Due to overarching demand, I have finally ceded and will now create a guide on dating. As you will have already guessed, I am incredibly talented with the ladies, and I will now share, bit by bit, how I have managed to do it. This will come to be known as a "bible" across the generations, shared by me, your guru.
This is me
As you can see, I am incredible. How the ladies stayed away at first I will never know. But even you, one day, may manage to look this good. And, with my advice you will be magnetic, the ladies, and metallic objects, will be attracted to you more and more.
Chapter 1. Talking to girls.
Why go back this far? I hear you ask. Well, its simple. I see so many of you guys out there who have no idea how to even talk to girls, let alone date them. We have to start with the basics. Here are my 4 basic rules.
Rule number one: Talk about yourself, not her.
It is key in developing a relationship with a member of the other gender, to get across that you care about issues that matter. She needs to know how much you care about politics, or football, or whatever is on your mind at the time. You must talk about how you see the world, and if she tries to talk about something similar, its vital that you speak over her until she is quiet, so she can come to know how confident you are in your own opinions, and how much what you think matters.
Rule number two: Do not maintain eye contact.
When a lady gets ready for her day, if she's in a nice dress, she wants you to look at her. She wants you to look at her assets, wherever they lie, and if you instead look at her face, she starts to wonder what is wrong with her figure. So, in order to make a girl feel comfortable, you must look at whatever you find spell binding. If that is her bum, look at that, her chest, keep your eyes peeled to it. This shows you are interested in the effort she has put in to the way she looks.
Rule number three: Do not offer to buy her anything.
Girls feel like they need to be able to survive independently in this modern day world, so it is important that if you are at a bar/eatery, NOT, to offer to purchase anything for her. She will view this as an immediate insult and refuse to acknowledge you further.
Rule number four: Do not acknowledge her thoughts.
Girls look at guys who listen to them as sisters, so though you may find the topic of conversation interesting and her knowledge of butterflies incredible, you must remember to not show that you care about what she may be saying, as stated in rule number one, if she starts to talk, you must talk over her. It is vital that you let her know that this is a one sided relationship, and she is the passive member of the relationship. Otherwise, she will think you are a woman.
So, those are my four rules about talking with the ladies. To deviate from these will lead to disaster. She needs to know that YOU are the boss. Or she'll say no.
In the next chapter, I will talk about what to wear and how to smell when the lady has accepted your invitation for a date.
Till then, Your dating Guru
BlobFish.
Edited by Goose, 19 June 2010 - 04:48 AM.
