5 replies to this topic

[Shekey the Green]

Name: Ana Draven

Original: Yes

Origin: Naruto

Age: 21

Gender: Female

Race: Human

Class: Ninja

Height: 5’1”

Weight: 105 lbs

Hair Color: Black

Eye Color: Emerald Green

Apparel: She wears a black, hooded, long sleeved shirt underneath her black, studded-leather armor. She wears tall leather boots underneath her black, baggy cargo pants, where many trinkets (such as lock picks, small daggers, smoke bombs, etc) are kept.

Bio: A child born of the night, Ana grew up with no parents to tell her right or wrong. She grew up homeless, stealing money and food as needed. The city she grew up in called her the Night Walker, because she walked the streets at night, killing for what she thought was the right cause.

Now, Ana fights for what she calls justice and is very humble when it comes to The Creator.

Although she fights for ‘justice’, she does not let anger or humility get in the way of a good fight.

She stumbled upon Shekey and Cais one day. A battle ensued between the two and her. After hours had passed, they called it a draw and she’s followed them ever since, adventuring to lands unknown.

Being someone who has been socially outcast most of her life, she has very little to say. When she speaks, she speaks bluntly. She blurts out the truth as she sees it. In her mentality, Truth and Beauty are in the eye of the Beholder; Neutrals are just as good as bad; Material goods are irrelevant.

Strengths: Although Ana is small, she has agility and speed at her side. Silence is her game and a kill is her prize. Her slashing style and silent stuns and explosive getaways make her a hard one to defeat.

Weaknesses: Although her blade is swift and her actions are quick and silent, she cannot take heavy blows from overly strong enemies, such as warriors or barbarians. She is very small, and does not weigh very much, so a lot of hits are bone crushing and often potentially deadly. Also, Ana is not adept at fighting people with a similar style as hers. It is unique to her in many ways, but the most difficult opponents were the ones who fought very much like herself.

Weapon(s): She carries two, slightly curved short swords. They are curved more than the average Katana and less than the average Scimitar. This improves agility as well as lets the blood drip off the middle of the sword instead of the end. Balance is key when Ana is fighting.

Ana also carries a bow and arrow for distance attacks. Glued to the shaft of the arrow underneath the stone tip are lightening, ice and fire tags in which her sister created for her fighting.

[Delphi]

Okay since this is your first submission I'll be gentle.

It'd probably be a good idea to group your sentences into paragraphs just so you get a better look at how much you've really got down.

With the appearance you probably want to combine the hair color, eye color, and clothing into one paragraph that gives us a better idea of what she looks like. Like is she tall or short? Fat or slender or average? Gangly? Stuff like that. We want to know what your character looks like in your eyes.

She needs her weaknesses and strengths explained a bit more and evened out a bit. Maybe add in some more elements from Naruto like is she good at hand signs but sucks at other stuff or is she like my character Yui who has horrid chakra control?

And for the bio I needs to be expanded a little more. We've got an outline of her history, which is great, but now we need the meat of it. Also explain Shekey and Cais. Are they characters you're going to submit later or are they characters that are just part of her back story? At this point as the reader, I don't' really know. So give me the details to her life so that I can understand why she acts the way she does.

That's basically it but I also had another thought. Is this character for the RPG section proper or for the LA Chronicles?

[Shekey the Green]

ah, yeah..I see what you mean.

Give me a minute.

I'll repost.

And this is RPG

[Shekey the Green]

Is this better? It's been a while since I've seen Naruto, so I might have messed something up.

Eventually, I will Submit Shekey and Cais. I promise. <3 So Don't worry about them.

I haven't created a character sheet in a while, so thanks for bearing with me. I forgot to add in the Naruto elements. x.x I put spaces with the paragraphs, not to make it look longer, but so it's easier on me eyes.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Name: Ana Draven

Original: Yes

Origin: Naruto

Age: 21

Gender: Female

Race: Human

Class: Ninja

Appearance: Ana Draven is a short and gangly human. She's very petite; very short and slender. Being only 5'1", her competitors are rarely intimidated by her size. Her hair is frighteningly straight and the deepest color of black one could imagine. It's always up in a bun, so length is hard to determine. Her eyes are a bright, emerald green and rarely show emotion. She wears a black, hooded, long sleeved shirt underneath her black, studded-leather armor. She wears tall leather boots underneath her black, baggy cargo pants, where many trinkets (such as lock picks, small daggers, smoke bombs, etc) are kept.

Bio: A child born of the night, Ana grew up with no parents to tell her right or wrong. She grew up homeless, stealing money and food as needed. The city she grew up in called her the Night Walker, because she walked the streets at night, killing for what she thought was the right cause.

She ventured out of her hometown, forgetting the name and the cursed people within it. She haunted forests, generally frightening the travelers and learning how to use her Chakra. She lived a solitary live, training by herself. She has not been able to summon though. Her biting tongue has put her in a bad position with the Beasts. No matter what she fights for, good/bad or right/wrong, they will not come to her aid.

Now, Ana fights for what she calls justice and is very humble when it comes to The Creator. Although she fights for ‘justice’, she does not let anger or humility get in the way of a good fight.

Hunting for food in a forest, she stumbled upon Shekey and Cais one day. A battle ensued between the two and her. After hours had passed, they called it a draw and she requested to follow. Awkwardly, Shekey and Cais accepted, venturing into lands unknown helping Shekey and Cais in their search for the Ice Goddess.

Eventually, this Trio became so close that they considered each other family, because they only had each other.

A little more about Ana: Being someone who has been socially outcast most of her life, she has very little to say. When she speaks, she speaks bluntly. She blurts out the truth as she sees it. In her mentality: Truth and Beauty are in the eye of the Beholder; Neutrals are just as good as bad; Material goods are irrelevant.

Strengths: Although Ana is small, she has agility and speed at her side. Silence is her game and a kill is her prize. Her slashing style and silent stuns and explosive getaways make her a hard one to defeat. Her Chakras are well balanced and she is skilled in using handsigns.

Weaknesses: Although her blade is swift and her actions are quick and silent, she cannot take heavy blows from overly strong enemies, such as warriors or barbarians. She is very small, and does not weigh very much, so a lot of hits are bone crushing and often potentially deadly. Also, Ana is not adept at fighting people with a similar style as hers. It is unique to her in many ways, but the most difficult opponents were the ones who fought very much like herself. As for summoning Jutsus (Beasts), well we might as well forget the idea ever came across, because when it comes to summons, she always messes up. When it comes to being weak against elements, She is weak against Earth and Fire the most.

Weapon(s): She carries two, slightly curved short swords. They are curved more than the average Katana and less than the average Scimitar. This improves agility as well as lets the blood drip off the middle of the sword instead of the end. Balance is key when Ana is fighting.

Ana also carries a bow and arrow for distance attacks. Glued to the shaft of the arrow underneath the stone tip are lightening, ice and fire tags in which her 'sister' created for her fighting.

Edited by Shekey, 07 February 2008 - 03:09 AM.

[Shekey the Green]

Close it.

Because Steel Samurai keeps nagging me to start over.

And meet a new character...

And I gave in.

[Steel Samurai]

Closed.