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FunQuest: Imperial Edition


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#1 Selena

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Posted 23 September 2009 - 10:29 PM

Welcome to FunQuest! This game was originally developed by an old member named CyanideWyrm, who may or may not have gotten it from somewhere else. Whatever the case, it's a silly, cracked up version of Dungeons and Dragons. Or something to that effect. Not a proper RPG at all, so minimal effort on your part! Hell, I even got Vet to play an older one. If HE can do it, that should be a sign of how easy it is.

Here's how it works:

- Make a post saying: "Hi, I want to play!"
- Either myself or a mod will give you an introduction and description of your surroundings and equipment.
- You decide what to do next!
- The mods then take the story along accordingly.



Example:


Random Member -- "Hi, Lena, I want to play!"

Lena -- "You are Random Member. You are located in the Mirror Chamber of the Arbiter's Grounds. You are equipped with a rubber chicken. There is a flight of stairs leading down. Your class is 'Chickenshit Knight.'"

Random Member -- "I go down the stairs, tucking the rubber chicken into my pants for safekeeping."

Lena -- "You head down the stairs and come across a beautiful lady. She sees the giant bulge in your pants and winks at you. What do you do next?"

Random Member -- " :ahh:


[MAP] - As a writing reference

(North) - Arbiter's Ground / Mirror Chamber within
----- people here: Chik, Elvenlord, Kitten, Stew, PA

(West) - Spirit Temple
----- people here: Ransom, Ember, Vet

(South) - Makeshift Camp
----- people here: Snake

(Further South) - Desert / Desert Stop
----- people here: Poore, RSR (in transit)

#2 Stew

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 01:07 AM

God yes. This is the single greatest thing on LA.

Selena. You are more awesome than the hypothetical offspring of John McClain and Sarah Connor, and the the inevitable explosion that would chase said-baby out of the womb.

#3 ninja kitten

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 10:07 AM

Hi, Lena, I want to play!

#4 Poore

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 10:38 AM

I would like to play, also.

#5 Veteran

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 12:58 PM

I can do this.

I can do this.

(Hi, Lena, I want to play)

#6 Ember

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 01:32 PM

I'm totally in. I want to play.

#7 JRPomazon

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 03:03 PM

I'll get this bitch started. Now for a mass-introduction:

You are Stew. You are equipped with a Small Hammer and a bundle of rope. Your class is 'LumberJack'.

You are Ninja Kitten. You are equipped with a small bobby pin and a piece of paper. Your class is 'Social Worker'.

The two of you are located at the entrance to the Arbiter Grounds. You can enter the grounds through the main doorway or head back to the makeshift camp several feet away.

You are Poore. You are equipped with a Slingshot and a Leonardo DiCaprio fanbook. Your class is 'Freelancer'.

You are located in the middle of the desert at a bus stop. You can either wait for transportation or head off north across the desert to the make shift camp.

You are Ember. You are equipped with red shoelace licorice and a short sword. Your class is 'Peacock Warrior'.

You are Veteran. You are equipped with a large book. Your class is 'Bishop'.

The two of you are located in a make shift camp, in front of a horse stable. You may explore the camp, head north to the Arbiter Grounds or head south to the desert.

What will you all do?

#8 Snake

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 03:15 PM

I WANT to play it!!!

#9 JRPomazon

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 03:23 PM

Alright, one more:

You are Snake. You are equipped with a Snake Costume and a jar of Peanut Butter. Your class is 'Green Mage'. You are located in a make shift camp, by a soup kitchen. You may explore the camp, head north to the Arbiter Grounds or head south to the desert.

Edited by JRPomazon, 24 September 2009 - 03:24 PM.


#10 Paladin Anthony

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 04:04 PM

>_> I'll bite.

I want to play.

#11 JRPomazon

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 04:18 PM

You are Anthony. You are equipped with a pair of sneakers and a wooden shield. Your class is 'Trainee Knight'. You are inside the Arbiter Grounds, in a dark room with a large chained sword in the middle. There is a door leading out and small window high up on the opposing wall. What will you do?

#12 ninja kitten

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 04:18 PM

Pulling up some loose hairs, NK shoves the bobby pin into her hair. She then folds the piece of paper nicely in half, making certain to make a clean crease. NK then heads toward the main door. "Let's get to work!"

#13 Ember

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 04:24 PM

Ember stuffs the licorice in her pocket for later and sheaths the sword, wanting to explore the makeshift camp before setting out anywhere.

#14 JRPomazon

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 04:36 PM

Ninja Kitten: You enter the Arbiter Grounds, finding yourself in a wide entry room. There are gum wrappers left on the dusty tile floor. Straight ahead is another open doorway, the sound of smacking can be heard from the room ahead. What do you do?

Ember: You take a look around and discover a large wooden lookout tower to your left and a soup kitchen to your right. Straight ahead, there is a large and raunchy looking inn. What do you do?

#15 ninja kitten

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 05:07 PM

Picking up the gum wrappers, NK moves cautiously toward the door. She peeks around the corner, careful not to make a sound.

#16 JRPomazon

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 05:20 PM

The sounds of lip smacking becomes louder. Inside you find a large troll wearing a speedo. He is hunched over on the floor eating what appears to be gum. What do you do?

#17 Veteran

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 05:36 PM

Vet sits down in front of the stables and checks out the book. He notices Ember wandering off to explore the make shift camp.

#18 Ember

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 05:37 PM

Ember suddenly notices her intense hunger and heads greedily for the soup kitchen.

#19 Selena

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 05:53 PM

Veteran:

Behold, the Book of Vet! Full of sage advice and nearly spewing forth righteousness. You smile and open it up. Ah, just as you left it. The two pages of gibberish you printed off your computer. Many more pages listing the money you've made off your con - er, I mean, religion. The rest of the tome is full of crude sketches - some of the various dorm landscapes you have visited. Others of great battles once fought, though you were never too good at drawing people, so those are mostly epic stick figure battles with names drawn next to various people. Oh, look. There's "Chik" stabbing "Korhend" with a spork. Huh.

A crow flies down and lands in front of you. It makes several funny noises before retching up something small, shiny and silver. Now also mucus-y. Do you go investigate?



Ember:

You head into the soup kitchen and see a large black pot hanging over a campfire. You open the lid to investigate. Ah, stew! You take a ladle and stir it around. Wait. That's.... is that a rabbit's foot? N... no way. You stir it some more. This is... this is bunny stew! ;__;

You slam the lid back down and examine some sacks lying nearby. Ooh, look, some fruit. You eat three apples and a peach before exploring the rest of the mess area. Most of it is rations and some canteens full of water. You see a note lying on a cutting board and examine it. The note reads--

"Attention Dave,
Went west to the Spirit Temple to harvest more vegetables yesterday. Don't go back - there's some sort of monster out there. He attacked me on my way back! Dropped everything I gathered! He's about three feet tall and has a pointy hat. I'm going to see if I can get some crusaders out there to kill whatever it is. Just make due with what we have until then!

- Skippy"

What next?

#20 Veteran

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 06:02 PM

I use my shirt to clean the strange silver object with the hopes of identifying it. I also hold out my hand to see if the apparently gift-giving crow would like to perch on my person, perhaps on my shoulder.

#21 Stew

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 06:02 PM

I'll get this bitch started. Now for a mass-introduction:

You are Stew. You are equipped with a Small Hammer and a bundle of rope. Your class is 'LumberJack'.

The two of you are located at the entrance to the Arbiter Grounds. You can enter the grounds through the main doorway or head back to the makeshift camp several feet away.


I follow behind Ninja Kitten into the main doorway, shouldering my bundle of rope and gripping my hammer in my hammering hand. Of course, this offers little description due to my natural LumberJack Ambidextrousity. That Lumberjacks have always had.

"Wait for me, Miss!" I cry out nervously, displaying my disregard for Lumberjack Tenacity and courage. What do you expect? I'm, like, level 1 here!

#22 Ember

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 06:06 PM

Ember narrows her eyes as she finishes the note. Now the real debate: eat more food, or check out the Spirit Temple? Her eyes shift from the note to the apples.
Decisively, Ember shoves the note in her empty pocket, along with a few more apples and heads outside, determined to defeat the monster. After all, it prevented her from having any vegetables to eat and that made her very, very angry.
She set off, heading west.

#23 Selena

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 06:17 PM

Vet

You examine the object. It's a key. It has engraving on the side. Looks like a picture of a lemon. Hmm, too far out to be related to Selena. Must be to something of Chik's. Her seat of power is in the heart of the Arbiter's Grounds, so chances are that it unlocks something in there. You hold out your hand and the crow lands on your forearm. He croaks out a phrase "G-NOME." You name this new companion Croaker.

You look up and see Ember heading off to the west. The Spirit Temple is in the far distance. What do you do? Follow her, or go loot through Chik's stuff?



Ember
With your new supplies, you start heading west toward the Spirit Temple. Within minutes you are sweating from the heat, but you've lived out here so long that it doesn't bother you so much anymore. After several hundred meters you spot something in the sand. You bend down and brush it off. It's... a human skull. With small bite marks all over it! Beside the skull rests a golden BOSS KEY.


Stew
You chase after Ninja Kitten, hoping to leech off her and gain more experience points. You hear the smacking of gum. The lumberjack hammer trembles in your hammering hand. You peer over Ninja Kitten's shoulder and see a giant troll. In a thong. Chewing gum.

Holy Shit.

Torches illuminate the room the troll is in, giving you clear sight of all his... features. On his left arm is a CLAW SHOT.

#24 Ember

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 06:25 PM

Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him.

Ember respectfully kicks the skull aside and takes the hot key, quickly jamming it in her pocket as well. She shields her eyes from the sun, gazing at the Spirit Temple in the distance before starting off again.

#25 Veteran

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 06:46 PM

I pocket the key and graciously accept Croaker as a companion.

As much as I would like to raid through Chik's stuff, especially since her new-found godliness contrasts with the contents of my beloved book, I figure it can wait and my time is better served keeping Ember company.

Even though I am currently defenseless, yet I imagine my nice bulky book could pack a reasonable wallop, perhaps Croaker can lend a hand in the Spirit Temple since he may be able to regurgitate passwords or something. Maybe a death ray? Yes, that would probably be the most helpful thing he could puke up.

#26 Elvenlord

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 07:09 PM

Hey, Lena, Elven wants to play.

#27 JRPomazon

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 07:24 PM

Your name is Elven. You are equipped with a tin kettle and a prom dress. Your class is 'Discomancer'.

You are currently in the Arbiter Grounds, in a large room covered with various paintings and torches. There are rooms to your left and straight ahead and a staircase that appears to be heading up. Where will you go?

#28 Renegade

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 08:01 PM

I wish to play.

#29 JRPomazon

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 08:08 PM

Vet: Croaker vomits up a wishbone that he ingested earlier from a turkey he ate. It was delicious. You wish you had a turkey to eat right now. But enough of that.

Renegade: Your name is Renegade. You are equipped with a Knife and a copy of Catcher in the Rye. Your class is 'Gangsta'.

You find yourself running from the ghastly horror of a thousand smiling faces, all who wish to devour your soul in the desert. You see a small structure on the horizon, which appears to be a Bus Stop. What do you do?

Edited by JRPomazon, 24 September 2009 - 08:08 PM.


#30 Renegade

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 08:12 PM

I sprint full speed to the structure on the horizon.