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#1 Selena

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Posted 13 June 2010 - 11:40 PM

(note: The war writeups are not necessarily 100% canon for the Chronicles, but consider them as... well, a 'legend' of the reality. Things generally happen this way, but not everything really counts.)



THE WAR OF SAND AND ICE

June, 7 ADW


The streets of the Arbiter's Grounds were alive with happy discord as the entire city assembled to watch the parade that marched toward the gates. Red flower petals were thrown from rooftops and balconies as the procession went by, raining down on the citizens like a crimson blizzard. Professional drummers and trumpeters belted out fast-paced songs of glory while dancers followed behind with choreographed displays of physical grace. White stallions carried well-dressed men holding the red and gold banner of the Goddess.

The true highlight of the parade was not the elegant costumes nor the lively music, but the sight of the newest recruits of the Koridian military marching toward the gates of the city. Parents wept at the sight of their children leaving home for the first time, victims of newfound empty nest syndrome courtesy of Calatia's hostility and the resurrection of the Alliance. Teary-eyed maidens ran down the street in pale sundresses to follow the objects of their affection as far the military would allow.

The young men and women of the Koridian military left the capital with the rising sun at their backs, prepared to overtake the land as the golden rays of the sun overtake the morning shadows.

In the west, the famous Mead Hall of Calatia had been emptied of its last reserves by the rambunctious warriors of the mountains. It was the last day of peace for the citizen-soldiers of the frozen kingdom. The guards patrolling the outer wall of Snowpeak brought the festivities to a close by sounding their war horns at Selena's command. Those warriors who were departing the capital for the lands below assembled in the center of the city – some staggering, others still lucid enough to walk with a proper gait. Their fellow soldiers cheered them on and all began to sing lewd, boastful war songs to celebrate the imminent demise of their rival dorm.

The army marched out of the gates with banners and weapons held high, liberated from the chains of peace and finally allowed to charged into battle as they had desired to for so long. Those who would remain at Snowpeak to defend the capital assembled on the walls and, after giving one last shout, saluted their brethren.

The valleys below their mountains lay before them like treasure ripe for the taking, and Calatia's soldiers would crush all who would stand in their way of victory.


Calatian Front Lines – Upper Zora's River

With one hand on the reins of her black horse and the other holding aloft her spear, Selena trotted to the front of her cavalry formation and came to a halt. Behind her was the rest of Calatia's mounted soldiers – with Rova's unit containing bears rather than horses. She smiled contently, as the day had finally arrived when she would do battle with her rival's army.

“All my soldiers are ready, Lenabear!”

Selena frowned. “Rhia, don't use that name in front of the army. How many times to I have to tell you?”

“I created the nickname; I'll use it when I want.” So there.

“And Lesta brought some emergency mead supplies down from the mountains, right?” Selena asked.

To Selena's right, Khallos couldn't suppress a sour expression. “I just want it known that 'for victory celebrations only' is a horrible policy with our alcohol. I tried to get a taste and Rhia here whacked me on the back of the head. I have a bump.” He pointed to the top of his head. “Just look at it! You need to control that girl.”

“I wish.” Selena looked down the line, beyond Khallos. “Leo, are your men ready?”

Leo nodded, given a younger horse that was more his size. “Yes, ma'am. We await your orders.”

“Showsni and wisp both sent reports down via carrier hawks. We're ready to begin,” Selena said. She moved her horse into a casual walk, enjoying the sights of the river valley and the clear day that she had been blessed with. “We crush the Alliance soldiers between here and Koridai, and then we make the holy empire our bitch.”


Koridian Front Lines – Upper Gerudo River

Lord Steel of Umbra was at the front of Koridai's army with his Praetorian, the sun beating down against his back. While he was eager to get the war started and rid the lands of the Goddess's enemies, a foul mood had come over him. With a sneer, he looked over his right shoulder and fixed his gaze upon Lord Solomon. He, of course, was in good spirits. The Goddess had elected to march her troops at Solomon's side. Not in front. Not behind. But side-by-side. It was a great honor to walk beside Chikara as an equal, and Steel was disappointed that that psychotic twit had been given the prize.

It didn't matter. He had other things to focus on.

“Shiima, my dear,” Steel said to the familiar officer at his left, “how are you feeling?”

His on-again, off-again flame smiled. She loved a good battle, but this was especially true after receiving magical enhancements from Chikara. “I couldn't be happier. I'm going to tear them into little bits!”

“And you aren't going to hesitate if you meet Selena or Rhiannon, are you?”

“They should have known better than to defy the Queen,” Shiima replied. “It's their own fault.”

“That's my girl.”

If she had any response in mind, it was cut off by the sound of two officers arguing amongst themselves not far from their location. Steel looked back to see what the trouble was.

“You didn't have to yell at me. I was just trying to make conversation.” It was Tempest – Koridai's wind manipulator.

“You seem to think I give a rat's ass,” replied a certain difficult old man. Oh, goddess, not the Baron. “Leave me alone!”

“I just wanted to know where you came from!”

“From your mother.”

“Now, that wasn't very--”

“I'm not out here to be nice, I'm out here because a bunch of my dead relatives came back to life armed with pikes and forced me out here. Do you think I like dealing with sacks of shit like you?”

“By the Goddess!”

Steel raised his sword. “Quiet in the ranks!”

Tempest, naturally, obeyed the order. The Baron shot him a glance that translated into 'ruin all my fun, won't you?' but complied. For the moment. Both were pikemen. Solomon's men, of course. Just his luck that they ended up marching closer to Steel than Solomon. That was probably done on purpose. What a juvenile.

“Sir, our scouts are ready to move out,” said Alabast, one of the other cavalry officers.

“Good,” Steel replied. That was more like it. “Let us begin. The Alliance was given their chance and Calatia has been begging for destruction from the start. We will not rest until we've torn down the last brick of the Snowpeak Ruins. Send out the scouts.”

“Yes, sir!”

#2 Twinrova

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Posted 14 June 2010 - 01:31 AM

In the west, the famous Mead Hall of Calatia had been emptied of its last reserves by the rambunctious warriors of the mountains. It was the last day of peace for the citizen-soldiers of the frozen kingdom. The guards patrolling the outer wall of Snowpeak brought the festivities to a close by sounding their war horns at Selena's command. Those warriors who were departing the capital for the lands below assembled in the center of the city some staggering, others still lucid enough to walk with a proper gait. Their fellow soldiers cheered them on and all began to sing lewd, boastful war songs to celebrate the


What? What are we celebrating?! o_0


Behind her was the rest of Calatia's mounted soldiers with Rova's unit containing bears rather than horses.


ilu Lena. <3

#3 Crimson Lego

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Posted 14 June 2010 - 08:58 AM

Will we able to have our own writeups as the war progresses?

#4 JRPomazon

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Posted 14 June 2010 - 10:08 AM

Might be better just to let Lena do the writing on this one. ;d

#5 Selena

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Posted 14 June 2010 - 02:45 PM

What? What are we celebrating?! o_0


I have no idea what you're talking about.




@Leo: Dorm war staff does the writeups, as per tradition. Don't worry, we'll treat you right.

Unless you're Masa or Steve.

#6 Egann

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Posted 14 June 2010 - 03:33 PM


What? What are we celebrating?! o_0


I have no idea what you're talking about.




@Leo: Dorm war staff does the writeups, as per tradition. Don't worry, we'll treat you right.

Unless you're Masa or Steve.


Just don't forget Lester's "special" ability.

;d :ph34r: :whistle: :P :twisted:

#7 SteveT

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Posted 19 June 2010 - 10:35 PM

Baron G'Way is a perfectly easy character to write battle descriptions for. I've done way worse to you in previous contests.

And think of Masa as a siege engine. There's even a picture to his profile to help.

Edited by SteveT, 19 June 2010 - 10:39 PM.


#8 Egann

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Posted 19 June 2010 - 10:55 PM

Baron G'Way is a perfectly easy character to write battle descriptions for. I've done way worse to you in previous contests.

And think of Masa as a siege engine. There's even a picture to his profile to help.


No, Steve. Lester is INFINITELY worse than anything you ever came up with.

Lester Payne's special abilities:

Lester doesn't die. He lives in the most ungraceful way imaginable. Whenever Lester's health reaches Zero, the GM is to click the "Go Rando!" button on Strong Bad Emails and use this as a spring-board for an amusing, thoroughly debasing big lipped alligator moment that will leave Lester alive (although, yes, captured) at the end of the day. If inspiration REALLY doesn't come, then both are to rush at each other, collide, fall face-first into an outgrowth of hallucinogenic mushrooms, and the narration will cut to the victor finding Lester all tied up and his or her pants down. If neither character can say anything witty, both are to say 'awkward' simultaneously....if Lester isn't gagged as well.


Oh, and he's androgynous and runs around in tights. On his horse.

#9 SteveT

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Posted 20 June 2010 - 09:08 AM

While, I commend you, I fear that your instructions are too detailed. Annoying, yes, and dependent on creativity, but there's a pattern, and it might not even come up.

One of my characters was an empty suit of armor whose only attack was people hurting themselves trying to punch it. Try writing an interesting battle scene around that..

Edited by SteveT, 20 June 2010 - 06:20 PM.


#10 Nevermind

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Posted 20 June 2010 - 09:16 AM

I had a rooster, who could talk - though rarely chose to - and his only attack was his morning crow.

#11 Showsni

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Posted 20 June 2010 - 10:51 AM

Stupid impervious suits of armour and their ability to last for nearly ever. :P

#12 Selena

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Posted 20 June 2010 - 03:48 PM

Don't forget the cigar smoking noble cat who was living in a quasi-gay marriage with a towel-obsessed Captain Caveman.

I say 'quasi' because we never figured out the gender of Caveman.


Steve has indeed done worse.

#13 Egann

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Posted 20 June 2010 - 06:30 PM

So...objective is to make life HARD for the staffers? HMMM.

But yeah. empty suit of armor is hard to beat.

#14 SteveT

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Posted 20 June 2010 - 08:05 PM

To be fair, Hobo Sue was Masa's character.