2 replies to this topic

[ganonlord6000]

I came up with a very interesting timeline activity earlier today. Try putting the names of all the Zelda games on either index cards or slips of paper (You can choose to wheather to put direct sequels on the same cards or not), shuffle the cards, and place the cards in a random order. You can choose to do either a split timeline or a single timeline. You can post the order you got here and/or make up ways to make the games fit in that order. Sorry about posting all of these random threads. I come up with crazy ideas at night. I'll post my results soon. Let me know what you guys think about this game.

[Fin]

Stealer!

[Masamune]

For this, I grouped the games based on the same Links (no need to get too nonsensical just yet!) and assigned each different "Link" to a different number and then used randomizer.org to sort it out.

The desolate Death Mountain valley is one day attacked by Ganon, who has stolen the Triforce of Power. A traveler from a distant land named Link comes to kick his ass and unite the Triforce of Wisdom (Legend of Zelda). On his sixteenth birthday, he sets out to find the Triforce of Courage to awaken the sleeping Zelda (Adventure of Link). There's also some business with a dragon or something (Zelda Game & Watch). Years later, the sorcerer Vaati rises in the kingdom of Hyrule, newly built in the lands of the Death Mountain Valley. He freezes Zelda into stone, but Link makes quick work of him and starts a new fashion in hatwear (The Minish Cap).

Many more extra years later, Ganon has returned thanks to his followers finally getting some of Link's blood, which is amazing since he had been dead so long. After getting the Triforce, he gets stuck in the Dark World and uses his puppet Agahnim to try and break him out, but it fails because Link shows up on the scene. Ganon is killed, the Master Sword is put to rest, and Link rediscovers the Four Sword or something (A Link to the Past). Later on Link sails off to high adventure and ends up in a dreamworld (Link's Awakening) while some punk kid from another universe has to finish off Ganon (Ancient Stone Tablets).

With the Four Sword at last found again, Vaati returns and starts collecting some ladies for his harem. Link decides there will be none of this and takes himself some Four Sword and traps Vaati (Four Swords). In the meantime, the man called Ganondorf fancies himself some evil shenanigans and has Vaati set free while he goes to find a super powerful Trident. It doesn't end well for either of them (Four Sword Adventures). Despite his defeat, his days are not yet over and the Sages decide that Ganondorf deserves himself a jail cell in the Twilight Realm. This goes badly and he ends up with the Triforce of Power, a team up with Zant, and causing all kinds of trouble. But Link kills him anyways (Twilight Princess).

Or so he thought. Years later after Link has ditched Hyrule for greener pastures, Ganondorf decides he wants Hyrule and takes it upon himself to invade. When Link doesn't show up, the goddesses in an amazing display of laziness, decide just to flood the hell out of Hyrule instead of just finding Link. Ganon is pretty pissed about this and tries to bring old Hyrule back, but this is apparently a bad thing so he gets a sword stuck in his head (The Wind Waker). Deciding to just go find a new Hyrule, Link and Tetra head out to sea, but end up getting caught in an ultimately pointless adventure to wreck Linebeck's ship and get him a new one (Phantom Hourglass).

While a new Hyrule is under construction, the newest Link is forced to get his adventuring buzz in other lands. He finds himself kicking Onox's ass (Oracle of Seasons) and then doing the same to Veran. However it was all a setup for Ganon to get revived after Farore decided to knick the Master Sword and sell it through her "Password Shop". Twinrova almost succeeds, but Link kills Ganon anyways (Oracle of Ages). With the new Hyrule finally finishes (in the exact same spot as the old one even!), the new tenants all decide to kill the hell out eachother because all of them want to prime parking spots. During this, some jerkass mom leaves her kid, Link, in the forest. This kid's childhood is further ruined when he has to stop the latest incarnation of Ganondorf from being a major jackass and trying to take over the world (Ocarina of Time). Decided he's had enough of that, Link heads off to Termina to stop a giant Moon from making out with the planet (Majora's Mask).

With Ganondorf stewing in the Sacred Realm for all time, a more important adventure takes place when a 35 year old man becomes Tingle to enter Rupeeland. What starts out a sweet deal goes sour when Uncle Rupee decides to kill him (Freshly-Picked Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland).

THE END

For reference, here's how I sorted it all out;

1, 7, 2, 6, 8, 5, 4, 3, 9

1 - Legend of Zelda / Zelda Game & Watch / The Adventure of Link
2 - A Link to the Past / Ancient Stone Tablets / Link's Awakening
3 - Ocarina of Time / Majora's Mask
4 - Oracles of Ages / Oracle of Seasons
5 - The Wind Waker / Phantom Hourglass
6 - Four Swords / Four Swords Adventures
7 - The Minish Cap
8 - Twilight Princess
9 - Freshly-Picked Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland

I think if Oracles had taken place after OoT, then that might have been a half decent timeline, at least in perspective of Ganons. (For the record, the first Ganon appears in LoZ/AoL, the second appears in FSA and lasts until Oracles, and the final one appears in OoT.)