Name: Valentine Charity Ericks
Race: Human
Current age: 25
Occupation: Wonderer
Weapon(s): A long rapier called The Rose Throne and two daggers
Appearance: He has a light build, long curly black hair, and steely green eyes. (A very charming and hansom man)
Default cloths: Green tunic (usually with a red rose pined to the front), black combat pants with a red sash, a decorative blue scabbard with one long colored rose on both sides and many other roses engraved everywhere else (the scabbed of The Rose Thorn), and brown boots.
Abilities: Master swordsmanship, well above average speed and agility.
Weaknesses: Mortal (what I mean by this is if someone blasts him with a fireball, he won’t fly across the room and get back up. His cloths will burn off and his skin will probably turn black and fall off later. Basically what I am trying to say is that he plays by the same rules we do) and has a very low magic tolerance.
Bio:
Valentine was born and raised in a small village inside the human territory. Valentine’s mother died while giving birth to him and so he became very close to his father. He respected his father more then any man and wished to grow up and become something like him. His father was a Village Protector, so Valentine learned what he could about rapiers and daggers from his father and the other Village Protectors. His god given speed made Valentine very deadly with his rapier and he quickly became one of the best young swordsmen of the village.
At the age of sixteen, he competed in a large tournament in the city with his father. He excelled well beyond what the judges expected from a sixteen year old and made it to the final round, where he met his father. He had never fought his father in a real battle until that day. They fought for five hours, exchanging blows and dodging thrusts, and in the end, Valentine left victorious. He could remember his father standing up after the battle had ended, his cloths torn and blood dripping from his face, and saying to him that he had a god given gift with his sword and should use it properly.
Afterwards, his father began to train him in the true arts of a Village Protector. He had to know a bit more then just how to use a sword. If you were to qualify to become a Village Protector, you would also have to be educated in the fine arts as well as the arts of war. He learned to sing, dance, paint, and to play an ocarina. His education in the arts and his hansom features gave him a certain charm. He became very popular with the milkmaids and was despised by the envious young men and the concerned fathers of the village.
At the age of eighteen, he became a Village Protector. He was given the ceremonial magical red rose, a rose that would never wilt, as sign of his ranking. He was very proud of his joining the Village Protectors and always kept the rose pined to his tunic.
At the age of twenty, his village was attacked by a large band of trolls looking for loot. He and the other Village Protectors fought long and hard to hold off the attack, but there were just too many. Valentine fought until he and his father were the last Village Protectors alive. They fought back to back for hours; killing trolls as causally as taking a breath. Then the unthinkable happened…. His father was caught off guard and found an axe in his back. Valentine killed the trolled that did it and went to his father’s aid. His father’s last request was for him to take up his sword (The Rose Torn) and run away. Valentine refused to run even though the battle was already lost and his father pleaded with him to leave. Shortly after his father passed on, Valentine honored him and fled the battle with the sword.
For five years now he has wondered the world and for five years now he had never taken off his rose. He has not found love, even though he has looked and has not yet found another home. He mostly lives off the land, but when he needs money for cloths and hot meals, he fights in a tournament in the nearest city. Sometimes, when there are no tournaments taking place and he needs money desperately, he will go bony hunting for thieves and murderers. Yeah, he gets by, but that not enough for him. He wishes to find something worth fighting for. Like his father had once said, he has a gift and he need to use it for a greater purpose then just himself.
He doesn’t know what the future brings and he doesn’t know if he will ever find what he is looking for. But he knows that tomorrow is another day and he’s trusty anyway, so why not bring on the rain….
Valentine C. Ericks
Started by
Guest_Clairc_*
, Nov 14 2004 01:09 PM
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5 replies to this topic
#2
GraniteJJ
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Posted 21 November 2004 - 05:44 PM
A few things.
First, your weakness cannot be mortality. It says in the rules that putting this as a weakness doesn't count. You have to have a little more substance to that.
Second, your story doesn't make much sense. The spelling is bad, for instance. The Rose Torn was once the Rose Throne, but I would assume it was meant to be Rose Thorn. Hard to tell.
And the father dies with an axe in his back, but they were fighting back to back. So, the troll cleaved right through Valentine, killed his father, but Valentine was still alive? Or something? Something doesn't add up there.
You also need to include a bit more of Valentine's personality, and the response to his father's death, etc, etc. Has he become battle hardened? Is he compassionate? Is he dark and mysterious? What/s the deal?
Approval Pending
Date of Closure: Nov. 28/04
First, your weakness cannot be mortality. It says in the rules that putting this as a weakness doesn't count. You have to have a little more substance to that.
Second, your story doesn't make much sense. The spelling is bad, for instance. The Rose Torn was once the Rose Throne, but I would assume it was meant to be Rose Thorn. Hard to tell.
And the father dies with an axe in his back, but they were fighting back to back. So, the troll cleaved right through Valentine, killed his father, but Valentine was still alive? Or something? Something doesn't add up there.
You also need to include a bit more of Valentine's personality, and the response to his father's death, etc, etc. Has he become battle hardened? Is he compassionate? Is he dark and mysterious? What/s the deal?
Approval Pending
Date of Closure: Nov. 28/04
#3
Guest_Clairc_*
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Posted 22 November 2004 - 11:01 PM
Sorry about that. This was originally a free flow and I didn’t use the spell check in Microsoft Word to check the spelling. Lets see… I am now trying to hint of his personality when I talk about his father, his morals, his search for love, and his hatred for evildoers. If you don’t catch it, all I’m trying to say is that he has good morals all the time, hates evil people, and has a romantic personally around decent women.
Name: Valentine Charity Ericks
Race: Human
Current age: 25
Occupation: Wonderer
Weapon(s): A long rapier called The Rose Thorn and a two daggers
Item(s): A wooden Ocarina, a magical rose, and a little amount of money.
Appearance: He has a light build, long curly black hair, and steely green eyes. (A very charming and hansom man)
Default cloths: Green tunic (usually with a red rose pined to the front), black combat pants with a red sash, a decorative blue scabbard with one long colored rose on both sides and many other roses engraved everywhere else (the scabbed of The Rose Thorn), and brown boots.
Abilities: Master swordsmanship, well above average speed and agility.
Weaknesses: Has a very low magic tolerance by birth and because of this, he has a slight fear of wizards and magic-users. He also isn’t used to being hit. His speed allows him to avoid being touch most time and when he is hit, it feels just as foreign as it does painful. This is not saying that he can’t take a hit; it is just saying that it hurts more for him then it would for a normal warrior.
Bio:
Valentine was born and raised in a small village inside the human territory. Valentine’s mother died while giving birth to him and so he became very close to his father. He respected his father more then any man and wished to grow up and become something like him. His father was not only a moral and ethical man, but he was also a Village Protector. Valentine learned what he could about rapiers and daggers from the other Village Protectors, hoping to follow in his father footsteps. His god given speed made Valentine very deadly with his rapier and he quickly became one of the best young swordsmen of the village.
At the age of sixteen, he competed in a large tournament in the city with his father. He excelled well beyond what the judges expected from a sixteen year old and made it to the final round, where he met his father. He had never fought his father in a real battle until that day. They fought for five hours, exchanging blows and dodging thrusts, and in the end, Valentine was victorious. He could remember his father standing up after the battle had ended, his cloths torn and blood dripping from his face, and saying to him that he had a god given gift with his sword and should use it for a greater purpose then himself.
A few months later, his father began to train him in the true arts of a Village Protector. He had to know a bit more then just how to use a sword. If you were to qualify to become a Village Protector, you would also have to be educated in the fine arts as well as the arts of war. He learned to sing, dance, paint, and to play an ocarina. His education in the arts combined with his hansom features gave him a certain charm. He would sometimes play the ocarina his father gave him in the village square at night. Villagers would open their windows wide on those select nights to listen to his to his both soft and soothing midnight melodies. As a result of his nighttime music and masterful swordsmanship he became very popular with the milkmaids and was despised by the envious young men and the concerned fathers of the village.
The fathers had no true reason to be concerned. His father had taught him good morals and one of them was to never bed a woman unless you are ready to support her and a child. Even without that moral burned into the front of his mind, he had no intention to bed a woman without love anyway. He could remember the many stories his father tolled about his mother and they were all based around a pure love that seemed to block out all the evil in the world. Valentine didn’t want sex… he wanted love.
At the age of eighteen, he became a Village Protector. He was given the ceremonial magical red rose, a rose that would never wilt, as sign of his ranking. He was very proud of his joining the Village Protectors and always kept the rose pined to his tunic.
At the age of twenty, his village was attacked by a large band of trolls looking for loot. He and the other Village Protectors fought long and hard to hold off the attack, but there were just too many. Valentine fought until he and his father were the last Village Protectors alive. They fought side by side for hours; killing trolls as causally as taking a breath. Then the unthinkable happened…. His father was caught off guard and found an axe in his back. Valentine killed the trolled that did it and went to his father’s aid. His father’s last request was for him to take up his sword (The Rose Thorn) and run away. Valentine refused to run even though the battle was already lost and his father pleaded with him to leave. Shortly after his father passed on, Valentine honored him and fled the battle with The Rose Thorn.
For five years now he has wondered the world and for five years now he had never taken off his rose. He held no grudge on the troll race, but his hatred for evildoers grows each time he thinks about his father. He has not found love, even though he has looked and has not yet found another home. He mostly lives off the land, but when he needs money for cloths and hot meals, he fights in a tournament in the nearest city. Sometimes, when there are no tournaments taking place and he needs money desperately, he will go bony hunting for thieves and murderers. Yeah, he gets by, but that not enough for him. He wishes to find something worth fighting for. Like his father had once said, he has a gift and he need to use it for a greater purpose then himself.
He doesn’t know what the future brings and he doesn’t know if he will ever find what he is looking for. But he knows that tomorrow is another day and he’s trusty anyway, so why not bring on the rain….
Name: Valentine Charity Ericks
Race: Human
Current age: 25
Occupation: Wonderer
Weapon(s): A long rapier called The Rose Thorn and a two daggers
Item(s): A wooden Ocarina, a magical rose, and a little amount of money.
Appearance: He has a light build, long curly black hair, and steely green eyes. (A very charming and hansom man)
Default cloths: Green tunic (usually with a red rose pined to the front), black combat pants with a red sash, a decorative blue scabbard with one long colored rose on both sides and many other roses engraved everywhere else (the scabbed of The Rose Thorn), and brown boots.
Abilities: Master swordsmanship, well above average speed and agility.
Weaknesses: Has a very low magic tolerance by birth and because of this, he has a slight fear of wizards and magic-users. He also isn’t used to being hit. His speed allows him to avoid being touch most time and when he is hit, it feels just as foreign as it does painful. This is not saying that he can’t take a hit; it is just saying that it hurts more for him then it would for a normal warrior.
Bio:
Valentine was born and raised in a small village inside the human territory. Valentine’s mother died while giving birth to him and so he became very close to his father. He respected his father more then any man and wished to grow up and become something like him. His father was not only a moral and ethical man, but he was also a Village Protector. Valentine learned what he could about rapiers and daggers from the other Village Protectors, hoping to follow in his father footsteps. His god given speed made Valentine very deadly with his rapier and he quickly became one of the best young swordsmen of the village.
At the age of sixteen, he competed in a large tournament in the city with his father. He excelled well beyond what the judges expected from a sixteen year old and made it to the final round, where he met his father. He had never fought his father in a real battle until that day. They fought for five hours, exchanging blows and dodging thrusts, and in the end, Valentine was victorious. He could remember his father standing up after the battle had ended, his cloths torn and blood dripping from his face, and saying to him that he had a god given gift with his sword and should use it for a greater purpose then himself.
A few months later, his father began to train him in the true arts of a Village Protector. He had to know a bit more then just how to use a sword. If you were to qualify to become a Village Protector, you would also have to be educated in the fine arts as well as the arts of war. He learned to sing, dance, paint, and to play an ocarina. His education in the arts combined with his hansom features gave him a certain charm. He would sometimes play the ocarina his father gave him in the village square at night. Villagers would open their windows wide on those select nights to listen to his to his both soft and soothing midnight melodies. As a result of his nighttime music and masterful swordsmanship he became very popular with the milkmaids and was despised by the envious young men and the concerned fathers of the village.
The fathers had no true reason to be concerned. His father had taught him good morals and one of them was to never bed a woman unless you are ready to support her and a child. Even without that moral burned into the front of his mind, he had no intention to bed a woman without love anyway. He could remember the many stories his father tolled about his mother and they were all based around a pure love that seemed to block out all the evil in the world. Valentine didn’t want sex… he wanted love.
At the age of eighteen, he became a Village Protector. He was given the ceremonial magical red rose, a rose that would never wilt, as sign of his ranking. He was very proud of his joining the Village Protectors and always kept the rose pined to his tunic.
At the age of twenty, his village was attacked by a large band of trolls looking for loot. He and the other Village Protectors fought long and hard to hold off the attack, but there were just too many. Valentine fought until he and his father were the last Village Protectors alive. They fought side by side for hours; killing trolls as causally as taking a breath. Then the unthinkable happened…. His father was caught off guard and found an axe in his back. Valentine killed the trolled that did it and went to his father’s aid. His father’s last request was for him to take up his sword (The Rose Thorn) and run away. Valentine refused to run even though the battle was already lost and his father pleaded with him to leave. Shortly after his father passed on, Valentine honored him and fled the battle with The Rose Thorn.
For five years now he has wondered the world and for five years now he had never taken off his rose. He held no grudge on the troll race, but his hatred for evildoers grows each time he thinks about his father. He has not found love, even though he has looked and has not yet found another home. He mostly lives off the land, but when he needs money for cloths and hot meals, he fights in a tournament in the nearest city. Sometimes, when there are no tournaments taking place and he needs money desperately, he will go bony hunting for thieves and murderers. Yeah, he gets by, but that not enough for him. He wishes to find something worth fighting for. Like his father had once said, he has a gift and he need to use it for a greater purpose then himself.
He doesn’t know what the future brings and he doesn’t know if he will ever find what he is looking for. But he knows that tomorrow is another day and he’s trusty anyway, so why not bring on the rain….
#4
GraniteJJ
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Posted 22 November 2004 - 11:56 PM
You're supposed to put all edits in italics.
Sorry to be a pain about it, but its the rules.
*shrugs sheepishly*
Sorry to be a pain about it, but its the rules.
*shrugs sheepishly*
#5
Guest_Clairc_*
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Posted 23 November 2004 - 12:15 AM
Don’t worry about it. I should have paid more intention when I read the rules.
Name: Valentine Charity Ericks
Race: Human
Current age: 25
Occupation: Wonderer
Weapon(s): A long rapier called The Rose Thorn and a two daggers
Item(s): A wooden Ocarina, a magical rose, and a little amount of money.
Appearance: He has a light build, long curly black hair, and steely green eyes. (A very charming and hansom man)
Default cloths: Green tunic (usually with a red rose pined to the front), black combat pants with a red sash, a decorative blue scabbard with one long colored rose on both sides and many other roses engraved everywhere else (the scabbed of The Rose Thorn), and brown boots.
Abilities: Master swordsmanship, well above average speed and agility.
Weaknesses: Has a very low magic tolerance by birth and because of this, he has a slight fear of wizards and magic-users. He also isn’t used to being hit. His speed allows him to avoid being touch most time and when he is hit, it feels just as foreign as it does painful. This is not saying that he can’t take a hit; it is just saying that it hurts more for him then it would for a normal warrior.
Bio:
Valentine was born and raised in a small village inside the human territory. Valentine’s mother died while giving birth to him and so he became very close to his father. He respected his father more then any man and wished to grow up and become something like him. His father was not only a moral and ethical man, but he was also a Village Protector. Valentine learned what he could about rapiers and daggers from the other Village Protectors, hoping to follow in his father footsteps. His god given speed made Valentine very deadly with his rapier and he quickly became one of the best young swordsmen of the village.
At the age of sixteen, he competed in a large tournament in the city with his father. He excelled well beyond what the judges expected from a sixteen year old and made it to the final round, where he met his father. He had never fought his father in a real battle until that day. They fought for five hours, exchanging blows and dodging thrusts, and in the end, Valentine was victorious. He could remember his father standing up after the battle had ended, his cloths torn and blood dripping from his face, and saying to him that he had a god given gift with his sword and should use it for a greater purpose then himself.
A few months later, his father began to train him in the true arts of a Village Protector. He had to know a bit more then just how to use a sword. If you were to qualify to become a Village Protector, you would also have to be educated in the fine arts as well as the arts of war. He learned to sing, dance, paint, and to play an ocarina. His education in the arts combined with his hansom features gave him a certain charm. He would sometimes play the ocarina his father gave him in the village square at night. Villagers would open their windows wide on those select nights to listen to his to his both soft and soothing midnight melodies. As a result of his nighttime music and masterful swordsmanship he became very popular with the milkmaids and was despised by the envious young men and the concerned fathers of the village.
The fathers had no true reason to be concerned. His father had taught him good morals and one of them was to never bed a woman unless you are ready to support her and a child. Even without that moral burned into the front of his mind, he had no intention to bed a woman without love anyway. He could remember the many stories his father tolled about his mother and they were all based around a pure love that seemed to block out all the evil in the world. Valentine didn’t want sex… he wanted love.
At the age of eighteen, he became a Village Protector. He was given the ceremonial magical red rose, a rose that would never wilt, as sign of his ranking. He was very proud of his joining the Village Protectors and always kept the rose pined to his tunic.
At the age of twenty, his village was attacked by a large band of trolls looking for loot. He and the other Village Protectors fought long and hard to hold off the attack, but there were just too many. Valentine fought until he and his father were the last Village Protectors alive. They fought side by side for hours; killing trolls as causally as taking a breath. Then the unthinkable happened…. His father was caught off guard and found an axe in his back. Valentine killed the trolled that did it and went to his father’s aid. His father’s last request was for him to take up his sword (The Rose Thorn) and run away. Valentine refused to run even though the battle was already lost and his father pleaded with him to leave. Shortly after his father passed on, Valentine honored him and fled the battle with The Rose Thorn.
For five years now he has wondered the world and for five years now he had never taken off his rose. He holds no grudge for the troll race, but his hatred for evildoers grows each time he thinks about his father. He has not found love, even though he has looked and has not yet found another home. He mostly lives off the land, but when he needs money for cloths and hot meals, he fights in a tournament in the nearest city. Sometimes, when there are no tournaments taking place and he needs money desperately, he will go bony hunting for thieves and murderers. Yeah, he gets by, but that not enough for him. He wishes to find something worth fighting for. Like his father had once said, he has a gift and he need to use it for a greater purpose then himself.
He doesn’t know what the future brings and he doesn’t know if he will ever find what he is looking for. But he knows that tomorrow is another day and he’s trusty anyway, so why not bring on the rain….
Name: Valentine Charity Ericks
Race: Human
Current age: 25
Occupation: Wonderer
Weapon(s): A long rapier called The Rose Thorn and a two daggers
Item(s): A wooden Ocarina, a magical rose, and a little amount of money.
Appearance: He has a light build, long curly black hair, and steely green eyes. (A very charming and hansom man)
Default cloths: Green tunic (usually with a red rose pined to the front), black combat pants with a red sash, a decorative blue scabbard with one long colored rose on both sides and many other roses engraved everywhere else (the scabbed of The Rose Thorn), and brown boots.
Abilities: Master swordsmanship, well above average speed and agility.
Weaknesses: Has a very low magic tolerance by birth and because of this, he has a slight fear of wizards and magic-users. He also isn’t used to being hit. His speed allows him to avoid being touch most time and when he is hit, it feels just as foreign as it does painful. This is not saying that he can’t take a hit; it is just saying that it hurts more for him then it would for a normal warrior.
Bio:
Valentine was born and raised in a small village inside the human territory. Valentine’s mother died while giving birth to him and so he became very close to his father. He respected his father more then any man and wished to grow up and become something like him. His father was not only a moral and ethical man, but he was also a Village Protector. Valentine learned what he could about rapiers and daggers from the other Village Protectors, hoping to follow in his father footsteps. His god given speed made Valentine very deadly with his rapier and he quickly became one of the best young swordsmen of the village.
At the age of sixteen, he competed in a large tournament in the city with his father. He excelled well beyond what the judges expected from a sixteen year old and made it to the final round, where he met his father. He had never fought his father in a real battle until that day. They fought for five hours, exchanging blows and dodging thrusts, and in the end, Valentine was victorious. He could remember his father standing up after the battle had ended, his cloths torn and blood dripping from his face, and saying to him that he had a god given gift with his sword and should use it for a greater purpose then himself.
A few months later, his father began to train him in the true arts of a Village Protector. He had to know a bit more then just how to use a sword. If you were to qualify to become a Village Protector, you would also have to be educated in the fine arts as well as the arts of war. He learned to sing, dance, paint, and to play an ocarina. His education in the arts combined with his hansom features gave him a certain charm. He would sometimes play the ocarina his father gave him in the village square at night. Villagers would open their windows wide on those select nights to listen to his to his both soft and soothing midnight melodies. As a result of his nighttime music and masterful swordsmanship he became very popular with the milkmaids and was despised by the envious young men and the concerned fathers of the village.
The fathers had no true reason to be concerned. His father had taught him good morals and one of them was to never bed a woman unless you are ready to support her and a child. Even without that moral burned into the front of his mind, he had no intention to bed a woman without love anyway. He could remember the many stories his father tolled about his mother and they were all based around a pure love that seemed to block out all the evil in the world. Valentine didn’t want sex… he wanted love.
At the age of eighteen, he became a Village Protector. He was given the ceremonial magical red rose, a rose that would never wilt, as sign of his ranking. He was very proud of his joining the Village Protectors and always kept the rose pined to his tunic.
At the age of twenty, his village was attacked by a large band of trolls looking for loot. He and the other Village Protectors fought long and hard to hold off the attack, but there were just too many. Valentine fought until he and his father were the last Village Protectors alive. They fought side by side for hours; killing trolls as causally as taking a breath. Then the unthinkable happened…. His father was caught off guard and found an axe in his back. Valentine killed the trolled that did it and went to his father’s aid. His father’s last request was for him to take up his sword (The Rose Thorn) and run away. Valentine refused to run even though the battle was already lost and his father pleaded with him to leave. Shortly after his father passed on, Valentine honored him and fled the battle with The Rose Thorn.
For five years now he has wondered the world and for five years now he had never taken off his rose. He holds no grudge for the troll race, but his hatred for evildoers grows each time he thinks about his father. He has not found love, even though he has looked and has not yet found another home. He mostly lives off the land, but when he needs money for cloths and hot meals, he fights in a tournament in the nearest city. Sometimes, when there are no tournaments taking place and he needs money desperately, he will go bony hunting for thieves and murderers. Yeah, he gets by, but that not enough for him. He wishes to find something worth fighting for. Like his father had once said, he has a gift and he need to use it for a greater purpose then himself.
He doesn’t know what the future brings and he doesn’t know if he will ever find what he is looking for. But he knows that tomorrow is another day and he’s trusty anyway, so why not bring on the rain….
#6
GraniteJJ
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Posted 24 November 2004 - 09:55 PM
Excellent.
APPROVED.
APPROVED.
