfs, as she stands with X Representative Tidus.

Millenia: Like always, Terra is the only one there without a significant other, still being the bachelorete of the group!

Sheena: Better then always being pursued by someone...

DJ: No, actually, Edgar always tries to get on her good side to woo her....it's not working, she still only calls him a friend.

Sheena: And calling him a friend gives him hope that's not there?

Millenia: Yup. You know about this all too well.

Sheena: More then I'd like to...

DJ: Still, we have here Fighter, Firion, Hero III, Cecil Harvey, Bartz Klauser, Terra Branford, Cloud Strife, Squall Leonhart, Zidane Tribal, Tidus, and Yuna, with their significant others and/or good friends White Mage, Maria, Heroine III, Rosa Farell, Reina Charlotte Tycoon, Tifa Lockhart, Rinoa Heartilly with cute little Iris Leonhart, Queen Garnet "Dagger" til Alexandros XVII, and, uh, Yuna and Tidus. -whew-

Millenia: No wonder they needed four Ciaprfs to hold these guys!

Sheena: Well, coming up after them is the perpetually girly float of the United Bishounen Association.

Millenia: Wooo yeah! Mm-Mm-Mmmm!

DJ: Millenia, control yourself, this is a family show...

Sheena: Besides, those guys are way too girly anyway...it's almost embarrassing to see them.

DJ: The fact that they're on a float with giant cherry blossoms and wind to blow their hair around is a bit weird too.

Millenia: Bah, leave me alone...besides, you're a member DJ!

DJ: Honorary member. I'm not one of them.

Sheena: Well, your hair says otherwise...

DJ: .......

Millenia: Well, at least I'm not the only one here!

-the camera pans to the swooning women in the audience along the parade route, several screaming and throwing various, uh, garments at the float-

Sheena: -sigh- This is pathetic....

DJ: Very...anyway, moving on, someone call Samus, we've got ourselves a giant Metroid!

Millenia: Ack! Watch out, it's here to suck us all dry!!!

Sheena: Not likely! The only thing here is that these poor guys carrying it around might be blown away if the wind picks up anymore...

Millenia: Still, it's a very ingenious balloon, that looks almost exactly like a real one, except a lot bigger.

DJ: Heh, maybe it's a Mochtroid?

Millenia: .........

Sheena: .........

DJ: ........Mochtroid? The Space Pirates tried...bah, nevermind!

Sheena: Heh, following up the giant alien is another group, this time it's Princess Zelda and Princess Peach and their courts, gliding down the street in style with their float promoting their new book, "Princesses in Pink," or "P.i.P." Personally, that's way too much pink for me...

DJ: Says the ninja wearing lavender...

Sheena: Hey, I'll have you know that I'm perfectly hidden in my normal outfit...

Millenia: Besides, it's not like we don't know another female ninja who dresses even less like one?

DJ: Eh, true enough....I never can understand how Mai can remain so stealthy in her get-up.

Sheena: Sorry, those are secrets none of us can tell.

DJ: It was worth a shot. Anyway, the book is a non-fiction book hand written long hand style by both Zelda and Peach, about what it means to be a sovereign of a kingdom and on the fascinating and ultimately amusing stories the two can tell about their lives, even placing silver linings on some of the more downtrodden events we in the public have seen on the news.

Millenia: Yeah, we've got an advance copy that I grabbed right away, and it's pretty good. It's not as good as Squall's book, but it's still pretty nice. I especially love the story of how Zelda met with Garnet at the...

Sheena: Hey, keep it down, we haven't even seen the ads yet at home, so don't spoil it.

DJ: Just be sure to hand that book over when you're done.

Millenia: Get in line, Mai and FPB already got dibs on it.

DJ: Oh well, we gotta move on anyway. Hey Sheena, here's a balloon you'll recognize!

Sheena: Oh no, it's one of those crazy KATZ guys, jumbo sized!

Millenia: Yup, and to tell the truth, they're more then just a little creepy.

Sheena: Try having to live with them and do deal with them. I'm a little confused by how they can be born like that myself...

DJ: Well, if there can be creatures with three heads and five tails, or a dragon with eight legs, eight eyes, and eight tails, a thing that looks like a person in a catsuit's not that strange...

Sheena: When you put it that way, you're right....but I like this next float better!

DJ: Aw man, sweet! It's the "Old School Crew!"

Millenia: Hey, that's Pac-Man and the Misses isn't it?

DJ: Not to mention that ship from Space Invaders, the ball from Pong, and a whole host of other classics. Though I gotta say, it's good it's not that windy or these guys would be blown away just like that.

Millenia: Heh, we'll be right back after this!





-The Three Dumb Kids are walking around a random room, with DK#2 holding a weird device-

DK#2: Ya know, it's probably not a good idea to mess with this time device...

DK#3: Now, why would that be?

DK#1: Well, I don't know, there's just something wrong with messing with the very fabric of time and twisting it to our own fruitless purposes, and who knows what havoc may be wrought by our tampering?

-the other two look at him with strange glances-

DK#1: Erm, I mean, it might suck.

DK#3: Bah, worrywart! What could go wrong?

-inexplicably Link from OoT and, uh, the Prince of Persia leap out from behind a column-

PoP: Damn b*tch*s! Drop that sh...

Link: Geez, calm down! We're trying to teach them a lesson, not kill them!

PoP: Hmph!

DK#2: Whoa, it's Link and, uh, homeless Prince of Persia?

DK#1: ....sweet?

PoP: Go fu....

Link: PRINCE!

PoP:.......

Link: .......anyway, we hear you were about to mess with the very fabric of time and space itself?

DK#3: You bet I was!

PoP: Dammit kid, you're a friggin' moron! I was once a happy little pal like you, but then I messed with time, and now I'm pissed off and ready to rip your liver out and wear it like a hat!!!!!

Link: -slugs the crazed Prince of Persia- Down boy! See, this is what could happen if you tamper with time!

DK#2: Damn, that's all the proof I need!

DK#1: Wait, you messed with time too Link, and all that caused was to put you in a position where your actions don't affect your descendents, so now you and Zelda can...

Link: ...that's not the point! Just don't mess with time!

DK#3: I'll take a chance!

PoP: Your funeral kid...

-DK#3 presses a button, and in a flash, is replaced with a rock wearing his clothes-

Link: See? Now he's a rock because he did something in the past!

DK#2: ....how the hell can you change the past so you turn into a rock in the present?

DK#1: I know, this doesn't make any sense in any sort of scientific or religious context...

PoP: ...I thought you three were supposed to be dumbasses.

Link: Well -put foot on rock- this one certainly is now!

-stupid laughs abound-

Link: So remember, don't mess with time, because you might end up being a rock!

DK#1: Thanks Link and, uh, Prince of Persia...

All but PoP: ...and now we know!!!!

Pop: ........can I kill something yet?





Sheena: I, for one, don't intend to ever touch time after seeing that, though with that, we welcome you back to the show!

DJ: Just in time for the grand finale, because down comes Santa being pulled by his team of Stantler!

Millenia: Yup, jolly ol' St. Nicholas, this year played by none other then Siegfreid Schtauffen!

Sheena: Wait, I thought it was always a member of the Pokemon League that played Santa?

DJ: Not this year, for some reason. Still, he fits the role despite his long girly blonde locks.

Millenia: So long as he doesn’t turn, of course...

-on cue, "Siegfreid Claus" suddenly grabs his own neck and with bugging eyes, collapses into the sleigh - only to be replaced with a fire and brimstone Nightmare brandishing the Soul Edge-

DJ: Crap, this can't be good.

Millenia: Especially not for the kids sitting on that sleigh with him.

-sure enough, Nightmare is holding one of the kids with his large right hand, threatening to run him through with the Soul Edge - however, just as before, Nightmare collapses, being replaced by a dazed Siegfreid rising from the floor and shaking his head-

Sheena: Wow, that's got to be a hell of a split personality.

Millenia: So long as no one dies, eh, it works. Though I hope there's a different Santa for the department store in town...

DJ: Heh, with that, I'd like to thank Sheena Fujibayashi for joining us here today!

Sheena: No problem guys, I had a blast!

Millenia: Still, we can't end without first giving you a parting gift!

DJ: Nope! -hands Sheena one of the new NRR Baseball caps with the new logo-

Sheena: Ah, thanks guys! I don't know how much use it'll get while training, but thanks a lot!

DJ: No problem Sheena! And for all of you out there, thanks for joining us once again, and for Millenia and Sheena, I want to wish all of you a Happy Thanksgiving!

Millenia: Unless you don't celebrate it!

DJ: Erm, yeah, then just have a good day and thanks for putting up with us! See ya everyone!

Millenia: Bye!!!









































"Sheena.....Sheena.......Sheena! Are you okay!?"

-like last year, a wavy fade in to the final corny scene, as the camera shows a soaked Sheena laying on the ground, seemingly waking up-

Man #2: Ah, good, she's waking up!

Sheena: Ugh....hey, where'd the booth go?

Ninja: Um...booth? Did you hit your head on the way down Sheena?

Sheena: -regaining her bearings and blinking- Oh...ah, nothing, I just had the most bizarre dream, that's all...

Man #1: Are you okay though?

Sheena: Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.

-as Sheena stands to her feet, something drops from out of her outfit-

Sheena: Him?

-she bends over and picks up the totally bone dry NRR hat and begins to laugh-

Ninja: ...eh? What's going on Sheena?

Sheena: Heh. Nothing. -puts on the hat- Everything's fine, don't worry.
-with a smile, the cap clad Sheena turns and walks away, as the scene fades away-