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My father sickens me.


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#1 TheAvengerLever

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Posted 03 September 2007 - 02:17 PM

I was watching a video on Youtube...specifically, boh3m3's "Dear Flamboyant Gay Man."

Just to draw you into the scene, I'll describe, in short, the video. Boh3m3 was discussing about a gay man and his crew and how they walked into the restraunt at which he (boh3m3) was waiting tables. The gay man was apparently very loud and very rude. Boh3m3 made it absolutely clear that he wasn't being intolerant of the gay peoples by lashing out against this rude customer.

Well, as I was watching, my dad has the audacity to come up to me and tell me to turn off the video. I asked him why, and his response was that he "didn't like that subject" which, of course, he identified as "homosexuality".

I asked him...whyyyy. Why does he not like homosexuals. The answer, my friends, is simple. Anal sex.

Forget the fact that heterosexual couples fornicating before marriage is a sin. Forget the fact that lying is a sin. Forget the fact that murder is preeettty bad. We can't have gay people walking around. Being gay is far, FAR worse.

I even said that to him. I put on my sarcasm, and he says to me, very seriously, that homosexuality is very bad, and he put a lot of emphasis on the last phrase.

I hate intolerance.

#2 Selena

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Posted 03 September 2007 - 03:01 PM

Yes, my stepfather's the same way. Thus why my parents are not allowed into my private life. I'd probably be kicked out of the house fancying women. That kind of hypocrisy is unfortunately common. People get up in arms about gay people being godless fornicators, but that's obviously not true. There are perverts and sluts, sure, but the same is certainly true for straight people. Who also happen to do it up the bum and act equally disgusting. Sluts are sluts no matter who they screw. And it's considered sin, sure. But straight people are not exempt from other sins. So they're stuck in the same boat down the River Styx no matter what they stick their pecker in.

Eh, going of personal experience, it would seem that those 'megachurches' and the DVDs they put out help spread a lot of hate. My stepfather watches a lot of those. The summary of them is basically "Jesus is good, judgment day is almost here, Catholics are evil and misguided so let us laugh at them, gays are ruining society. Amen." And they all sort of miss the entire point of Christianity, which is about love and forgiveness instead of judgment and prejudice. The only person who gets to make the call on where the gay people go when they croak is the big man himself. Humans don't have the right to condemn anyone.

As my mother is Catholic, and as I fancy girls, one can tell how popular those movie are in this house. We flee to other rooms when they come on.

Yeah, it sucks. People who hate gays sometimes don't consider the fact that some day, one of their children might have a different orientation. I've heard that my stepfather would be rather shamed and disgusted if his two year old son turned gay, and I don't really want to find out what will happen when he finds out I am. That's a revelation that will have to come after I move out. Because then it won't matter. It's a tricky position. Defend yourself and take on the risks of that, or shut up and live in relative peace while putting up with that homophobic attitude. Eh. As a result, I don't even feel all that comfortable talking about it here.

#3 Reflectionist

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Posted 03 September 2007 - 04:01 PM

Tell him maybe gay people think sex with women is bad.

Crap, there are TONS of examples for that one too.

Edited by Reflectionist, 03 September 2007 - 04:01 PM.


#4 Twinrova

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Posted 03 September 2007 - 04:31 PM

Lena pretty much summed up everything I was gonna say, my father's the same way. My mom once told me "your father would die of heart failure if a gay couple moved in next door". I wonder what he would do if he found out there was one in the house. 9_9 I wouldn't put it past him to either never speak to me again, refuse to pay for college, or just plain kick me out. Or all three. He pretty much worships the ground that George Bush and Rush Limbaugh walk on, to give you an idea of what he's like. e_e
I once tried to tell my mom that I'm gay. That didn't go over very well. She suggested I go see a shrink to make sure that I wasn't just "confused". She never actually made me go, but the suggestion was insulting enough. I made her promise not to tell my father, and as far as I know she hasn't, since my father still speaks to me, pays for college, and lets me in the house. However she hasn't said a word to me about it since I tried telling her, and I haven't said anything to her either. This wassss.. four years ago. x_o; So either she's managed to convince herself it was a bad dream or has just completely forgotten about it, or something. Although I have noticed the "when-you-have-kids" comments have disappeared. I suppose the only way I'll know is if I bring it up again, but the first time was terrible enough and I'd rather just pretend it never happened.

ANYWAY.
Yeah. I'm not going to let either of them into my personal life until I'm out of college and on my own and am able to support myself. And probably not even then. :|

#5 Nevermind

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Posted 03 September 2007 - 08:04 PM

My father doesn't really seem to have a problem with gay people at all. From what I can tell at least. He's very much an 'each to his or her own' sort of person. I actually overheard my brother suggesting to him one morning that I could be gay because something something I can't remember, but my dad actually told him that it's usually the people who are vehemently against it that are more likely to turn out gay because they're afraid. In short, he was backing me up and doesn't believe I'm gay fortunately. Unlike my mum, who told me that she still loved me if I was gay after I had been without a girlfriend for an extended amount of time...

#6 MikePetersSucks

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Posted 03 September 2007 - 09:57 PM

See, I lucked out. I live in the most tolerant town EVER. No racists, homophobes, sexists, or discrimination against people's religions. Unfortunately, it's one of those podunk towns no one's ever heard of, so it's not like anyone's gonna take our example. Damn.

Also, to the people who have homophobic fathers/stepfathers/whatever, tell them they're idiots and they're probably making their God angry.

#7 Captain Jack Sparrow

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Posted 04 September 2007 - 08:40 AM

Hey guys and gals, happened to be in the neighborhood.

I once read a book called Ironman, great book. It is about a tri-athelete who, among other difficulties, discovers his swimming coach (big, burly guy) is homosexual. The first thing he does is start avoiding his coach. Of course, he feels really broken up about this because his coach was his friend for years. With the help of his anger management teacher (who is quite the philosopher) he understands his problem with his coach. The response of this teacher is probably the most intelligent reason I have seen or heard for homosexual resentment in my life.

The teacher said that the only reason people resent homosexuality is because of the nature of the difference between homosexuals and "straits". If I see a guy with no legs, I think about his legs, because that is how he is different. Because homosexuality is different sexual preference the first thing that many people think about homosexuals is what happens when they have such intimate relations. Of course, this doesn't happen with other people, because there is no reason to spur the thought. If I were to think about my parents doing their thing without the background I know about them as good people that I know and love, I most likely wouldn't like my parents very much. I'd be afraid to talk to them. People have a personal life that doesn't concern you and shouldn't concern you. Unless you are somehow involved in that personal life, you shouldn't care what type of sex they have. It just doesn't matter.
Should it matter what my 40 year old English teacher does at night in the privacy of her home? No. I shouldn't. Because I know that my teacher is a good respectable person, and that I am not involved in that aspect of her life. To think about someones personal life will probably bring back uncomfortable results for anyone, strait or not.

Edited by Captain Jack Sparrow, 04 September 2007 - 08:44 AM.


#8 spunky-monkey

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Posted 04 September 2007 - 10:59 PM

I feel this is too much of an emotionally charged debate; without sounding like a complete hypocrite the problem here is not intolerance people, as long as you live under your parent's roof you live by their rules. No 'ifs' or 'buts'. For example, when they ask "No blasphemous/adult programs on the television please", you say okay and cease from watching said material that offends them, because unless you contribute to your keep or something you're not exactly in the position to argue back.

And now for infamous quote: 'If you don't like it then you know where the door is'.

Edited by Ricky, 04 September 2007 - 11:02 PM.


#9 vodkamaru

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Posted 04 September 2007 - 11:42 PM

I feel this is too much of an emotionally charged debate; without sounding like a complete hypocrite the problem here is not intolerance people, as long as you live under your parent's roof you live by their rules. No 'ifs' or 'buts'. For example, when they ask "No blasphemous/adult programs on the television please", you say okay and cease from watching said material that offends them, because unless you contribute to your keep or something you're not exactly in the position to argue back.

And now for infamous quote: 'If you don't like it then you know where the door is'.

Do what you're told... awesome. "My parents said I had to be homophobic." I'm pretty sure if someone's parents kicked the kid out because (s)he wasn't "following the rules" then child protective services would be on their ass in a heartbeat.

Edited by vodkamaru, 04 September 2007 - 11:48 PM.


#10 Twinrova

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Posted 05 September 2007 - 12:19 AM

I feel this is too much of an emotionally charged debate; without sounding like a complete hypocrite the problem here is not intolerance people, as long as you live under your parent's roof you live by their rules. No 'ifs' or 'buts'. For example, when they ask "No blasphemous/adult programs on the television please", you say okay and cease from watching said material that offends them, because unless you contribute to your keep or something you're not exactly in the position to argue back.

And now for infamous quote: 'If you don't like it then you know where the door is'.



...Yeah because 'NO HOMOS IN MY HOUSE' is a completely acceptable rule to force your kids to live by.

#11 Selena

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Posted 05 September 2007 - 12:36 AM

Of course it isn't. But Ricky has a single point in that parents hold authority over you and provide you with the very means to live. It can be difficult to change someone's viewpoint about these things, especially when they hold an extreme negative opinion on it. Telling your parents off can make you feel very empowered until they kick you out. It would be nice to have parents that would understand you and accept you for who you are, but that's not always going to be the case. Which is why that, given the situation at hand, my private life remains something that I don't talk about. The 'this is who I am and if you don't like it you can go fuck yourself' is a statement that can only come when I'm financially secure and on my own. You do that too soon and you'll be out in the cold and leeching off your friends or other relatives for food and shelter. Worse off if you don't have any of those nearby.

You have to have some rationality in your rebellion and not fly off the handle in a disappointing display of over the top emotion, otherwise it amounts to nothing productive.

#12 wisp

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Posted 05 September 2007 - 01:12 AM

You have to have some rationality in your rebellion and not fly off the handle in a disappointing display of over the top emotion, otherwise it amounts to nothing productive.

True... but I think Ricky was incorrect when he said that the problem was "not intolerance." Rules or no, the problem most certainly is that the parents in question are being intolerant jerks. I'd say it's definitely a problem when their "rules" force their children to pretend to be something they are not.

#13 Selena

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Posted 05 September 2007 - 01:16 AM

Yes, intolerant parents are quite obviously the actual problem.


The thing is, your chances of altering their opinions are rather abysmal. It's not really pretending that you aren't gay, but rather keeping the details of your private life to yourself and not talking about it. Which is unfortunate, but necessary. And that's something that the children in these families have to accept or fight tooth and nail.

#14 Fyxe

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Posted 05 September 2007 - 04:53 AM

It's something everyone else needs to fight tooth and nail as well. Changing people's opinions is actually possible. Over here in England, the guy who inititated the attempt to remove the illegality from homosexuality thought the act was 'repulsive' but he argued for it's legality partially because he discovered his son was gay.

So yes, sometimes, when a parent finds out their kid is gay, they won't doom them to a life on the streets. What sort of hideous parent would? Yes, there are some, but most parents care about their children, and most parents are aware that homosexuality is an accepted part of life nowadays, even if they don't like it. And some will even fight the law for the rights of their children, in an age where homosexuals were given death sentences.

As for the 'my house, my rules', fuck off. The parents gave life to the child, they have to give it rights.

#15 Vazor

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Posted 05 September 2007 - 06:39 AM

It's something everyone else needs to fight tooth and nail as well. Changing people's opinions is actually possible. Over here in England, the guy who inititated the attempt to remove the illegality from homosexuality thought the act was 'repulsive' but he argued for it's legality partially because he discovered his son was gay.

So yes, sometimes, when a parent finds out their kid is gay, they won't doom them to a life on the streets. What sort of hideous parent would? Yes, there are some, but most parents care about their children, and most parents are aware that homosexuality is an accepted part of life nowadays, even if they don't like it. And some will even fight the law for the rights of their children, in an age where homosexuals were given death sentences.

As for the 'my house, my rules', fuck off. The parents gave life to the child, they have to give it rights.

I agree with the second paragraph, but, as for the first, you really can't change someone's opinion that easily. Sounds to me like that guy in England was just embarrassed and covering his own ass. If somebody feels so strongly about something, it's probably a waste of time to try to change them.

People have a right to their opinions, however intolerant these opinions may be. Part of the concept of freedom is the right to be wrong, and to try to destroy their opinions to support your own would be hypocritical, regardless of which party is right.

Long story short: People are idiots, live with it.

#16 wisp

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Posted 05 September 2007 - 12:05 PM

People have a right to their opinions, however intolerant these opinions may be. Part of the concept of freedom is the right to be wrong, and to try to destroy their opinions to support your own would be hypocritical, regardless of which party is right.

Long story short: People are idiots, live with it.

Of course people have the right to their opinions, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't strive to make the world a more accepting place. Like the guy Fyxe mentioned, one can have a negative opinion about a certain act and still not try to force that opinion on others. Nobody's asking anyone to like homosexuality if they don't, it's just a matter of wanting them to allow homosexuals to be themselves without getting a bunch of flack for it (and possibly kicked out of the house).

Long story short: Yes, people are idiots, but that doesn't mean we have to lay down and continue allowing them to act ignorantly without at least trying to get them to see the other side of things.

#17 Fyxe

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Posted 05 September 2007 - 12:36 PM

Sounds to me like that guy in England was just embarrassed and covering his own ass.

This was a day and age where people would disown their children, so I doubt it. He obviously, y'know, liked his kid, because campaigning for it's legality is a big deal, that's not 'covering his ass' that's 'challenging the whole legal system'.

If somebody feels so strongly about something, it's probably a waste of time to try to change them.

But not everyone feels really strongly about it. They've never been challenged. Many people have just developed the opinion early on and stuck with it.

People have a right to their opinions, however intolerant these opinions may be. Part of the concept of freedom is the right to be wrong, and to try to destroy their opinions to support your own would be hypocritical, regardless of which party is right.

Long story short: People are idiots, live with it.

Of course people have a right to their opinion, but you're wrong about the fact that they should be left alone. Sure, they're free to be wrong, but if they are wrong, it might be a good idea to tell them why and give them a reason to realise their fault. They're free to ignore it, of course.

Basically, no need to let idiots continue being idiots in the name of freedom.

Edit: I just realised wisp said pretty much all of that already. MY BAD.

Edited by Fyxe, 05 September 2007 - 12:37 PM.


#18 wisp

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Posted 05 September 2007 - 12:48 PM

XDD

You know, I don't know if any of you remember... but back around the time I first joined LA, I was a pretty big Christian and I actually believed very strongly that homosexuality was a sin. I thought that most gays were gay by choice or social influence, and I believed that those who were actually born gay were in a very small minority, and were gay because of some mental imbalance or something that went wrong while they were in the womb. I also believed that those people were to remain single and celibate for their whole lives if they wanted to be right with "God." Simply put, I was completely brainwashed by the Christian community.

I got away from the influence of ignorant people for a while and realized that I had been terribly wrong. A lot of what caused me to change my mind actually happened right here in contro. So yes, it is highly possible to change someone's mind, even if that person holds a strong opinion. We aren't doing the world any favours by allowing them to continue holding unchallenged, nearly thoughtless beliefs. Of course I recognize that in certain situations, especially those involving parental disapproval, it can be better not to say anything. That's obvious. But on a larger scale, more people need to start speaking up and promote actual knowledge of the nature of homosexuality. If people are exposed to both sides of the story, they're still free to side with whichever they want, but they are a lot more likely to at least understand gays and be a bit more tolerant of them.

#19 Ribbon

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Posted 05 September 2007 - 08:39 PM

I was watching a video on Youtube...specifically, boh3m3's "Dear Flamboyant Gay Man."

Just to draw you into the scene, I'll describe, in short, the video. Boh3m3 was discussing about a gay man and his crew and how they walked into the restraunt at which he (boh3m3) was waiting tables. The gay man was apparently very loud and very rude. Boh3m3 made it absolutely clear that he wasn't being intolerant of the gay peoples by lashing out against this rude customer.

Well, as I was watching, my dad has the audacity to come up to me and tell me to turn off the video. I asked him why, and his response was that he "didn't like that subject" which, of course, he identified as "homosexuality".

I asked him...whyyyy. Why does he not like homosexuals. The answer, my friends, is simple. Anal sex.

Forget the fact that heterosexual couples fornicating before marriage is a sin. Forget the fact that lying is a sin. Forget the fact that murder is preeettty bad. We can't have gay people walking around. Being gay is far, FAR worse.

I even said that to him. I put on my sarcasm, and he says to me, very seriously, that homosexuality is very bad, and he put a lot of emphasis on the last phrase.

I hate intolerance.



I'm sorry to disagree with you baby but...the bible does call homosexuality an abomination and it is one of the worst things you can do.

Yes, all those things are sin, so is being gay end of story. He didn't forget, its just brining up lying or murder would have nothing to do with being gay so that's probably why he didn't say anything.

My best friend is gay and he knows I don't support him in that decision what-so-ever and he's heard me rant about how much I hate it or don't agree with it and he's fine with that. He tolerates my views and I tolerate his hahaha we just don't agree.

#20 Selena

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Posted 05 September 2007 - 08:58 PM

I'm sorry to disagree with you baby but...the bible does call homosexuality an abomination and it is one of the worst things you can do.


Isn't that a rather hypocritical stance to take given how you've told everyone in the past how you'd like to fool around with a girl?

He didn't say the Bible didn't condemn such unions, but rather how straight people are on the same exact level as gays given how everyone has lied or broken some other commandment in their lifetimes. One sin doesn't outweigh the other when you're trying to get to heaven. So no, homosexuality is not 'one of the worst things you can do.' People make it a bigger deal than it really is.

#21 wisp

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Posted 05 September 2007 - 09:18 PM

I think it's also appropriate to remind you that the verses in the Bible that seem to condemn homosexuality are widely thought of as mistranslations that are taken out of their proper historical context.

#22 Twinrova

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Posted 05 September 2007 - 10:40 PM

Isn't that a rather hypocritical stance to take given how you've told everyone in the past how you'd like to fool around with a girl?

That's what I'm wondering. I also seem to remember your little orientation icon was changed to bisexual for some time.

Maybe she means just the homos are going to hell. Hmm.

#23 Vazor

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Posted 05 September 2007 - 11:12 PM

I'm sorry to disagree with you baby but...the bible does call homosexuality an abomination and it is one of the worst things you can do.


Isn't that a rather hypocritical stance to take given how you've told everyone in the past how you'd like to fool around with a girl?

Show me one person who isn't a hypocrite.

#24 Selena

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Posted 05 September 2007 - 11:23 PM

You know full well I couldn't.


But that doesn't mean it should be an acceptable thing, nor does it take away from the question I asked. I'm wanting to learn more about her stance given previous and current statements on the issue, as she's both condemned it on a whole while endorsing it for herself. Did I do a bad thing by pointing that out? Opinions can certainly change over time, but we don't know what the case is here. So let's give her a chance to respond.

#25 Rave Larrin

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Posted 11 September 2007 - 08:13 PM

Hah! You think your dad is bad? My BEST FRIEND told me the other day that gays were evil because they're 'contrary to nature'. And he doesn't even believe in any kind of god!

Needless to say, I was a little too intimidated to immediately come out of the closet. So I sort of changed the subject. :P

#26 Arturo

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Posted 12 September 2007 - 04:21 PM

I must say that, thanks to God, I've never had any real problems with my parents. My father, especially is kinda traditionalist, but he accepts me how I am. The only thing he fears is that I might get AIDS. Maybe the AIDS-paranoia is in my genes, because I am paranoid about it...

I am going to quote the Bible, which reminds the parents who would disown their sons because of homosexuality:

"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!



#27 Steel Samurai

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Posted 12 September 2007 - 09:48 PM

Sorry Art, but I can't see how that has all that much to do with homosexuality. The example there is more a statement of fact about what parents do for their children than anything.

#28 Selena

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Posted 12 September 2007 - 10:18 PM

Eh?

No, of course it doesn't have anything to do with sexuality. It's about showing love and care for your children. Perhaps not the best quote, but proper advice none the less.

#29 vodkamaru

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Posted 13 September 2007 - 08:37 AM

AIDS: It's not just for homosexuals anymore!

#30 Showsni

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Posted 13 September 2007 - 05:00 PM

[acronym="]Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged."]My brother's friend's father's brother died of AIDS because the blood transfusions for his haemophilia were infected. My brother's friend's father only got Hepatitis C. (I say only...) http://www.taintedbl.../background.php

No, of course it doesn't have anything to do with sexuality. It's about showing love and care for your children. Perhaps not the best quote, but proper advice none the less.


Colossians 3:21, also.[/acronym]




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